Can't let go

[shoesies05]

I have trust issues.

 

I hate it- I feel as though my feelings are running my life. Right now I have this feeling in my chest as if my boyfriend is doing something he shouldn't be while on his vacation.

 

background: I am 23. When I was 18 I got cheated on my first love, first EVERYTHING, fiance. We had been together 2.5 years and I was jealous with him- but looking back on it, I think I had good reason to be.

 

But with my current bf whom I love so deeply- I find myself being really worried that he is betraying me but I don't think I really have reason to feel this way.

 

 

When my fiance cheated he was on a trip- my current bf is on a trip and it just takes me back to that place where I feel so vulnerable, I feel like it is going to happen all over again.

 

I don't understand how I am still so deeply affected by being cheated on even 5 years later and when I am with a guy who is honest with me and while he has def. hurt me too in his own way, he hasn't done anything for me to think he is cheating.

 

Does anyone have any advice for REALLY getting being cheated on- I don't want to ruin my relationship through my pain and distrust due to another person betraying me and not him.

 

Thanks

[HurtZ]

I have trust issues.

 

I hate it- I feel as though my feelings are running my life. Right now I have this feeling in my chest as if my boyfriend is doing something he shouldn't be while on his vacation.

 

background: I am 23. When I was 18 I got cheated on my first love, first EVERYTHING, fiance. We had been together 2.5 years and I was jealous with him- but looking back on it, I think I had good reason to be.

 

But with my current bf whom I love so deeply- I find myself being really worried that he is betraying me but I don't think I really have reason to feel this way.

 

 

When my fiance cheated he was on a trip- my current bf is on a trip and it just takes me back to that place where I feel so vulnerable, I feel like it is going to happen all over again.

 

I don't understand how I am still so deeply affected by being cheated on even 5 years later and when I am with a guy who is honest with me and while he has def. hurt me too in his own way, he hasn't done anything for me to think he is cheating.

 

Does anyone have any advice for REALLY getting being cheated on- I don't want to ruin my relationship through my pain and distrust due to another person betraying me and not him.

 

Thanks

 

I'm probably not the best one to give advice, but I know what it feels like to be cheated on and it's the worst. It can really mess up your mind and emotions for a long time. The main thing to remember is that you shouldn't punish your current partner for your past boyfriend's infidelity. There will be nothing positive to come of that and you will either 1. make him cheat by being so suspicious or 2. make him hate being around you because he feels like he can't have a life outside of your relationship.

 

I would suggest focusing on yourself and your goals in life. You are young still and there are several things in life that you probably still need to learn. If you still feel you have trust issues seek out therapy or self help books that talk about being cheated on and how to let that go so it doesn't haunt your future relationships. Good luck dear.