johnwoo Posted April 30, 2004 Posted April 30, 2004 This is my first time writing. 9 days ago, my g/f of 10 years told me she wants to move out and she said there's someone else in her life. I think she has mixed emotions about the situation. She said she's been seeing this guy for 8 months now. He's 4 years younger than her and works at the same place. I can't imagine my soulmate going for that guy. I told her that it's just a fling and needs to wake up and go on with our lives. but, she seems she really likes this guy. I think she's confused. I've been treating her pretty bad in recent years like taking her for granted. I told her I would change. She says it's too late. We still live together and don't even talk about it anymore. She rejects me in bed. and even holding her. but, we still treat each other like husband and wife. Is there any chance I can get her back?
hoogh Posted May 1, 2004 Posted May 1, 2004 I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. A few years ago, I was in your girlfriend's position. I tried to reach out to my ex for years and he promissed to change, but it never happened. We grew more and more distant, but I kept trying to save our relationship. The love I had for him kept dwindling to the point that I would look at him and hate myself for letting someone treat me the way that he did. I'm not saying all of it was his fault, but I would try to talk to him and he barely ever responded- he was not a good communicator. I met someone at work and fell madly in love. He gave me everything I wanted from my ex and more. When I told my ex it was over and he realized that I was serious, he started to change, but at that point- it was way way too late as I had fallen out of love with him and in love with someone else. I hope this is not the case for you. My suggestion is to find a time to talk to her and tell her how you feel about her and see if she still loves you. Let her know what you are willing to do and make sure she understands that this time IS different. If she is where I was a couple of years before I left, she'll give you another chance, but if she is far away from her feelings for you- it may be time to move on. You may also want to think about why you want to be with someone who has been with someone else. If it doesn't work with her- you WILL find someone else and you will make a much better boyfriend because you have learned from this. I know the woman my ex is with now is treated much better than he ever treated me because he had to lose me to learn how to treat a woman. good luck and take care...
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