Bubby Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 My marriage has been broken up now for about 3 weeks. Good old hubby has moved on very very quickly as if none of this has effected him in anyway. He decided to go to a football game tonight and he has told me for years that he doesnt even like the code it is. In Australia we have several codes. He told me that he would not be home until tomorrow and has taken the car. I am at home with the animals again. But today I went for a job interview and it looks like i got this and one I went for the other day. I was so excited. I called him to let him know how it went. He dismissed me and told me we would discuss it tomorrow when he would be home. On the way home I was crying because of his dismissiveness. I so desparately wanted him to be at home and tell me that he had made a mistake and that he really loved me. I must have sat outside on the back verandah and cried consistently for over about three hours. At first when I came home and knew that he would not be there despite my heart crying out for this I sobbed my eyes out. Then it turned into just an endless flow of tears until I felt that i could not cry anymore. All I feel now is an endless sadness for what has been lost and that each time I cry like this it seems that aq little bit of my love is dying or fading. There seemed to be some turning point today. I have also started journaling and that felt better. Maybe it will help me stop sending him silly messages which don't help him or me. Maybe now I can start to come to grips with the end of my marriage and the end of my love.
Viv Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 HI, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've found that writing how Im feeling in a note on my phone, whenever it's get too much, has helped me to stop sending those messages! And also reminding myself, he knows I didn't want this, he knows I think what he's done is rubbish, I've pretended to him that I am OK, and there's nothing more that I need to say!
stillafool Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 So you guys have been split for 3 weeks. When are you planning on moving out or is he moving out? If you two aren't going to reconcile it is better to be away from him so you won't have to see him moving on without you thus keeping you depressed. Good that you think you have this new job. That should help a lot in keeping your mind busy so you don't think of him so much.
Author Bubby Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Once I'm back at work and I an financial again he will be moving out. I'm fed up with him being in the house but at present it is necessary. I can hardly wait to start working because I will be starting my savings and I should have enough by the middle of next month to get him out. I will start using the notes on my phone as well to stop sending those messages. Doing that keeps me so disempowered. I also started journaling after I wrote the first post. Wow that really is good stuff. I let out so much stuff. Felt good.
Pelican Paw Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Sorry Bubby, I am sorry about your suffering. Accept that it is going to hurt for a while but that you will be okay at the end of the day. When my boyfriend of 12 years broke up with me (the one before the last) he also stayed with me for a month. He was in and out as he had met someone else before he moved on but it was awful when he was here and I don't envy your situation at all. You have to make some sort of peace that your husband does not want to be with you right now. Honestly, as much as you may be conforted in seeing him regularly and being able to keep an eye on his movements, for you it is certainly not healthy and the sooner he can move out the sooner you can move on. I know moving on right now is the last thing you want to do, but it is the healthiest for you and just remember, YOU WILL BE OKAY. You always welcome to lean on other here, like me, as and when you need it.
Viv Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Hi Bubby, sorry I can't relate to him still being around, that must be tough, I wanted to mention there's a thread on here specifically for posting a message to someone to stop you from actually sending it. It hasn't stopped me yet, and every one I do send just makes me feel even worse, but good luck!
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