sm1tten Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 About a month ago I met a guy off match and we starting seeing each other exclusively, boyfriend/girlfriend within the first week. I really liked this guy and saw real long term potential. However, life happened. He has a high pressure job for which he is somewhat underqualified and he got very behind at work. Then he left the country for his sisters wedding. When he came back it was made clear that he was in big trouble. In the meantime his apartment became uninhabitable forcing him to start searching for a new place and his dad, who is bipolar, went through a breakup and started leaning on his son very hard. And I, of course, had my own **** to deal with. About a week ago, seeing how frustrated and stressed he was, I told him if he wanted to take a few steps back from our relationship that I understood. He never really responded to this but we only saw each other once after that - while I was moving, aka stressfest. Anyway I asked him if I would see him before he left for an important trip and he said he thought so, but no firm plans were made and eventually I said "will I see you tomorrow?"later that night he broke up with me. He said he was under too much pressure to be in a relationship and didn't have the time for a social life, that he felt like he was on the verge of shutting down from being so overwhelmed.* For what it's worth I do believe him. But it doesnt really matter. Although he told me that he liked me a lot and cared very much for me and that I had not put any pressure on him or demanded his time, he felt that he needed to focus on work as it was his number one priority. Knowing this didn't make me feel better. I am also going through a parallel circumstance and felt that if he wanted to make it work, we could have. But he was both wanting to break up entirely and not wanting to make any predictions about the future. It bothered me that this seemed somewhat out of left field and that he hadn't talked to me about it first, but I was determined not to convince him, beg, or anything like that. If he doesn't want to be with me, then so be it. I also told him that no, I don't want to be friends. This all happened last night. This breakup has got me really down. I have a hard time letting people in and leaning on them in any way, and I found myself holding back with him because I didn't want to add pressure. While I'm sympathetic to his reasoning I'm also really hurt by it.* I guess I'm not looking for advice so much as wanting to vent and maybe get some support. This is my third breakup this year! And I'm starting to lose faith that I'll ever find the right person at the right time.*After just a month I wasn't in love but that potential was hanging in front of me; we had a really good time together and were more compatible than any other relationship I've ever had, so it just, well, sucks.
Nohbody Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 The only one that works out is the last one. Or so one can hope.
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