huskers11 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 I met this guy about two weeks ago and about a week ago we hit it off.. We started talking non stop and had a really really good first date. Well We were hanging out a few days ago and got a little carried away and ended up having sex. Afterwards we talked and cuddled. He told me that he felt like we really connected and he typically doesn't just jump into things like this. We kind of stopped talking to me as much the next day. Finally last night I asked if he was okay with everythign taht happened and he basically said he was nervous about starting something new, doesn't want to rush it and we needed with him being like lets take things slow and see where it goes. From the comments his friends have made and the way they are with me, I think he does like me.. And I know it wasn't the sex, because we have talked about how freaking amazing that was! haha.. He got out of a 6 yr relationship beg of march and I got out of a relationship end of Jan. Is he just scared of how fast it happened? We really hadn't known each other that long but for some reason it felt right and it was super comfortable.. Right now, I plan on giving him his space for a few days.. Is he scared(which is kind of the impression i'm getting) Or I'm just trying to make excuses for a crappy situation? Also, Is there any advice on how to make this progress without smoothering him or scarying him further? Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Mr. Slim Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 There is a small chance he was just after sex, and is now trying to fade away. The most likely scenario is that he is just tapping the brakes, since after all it has only been two weeks. There was nothing wrong with having sex at the point you did as long as you were both comfortable, but now it's almost like you need to forget that it happened and get back to seeing what kind of compatibility. Sometimes having sex will accelerate a relationship and bring two people closer, but that doesn't' appear to be the case here.
Cypress25 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Agree with Mr. Slim. Too often when a guy says "let's take it slow" after sex, he means "let's take the emotional part slow, but let's continue having sex." If I were you, I would agree to take things slow and stop having sex with him. After all, if you're taking it slow, then neither of you are ready for sex yet, right? Let him prove that he's not just in it for sex.
justme37 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Easy way to tell is when the next time you guys see each other, like in an atmosphere that could produce sex, if he initiates sexual activity, tell him "I thought you wanted to take it slow" If he dismisses that comment and continues his actions then he more than likely is only in it for the sex.
Author huskers11 Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 So what am I suppose to do now? We had this convo last night so should I give him space for the weekend then text him Mon or Tues if I haven't heard from him and be like "hey how's it going?" Or is it one of those things where if I don't hear from him within a few days it's clear he was only after what he got?
Cypress25 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Why don't you just wait for him to contact you? He probably will, and I think you'd feel better if you let him do that.
justme37 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 if you just had the conversation last night, give him space and let him contact you
Author huskers11 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 In my last relationship I got extremely hurt and I shared this with him and I do have a feeling he is also scared.. Hopefully it all works out because I do have feelings for him.. But it is early enough that if we ended it, it isn't the end of the world. I would like to give us the best shot possible though and I greatly appreciate everyone's insight and advice!
TuffCookieX Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 In my last relationship I got extremely hurt and I shared this with him and I do have a feeling he is also scared.. Hopefully it all works out because I do have feelings for him.. But it is early enough that if we ended it, it isn't the end of the world. I would like to give us the best shot possible though and I greatly appreciate everyone's insight and advice! I'm in the exact same boat as you... also waiting for him to contact me after my 2nd date which was almost 2 weeks ago. I haven't heard from hin in 4 days =( I'm getting sad but trying to find other men to date in the meantime.
Recommended Posts