Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) I have a male friend who took his girlfriend of 4 months to a party at a coworker's house last weekend. She is a lightweight and got completely drunk. She heard her boyfriend talking to the guys about a football trip they were planning in October. She was upset (because she felt like she wasn't invited to the football trip) and walked out of the party. After a while he wondered where his girlfriend was. He looked around, didn't find her anywhere and called her cell several times. She didn't answer her phone. She had walked so far away, and ended up in a field. He and his friends went out looking for her and calling her name. she ignored the calls. She heard them calling for her but had fallen down in the field and had trouble getting up (because she was so drunk.) He ended up going home about 1:30 from the party and assume his girlfriend had taken a cab home. He got a call at 3:30 in the morning and it was her, not knowing where she was and how to get home, so he went and picked her up. She had been sleeping in the field until she woke up and came to her senses. She apologized over and over for her behavior, but my friend broke it off. He had planned on asking her to go on the football trip even, just hadn't talked to her about it. When she was drunk, her emotions took over. So...now this woman has been calling him and facebooking him but he has been ignoring it. One bad incident can blow it with a boyfriend (or girlfriend) so if you know that you can't handle drinking too well, try to limit it at parties. Oh also, these are highly educated people in their 40s if it makes a difference. Edited August 12, 2011 by Hot Chick
Art_Critic Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 10-1 she isn't just a lightweight and she most likely has a drinking problem. I hope your friend realizes that she could have hid her problem while they were dating and then bam.. she was around alcohol and couldn't control herself. He was right to break it off.. 4 months in and this happens.. huge..huge red flag.. Hopefully she will realize that she is a woman in her 40's that has a drinking problem and it isn't something she will out grow. This is of course only my opinion... it just doesn't smell of an amateur drinking deal.
Cee Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Oh also, these are highly educated people in their 40s if it makes a difference. Best punchline ever. :laugh:I was picturing this addled 22 year old girl lost in a field. My BF and I both have drunk stories with each other, but nothing as bad as that. We have one apiece. There was no fighting, but it was embarrassing for both of us. HIM: At a party, I saw my boyfriend drink from a beer bong and drank rum from a pineapple. He was unsteady on his feet and we went to another bar. At the bar, he poured out all his feelings to me about his insecurities and his love for me. The next day he was a little embarrassed, but it was okay. MINE: I slumped into a chair at the party having drunk an insanely strong drink. My BF had to get me and people who were my weekend houseguests home. I was mortified the next morning that my BF had to caretake me and my house guests. All was forgiven the next morning and the group of us had Pho, which is a great hangover remedy. And yes, I was 41 when I got that wasted. I'm not much better than lost-in-a-field woman.
zig Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 That's pretty extreme! I'd consider myself to have a drinking problem. But I proceed in my love for alcohol without making an ass of myself. When I drink at home, I make sure it's when my g/f is at work. When we go out together I throttle back. And I never let alcohol get in the way of work or my priorities in life. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic by definition but anyone who let's the drink interfere with daily life has a drinking problem. I've never made an ass of myself in front of other people. So your g/f behavior IMO suggests she needs to stay away from the drink.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Oh also, these are highly educated people in their 40s if it makes a difference. Sounds like another fine product of the American education system More proof that education does not imply intelligence.
ascendotum Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Yeah it does make a difference to me. I thought he was a little harsh dumping her over this, thinking the couple are in their early 20s, but this immature behaviour was from a highly educated woman in her 40s. If this guy has put up with stroppy behaviour and manipulation in his 20s + 30s, he's likely had enough. I really don't blame him for re-evaluating the relationship, given it is not a LTR yet.
Author Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Sounds like another fine product of the American education system More proof that education does not imply intelligence. Well, I don't know, a lot of intelligent people get drunk. They work in the medical field and have advanced degrees.
Author Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Yeah it does make a difference to me. I thought he was a little harsh dumping her over this, thinking the couple are in their early 20s, but this immature behaviour was from a highly educated woman in her 40s. If this guy has put up with stroppy behaviour and manipulation in his 20s + 30s, he's likely had enough. I really don't blame him for re-evaluating the relationship, given it is not a LTR yet. Yes, I don't know. You would think that if she knew she got completely wasted, she would know at that age she should stop or just have a soda or something. My friend said she had gotten really tipsy before and she had told him she was a "lightweight." So she should know better than to drink very much. Also, my friend thought she might be extremely jealous, because even though she was drunk, him chatting about planning a football trip with some guys set her off that she reacted by just disappearing from the party. He had absolutely no clue that she was upset about anything. But she hadn't shown that side of herself before. Edited August 12, 2011 by Hot Chick
zengirl Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 I never get so drunk I'm not me. But I do get mildly narcoleptic and lay down for a nap at times (like Cee's story, I guess). But I'm kind of a sleepy person at nighttime in general. I guess my friends are just used to it. I usually perk up after a quick nap. (Not in a bar or anything, but I'll go to my car to nap or nap in a house.) My last exBF got in a big fight over his behavior when he was really drunk at a party. Nothing about us, but he was a total jerk to some of the people there, saying his snarky comments too loud (it's the kind of thing he would've told me later anyway, but he said it to their faces). But that was really just him being him. I wish I would've recognized that bad behavior then and broken it off, but it wasn't as obvious as field-girl.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Well, I don't know, a lot of intelligent people get drunk. They work in the medical field and have advanced degrees. Again, confusing education and "advanced degrees" with intelligence. I also work in a field that requires "advanced degrees" and many of colleagues are total morons...for what it's worth.
Art_Critic Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 But she hadn't shown that side of herself before. HC.. they call that showing of the true colors.. 4 months in.. that is about when you start to see a person's walls come down and see who they really are..
Author Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Again, confusing education and "advanced degrees" with intelligence. I also work in a field that requires "advanced degrees" and many of colleagues are total morons...for what it's worth. I don't think this has anything to do with intelligence. She may have a problem with drinking and dating behavior but this doesn't attest to her intelligence and success at work. I don't think you could call her a total moron based on what I posted. Just because someone has trouble in an area of their lives separate from work, doesn't mean they are not intelligent and that they are total morons. Your comment would make me think moreso of yourself. Edited August 12, 2011 by Hot Chick
Enchanted Girl Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Yeah it does make a difference to me. I thought he was a little harsh dumping her over this, thinking the couple are in their early 20s, but this immature behaviour was from a highly educated woman in her 40s. If this guy has put up with stroppy behaviour and manipulation in his 20s + 30s, he's likely had enough. I really don't blame him for re-evaluating the relationship, given it is not a LTR yet. I still think he overreacted. Even if she wasn't drunk when she did this, it wasn't actually a big deal. I have worse stories about my ex and I didn't break up with him, keep in mind, he broke up with ME, where he got drunk and showed naked pictures of me to ALL HIS FRIENDS after promising to never do that and also, when I was standing with my parents and brother, he was so drunk once that he couldn't walk straight and to keep his balance, he started squeezing and holding my breasts IN FRONT OF MY FAMILY. Both experiences were mortifying. What she did was stupid, but not the end of the world. I wouldn't blame him for being mad, but I think he overreacted by breaking up with her. And this is exactly why I don't drink a lot. My boyfriend makes me drink sometimes, even though I don't want to, but I never have more than a beer. It's not because I don't enjoy the feeling, it's because . . . . . to be honest, I have two people living inside of me. I have the rational side of me and the emotional side that's completely ridiculous. My rational most of the time is good at talking me out of doing self-destructive things, but I know that will all go out the window if I get drunk. It may seem like that's the "real" side of me, but I don't consider the Id, the stupid half of me, the real side of me and I just don't want it to control me. I've never been drunk before. Never thrown up or been unable to walk, but I did get pretty far on New Year's Eve this year because everyone, including my boyfriend, were peer pressuring me and while I wasn't out of control, I started getting angry and can tell that I am by far an angry drunk and don't know why people want to try to force that side out of me. I don't think they'd like it.
Author Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 HC.. they call that showing of the true colors.. 4 months in.. that is about when you start to see a person's walls come down and see who they really are.. Yes I agree. I don't blame him for not wanting to continue a relationship with her.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 I don't think this has anything to do with intelligence. She may have a problem with drinking and dating behavior but this doesn't attest to her intelligence and success at work. I don't think you could call her a total moron based on what I posted. Just because someone has trouble in an area of their lives separate from work, doesn't mean they are not intelligent and that they are total morons. Your comment would make me think moreso of yourself. Yeah, it does. If she was 18, she could be excused for getting drunk and acting like an idiot. But being 40+, she should know what her limits are as far as alcohol consumption goes. I mean, this woman is old enough to be a grandmother....and she still gets wasted at house parties and passes out at football fileds, puking her guts out, like some highschooler? If you don't see how such behavior is indicative of low intelligence, you are likely not smartest cookie yourself...
Flipper Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Yeah, it does. If she was 18, she could be excused for getting drunk and acting like an idiot. But being 40+, she should know what her limits are as far as alcohol consumption goes. I mean, this woman is old enough to be a grandmother....and she still gets wasted at house parties and passes out at football fileds, puking her guts out, like some highschooler? If you don't see how such behavior is indicative of low intelligence, you are likely not smartest cookie yourself... Man, don't judge someone based on one incident that supposedly happened. You don't know that girl, we've all done dumb stuff
Jynxx Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Yeah, it does. If she was 18, she could be excused for getting drunk and acting like an idiot. But being 40+, she should know what her limits are as far as alcohol consumption goes. I mean, this woman is old enough to be a grandmother....and she still gets wasted at house parties and passes out at football fileds, puking her guts out, like some highschooler? If you don't see how such behavior is indicative of low intelligence, you are likely not smartest cookie yourself... FWIW self destructive behaviour and escapism are very common among highly intelligent people. Also, while I'm only mid 20s, I don't think it's a problem to get wasted on a random night in the weekend and wake up with a blackout and your shoes still on on the badroomfloor somewhere the next afternoon. It may not be socially acceptable for most people in the US, but that doesn't mean it's wrong and people who do it are retarded or immature. Scandinavians and Russians tend to abuse alcohol on a daily basis, from an early age till the end of their lives.
Author Hot Chick Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Yeah, it does. If she was 18, she could be excused for getting drunk and acting like an idiot. But being 40+, she should know what her limits are as far as alcohol consumption goes. I mean, this woman is old enough to be a grandmother....and she still gets wasted at house parties and passes out at football fileds, puking her guts out, like some highschooler? If you don't see how such behavior is indicative of low intelligence, you are likely not smartest cookie yourself... You have to have some intelligence to graduate with a Masters in Physical Therapy and work for a major hospital for several years. This is a tough field and many are turned away and they accept only top applicants. Sorry but you don't know what the hell you're talking about and you need to work on your reading comprehension skills as I didn't write that she passed out in a FOOTBALL FIELD. Also I did not write that she PUKED HER GUTS OUT. You must work as the janitor in your field where the professionals work, but then that is insulting janitors. The one I know is a very good reader. Edited August 12, 2011 by Hot Chick
thatone Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 FWIW self destructive behaviour and escapism are very common among highly intelligent people. Also, while I'm only mid 20s, I don't think it's a problem to get wasted on a random night in the weekend and wake up with a blackout and your shoes still on on the badroomfloor somewhere the next afternoon. It may not be socially acceptable for most people in the US, but that doesn't mean it's wrong and people who do it are retarded or immature. Scandinavians and Russians tend to abuse alcohol on a daily basis, from an early age till the end of their lives. i was gonna say the same thing. i mean, we have drive thru daiquiri shops down here . my sister actually had a relationship end with someone from out of town who told her she should stop drinking after so many when they went out. the knee jerk response was "how dare you tell me how much i can drink!" it's a cultural difference as much as a personal one.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Man, don't judge someone based on one incident that supposedly happened. You don't know that girl, we've all done dumb stuff A 40+ year old woman hardly classifies as a "girl". The fact that, despite her rather advanced age, she still acts like a child just goes to prove my point.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 You have to have some intelligence to graduate with a Masters in Physical Therapy and work for a major hospital for several years. This is a tough field and many are turned away and they accept only top applicants. Becoming the president of the United States is harder still but that's not to say there has never been an idiot in the oval office. You should consider changing your nickname from "Hot Chick" to Dumb Broad.
rafallus Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Again, confusing education and "advanced degrees" with intelligence. I also work in a field that requires "advanced degrees" and many of colleagues are total morons...for what it's worth.You probably got "intelligence" mixed up with "wisdom". And it would fit to what I think: she may be inteligent, but not really wise.
CambridgeGirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 A 40+ year old woman hardly classifies as a "girl". The fact that, despite her rather advanced age, she still acts like a child just goes to prove my point. Preposterous, uninformed comment. Any person, with an IQ from 80 to 180 can decide to go out, not hold themselves back and get drunk and/or then do silly things. The decision to do this cannot be linked directly to their IQ. It can be linked to their personality, fears, emotions, vices, weaknesses - whatever. But to label people over any age that you personally deem to be acceptable to be drinking more than one glass, as stupid, is quite an immature and ridiculous statement. This world has known some great minds who had bad vices, they knew it and were tortured by them, but could not control them. However, they would probably blow you away in any test they took. Try opening your mind from such fixed groundless opinions one day, now there is a thought.
amymarieca Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 This story reminds me of one of my exes. We dated for 8 years but in the last few years of our relationship he made a habit of getting stupidly drunk whenever we went somewhere that involved alcohol. Any time there was beer he would completely over-do it- parties, family barbeques, etc. He would get to the point where he would end up screaming at me, taking of his clothes in public, and puking everywhere. It was horribly embarassing. I'm not sure why I put up with it for so long, but I'm really glad your friend saw this as a red flag right away and broke it off.
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