DLFresh Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Too make a long story short my girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago after 3 years...I broke no contact to see if we could talk again...she said it was too soon and that she still loved me and thought about me all the time...I want to move on and put it behind me but it has been really hard...I was thinking of dropping off an envelope with all the cards and letters that she gave me and pictures along with a letter wishing her well and wishing things had turned out differently...I think it might help me with some closure...good or bad idea?
radiodarcy Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 i don't think that's a good idea. just toss 'em or have a friend or family member hide them away so you can't locate them. closure comes from within and if she's hurting what good is it going to do to dump the past in her lap?
Art_Critic Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 i don't think that's a good idea. just toss 'em or have a friend or family member hide them away so you can't locate them. closure comes from within and if she's hurting what good is it going to do to dump the past in her lap? This is great advice... Returning letters and gifts given says more about the person doing the returning than the person who originally gave them. No sense in trying to make a statement with those items..
aussie_bloke Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Returning letters and gifts given says more about the person doing the returning than the person who originally gave them. I agree 100%, she hurt you but there is no reason to be @$$hole about it. Be the bigger person and don't drop to the low blow level. Also it will only make her think alot less of you. Throwing them out is a big step in the healing process, as long as you are holding onto them you are not ready/won't be able to fully move on. Best of luck dude
ConfusedT Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 i literally just ripped up ALL of my letters today. I read each one, one last time, weeping =/, but then tore them up... no reason to widen an already open wound...
cavedweller Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 DL, Throw all pictures and cards in the landfill and move on.. my 2 cents
Author DLFresh Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Hey everyone...thank you for all the advice, unfortunately, I didn't take it...I dropped the envelope off earlier today...definitely having second thoughts now...but to be fair, the note I left was very nice and just said that I wish we could have talked again and that this was just something I felt I needed to do to close the door, and that I really wished her well... Is that really such a @sshole thing to do? Actually, a girl did that to me one time...sent me a bunch of pictures of us when I cut things off...it didn't make me want her back, but it did make me think that I could have handled it better... The thing is with my ex, is I know we can't be together again, but she drops things on me to think that there is still a chance at some point...I think it's her way of trying to let me down easier, but it's so easy to read too much into it...I think it was my way of saying "I am closing the door, and here is the past that you gave up on, and I am giving up on it too...have a good one" I TOTALLY understand where everyone is coming from with letting it go and being the bigger person, but I do feel a bit of relief and in my heart I was really not trying to be malicious...does anyone out there relate? I love this site!
todd Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Why even post on here if you aren't even going to wait for everyones advice on the subject. Everyone saying it was a bad idea, but you had your mind set up already and that was a chance of getting her back in my eyes. You are not over her and still want to be with her so you thought that by giving her all of the items and notes of love and affection that you guys shared during your relationship it might spur those great memories of the past in her and make her want to coming running back before its too late. If you wanted to truly get rid of them to find closure why give it to the one person you are trying to forget. If you were trying to remove them from your life wouldnt of made more sense to just throw them out or destroying them. And as you said it was your last attempt to get at her for breaking your heart and giving up on you. That is a dick move and doesn't show you being the bigger person and moving on.
Author DLFresh Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 When you are right, you're right...
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