Ujuyler Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 It's about my 14 year-old brother that's recently getting bullied and he refuses to give me any information about it. Is there something he isn't telling me about? This really doesn't add up. First he won't even tell me the name of the bully and when I told him how I'll straighten out that punk he stopped me. He keeps telling he that he can handle it. Lastly I asked for the height out of curiosity and he told me 5'7 (that's my brother's height too) and then he said no I don't know.
Author Ujuyler Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) It seems he keeps on defending his bully. Lately he has changed from the once outgoing, humorous brother to a distant, moody person. I caught him one day crying but refused to tell me anything. I want to kick this guy's ass but it's weird my brother isn't doing it himself. Why is he so scared? Edited August 12, 2011 by Ujuyler
Afishwithabike Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 That sounds like a common response to bullying. There's often a code of silence surrounding bullying. The victims suffer in silence because they don't think there's anything anyone can do for them or they feel powerless to stop the bullying. It's not weird that your brother can't stop it. It's the dynamics of a bully/victim relationship. He might be afraid that if you, the older brother, step in things might get worse for him with the bully when you're not there. It could also be that the person bullying him is a person he considers a friend or wants as a friend so there's the fear of losing a friendship. It could be more than one person who is bullying him. Is there anyone you could report this to at school, assuming this is happening at school?
Author Ujuyler Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Is there anyone you could report this to at school, assuming this is happening at school?I would but if he doesn't want me to help him then there isn't much to do. I think I'll have to secretly followed him. After pressing him too much about the bully (he said it's only 1 person), I was told the bully's name is Avery. I don't think I've ever heard that name before.
tman666 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Bro, let him handle this. Doing the dirty work for him or giving his bully a beatdown would your little brother a great disservice. In big-boy land (the real adult world), you can't go around opening up a can of whoop ass whenever you run across someone who treats you unfairly, looks at you the wrong way, or is picking on you. If you go that route, you'll end up in jail, unemployed or underemployed, severely beaten, or dead. Your job as his big brother is to set a good example through your own actions. Going and fixing the problem for him teaches him nothing. Instead, be there for him in a non-judgmental, open way. Share your own experiences. Teach him self defense (WHICH IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THAN GOING AND ASSAULTING SOMEONE). He doesn't have to put up with the bully, but he should learn how to stand up for himself in a way that doesn't land him in hot water. Verbal Judo and learning how to verbally diffuse a situation will serve him much better in the long run than having his older brother attempt to poorly deal with it for him.
Forever Learning Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 It seems he keeps on defending his bully. Lately he has changed from the once outgoing, humorous brother to a distant, moody person. I caught him one day crying but refused to tell me anything. I want to kick this guy's ass but it's weird my brother isn't doing it himself. Why is he so scared? This is a very serious situation, you need to inform your parents and I would think people at the school as well. Don't let your brother try to handle this all on his own, his personality is already changing and you've caught him crying, he could be sinking into a depression and that could lead to something worse. He needs a helping hand in resolving this situation. Once the depression kicks in and his self esteem is suffering, it can go down hill in a jiffy. I don't want him to turn to drugs or attempt suicide. I was bullied alot by both males and females in junior high and high school because I was shy and an easy target. No one helped me. My self esteem suffered, I became depressed. Do the right thing, keep talking to your brother for details and info, be a friend to him at all times, and tell your parents at a minimum, I would prefer someone at the school be made aware as well, this bully is probably ruining a number of other kids lives who may not have anyone to turn to. You might be able to help more kids than just your brother by getting this bully to cease and desist immediately. Good luck.
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