SuperElan Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I've had a running debate with a friend (and yes, it is not me, because I like the milfs) about how young is too young. He is about 30 years old and consistently tries to date women younger than him, but not by a few years, by 10. He seems nearly infatuated with women between 17 and 21. He's even suggested he's ok with purchasing alcohol for women younger than 21. Sure, it sounds great, however, how much do a 30 year old and 20 year old have in common? I've also expressed to him that should he purchase alcohol for someone under 21, he's held liable for anything that happens to that girl, even if she assaults or injures another person. The girl could theoretically drive intoxicated and hit someone with her car and kill them, and the courts will say it's his fault. He's non-plussed. Regardless, he's convinced women without a college degree (he's quite intelligent, btw) are the sexiest things ever. I think he's barking up the wrong tree. Thoughts/comments?
Cypress25 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So he likes girls who are young, naive, uneducated, and intoxicated? That's easy: he wants a girl that he can take advantage of. He wants to be in a position of power and control. He's worried that he wouldn't be able to manipulate an intelligent, sober, adult woman. So he avoids them. Sorry to say it, but your friend is a predator.
Hazel_eyes Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Nothing. They have nothing in common. I feel a little sensitive about this age group. When I was 17 I had my world destroyed by a 32 year old man that was a predator. I was the oldest girl he ever went after, most were between 11 and 13. Lets just say it was really bad, I had to be pulled from everything and saved by my family, I had to get lots of counseling, and there were plans I was unaware of made to kidnap me. It forever changed my life Just my opinion but 17 is still a child in many ways. I didn't feel that way at the time, but I was. There is no reason for a grown man in his 30s to want a girl that age other then some sexual reason and power/ego. 17 hasn't even begun to live the life of an adult. They deep down will have nothing in common. I didn't with "my" 32 year old. He did nothing but manipulate me, and by the end had me so brainwashed that I was convinced I was going to hell if I didn't do what he said. I wasn't even allowed to pick my own clothing. No everything about this throws red flags for me. It isn't appropriate at all in my opinion and he needs to look at girls around his age. There are plenty of women in mid 20's to 30's who don't have college degrees and are plenty sexy.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So he likes girls who are young, naive, uneducated, and intoxicated? That's easy: he wants a girl that he can take advantage of. He wants to be in a position of power and control. He's worried that he wouldn't be able to manipulate an intelligent, sober, adult woman. So he avoids them. Sorry to say it, but your friend is a predator. Sounds about right to me. And he should definitely watch out with that 17 stuff or buying underage girls some alcohol. . . unless he also digs handcuffs.
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Sounds like he just wants young and illegal @ss. Sounds like a real winner.
mo mo Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So he likes girls who are young, naive, uneducated, and intoxicated? That's easy: he wants a girl that he can take advantage of. He wants to be in a position of power and control. He's worried that he wouldn't be able to manipulate an intelligent, sober, adult woman. So he avoids them. Sorry to say it, but your friend is a predator. Hahahaha like you are all so innocent. Like everyone here waited until they turned 21 to start drinking. Like no one ever had someone else buy them alcohol when they were younger. Like every uy would turn down a girl who was really good looking and was blatantly flirting with them. Yea. Everyone who indulges in any of that is a predator.
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Hahahaha like you are all so innocent. Like everyone here waited until they turned 21 to start drinking. Like no one ever had someone else buy them alcohol when they were younger. Like every uy would turn down a girl who was really good looking and was blatantly flirting with them. Yea. Everyone who indulges in any of that is a predator. A 30 year old man should be no where near a 17 year old girl. I think even 18 and 19 is pushing it.
Hazel_eyes Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) Well that is quite the generalization. I honestly never had alcohol until I was 22 and have only drank twice, never got drunk. I had a friend whose mother was killed by a drunk driver and have quite a hatred for the stuff. You shouldn't assume that just because your experience is one way that it is that way for everyone else And as an adult if someone, especially a minor, is flirting with you then it is your responsibility to nip it in the bud. That is the adult thing to do. And we aren't talking about 17 year olds flirting with him, he is actively seeking one out. There is a difference. Edited August 11, 2011 by Hazel_eyes
mo mo Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Well that is quite the generalization. I honestly never had alcohol until I was 22 and have only drank twice, never got drunk. I had a friend whose mother was killed by a drunk driver and have quite a hatred for the stuff. You shouldn't assume that just because your experience is one way that it is that way for everyone else And I would say too that the alcohol isn't the only problem in this situation, just one piece. And as an adult if someone, especially a minor, is flirting with you then it is your responsibility to nip it in the bud. That is the adult thing to do. And we aren't talking about 17 year olds flirting with him, he is actively seeking one out. There is a difference. Yea I agree that if he is seeking them out there is a problem.
Cypress25 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Hahahaha like you are all so innocent. Like everyone here waited until they turned 21 to start drinking. Like no one ever had someone else buy them alcohol when they were younger. Actually I don't drink, and I'm 25. I never had someone else buy me alcohol, because I didn't want it. And no one is saying that a 17-year-old girl is wrong for drinking. They're saying a 30-year-old man is wrong for offering to buy alcohol for underage girls. Not because they're too young to drink, but because they're too young to have sex with him. And that's obviously his goal. Like every guy would turn down a girl who was really good looking and was blatantly flirting with them. It sounds like this guy would turn down an attractive girl who was flirting with him, if she was educated, sober, and a legal adult. It's not that a young drunk girl threw herself at him, it's that he prefers girls who are young and drunk. He seeks them out.
Dust Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Hahahaha like you are all so innocent. Like everyone here waited until they turned 21 to start drinking. Like no one ever had someone else buy them alcohol when they were younger. Like every uy would turn down a girl who was really good looking and was blatantly flirting with them. Yea. Everyone who indulges in any of that is a predator. When the world tells you not to do something but you know its great go for it! Why as a friend does the OP care so much.
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I've had a running debate with a friend (and yes, it is not me, because I like the milfs) about how young is too young. He is about 30 years old and consistently tries to date women younger than him, but not by a few years, by 10. He seems nearly infatuated with women between 17 and 21. He's even suggested he's ok with purchasing alcohol for women younger than 21. Sure, it sounds great, however, how much do a 30 year old and 20 year old have in common? I've also expressed to him that should he purchase alcohol for someone under 21, he's held liable for anything that happens to that girl, even if she assaults or injures another person. The girl could theoretically drive intoxicated and hit someone with her car and kill them, and the courts will say it's his fault. He's non-plussed. Regardless, he's convinced women without a college degree (he's quite intelligent, btw) are the sexiest things ever. I think he's barking up the wrong tree. Thoughts/comments? Would you even be asking this question, if your friend was a WOMAN looking for a 17 year old boy? I bet you wouldn't..
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Hahahaha like you are all so innocent. Like everyone here waited until they turned 21 to start drinking. Like no one ever had someone else buy them alcohol when they were younger. Like every uy would turn down a girl who was really good looking and was blatantly flirting with them. Yea. Everyone who indulges in any of that is a predator. He's a 30 year old seeking them out and desiring to get them illegally drunk. The roommate who turned 21 a year before or buddy who tends bar down the street or friend who gave you their old I.D. for a fake is not doing something nearly as creepy. I drank before I was 21, but no random old guys bought me alcohol. The way he's viewing it is predatory.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Nothing. They have nothing in common. I feel a little sensitive about this age group. When I was 17 I had my world destroyed by a 32 year old man that was a predator. I was the oldest girl he ever went after, most were between 11 and 13. Lets just say it was really bad, I had to be pulled from everything and saved by my family, I had to get lots of counseling, and there were plans I was unaware of made to kidnap me. It forever changed my life Just my opinion but 17 is still a child in many ways. I didn't feel that way at the time, but I was. There is no reason for a grown man in his 30s to want a girl that age other then some sexual reason and power/ego. 17 hasn't even begun to live the life of an adult. They deep down will have nothing in common. I didn't with "my" 32 year old. He did nothing but manipulate me, and by the end had me so brainwashed that I was convinced I was going to hell if I didn't do what he said. I wasn't even allowed to pick my own clothing. No everything about this throws red flags for me. It isn't appropriate at all in my opinion and he needs to look at girls around his age. There are plenty of women in mid 20's to 30's who don't have college degrees and are plenty sexy. You had a negative experience with an older man, we get it. That doesn't mean that every man who likes younger women is a 'predator'. That's ludicrous. Women in the 17-21 range are in their prime physically, so it's natural to find them more attractive than older women. They also haven't yet been sufficiently brainwashed with the crap that passes for "education" these days and don't carry the bitterness that comes with multiple failed relationships. That's also attractive. In the past, it would have been highly unusual for a woman to remain unmarried by the age of 20. There was a good reason for that.
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Women in the 17-21 range are in their prime physically, so it's natural to find them more attractive than older women. They also haven't yet been sufficiently brainwashed with the crap that passes for "education" these days and don't carry the bitterness that comes with multiple failed relationships. all I have to say to this is - LOL.
Dust Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Would you even be asking this question, if your friend was a WOMAN looking for a 17 year old boy? I bet you wouldn't.. Theres this movie series about a man over a hundred years old who looks like a teenager and dates a teenager. Lots of people think its romantic its called “twighlight.” Now vapires who are old but look young and hot of course don’t exist. The thing is if you’re 30 or 40 or 50 or what ever age and you like young girls and they like you back well there is nothing stopping you. Young girls will be weary of older men, the thing is some will find them hot. Nothing we a society can do to step in. I know plenty of boys/men who are young and pure evil. So to say that being with a man in some society approved age bracket will some how fix things is very silly.
Cee Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I'm suspicious of anyone, man or woman, who insists on always dating older or younger. It's a big world out there with a delicious array of ages, shapes, sizes, and colors. Why not sample them all?
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 You had a negative experience with an older man, we get it. That doesn't mean that every man who likes younger women is a 'predator'. That's ludicrous. Women in the 17-21 range are in their prime physically, so it's natural to find them more attractive than older women. They also haven't yet been sufficiently brainwashed with the crap that passes for "education" these days and don't carry the bitterness that comes with multiple failed relationships. That's also attractive. In the past, it would have been highly unusual for a woman to remain unmarried by the age of 20. There was a good reason for that. Seriously- Thinking someone is attractive is one thing. Going after it is another. The brainwash comment is ridiculous so I'm gonna leave it at that. But they have no bitterness because they have no experience! They are naive and gullible. If a grown man goes after a woman for being naive and gullible, that in my opinion makes him a predator.
youngskywalker Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 how much do a 30 year old and 20 year old have in common? I can think of a few men in their 30's that have the maturity of an average 20 y.o. woman. I know that's not what you're getting at though. There is nothing wrong with and age difference of 30-20 in the right circumstances. The circumstances that you described doesn't even come close. Not only does it sound ethically wrong but it's breaking the law.
ptp Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Look I get why a guy would be attracted to a younger woman in terms of physical attraction. Younger women are usually more desirable than older ones from an evolutionary/child bearing stand point. Having said that someone that young IMO in that age range a person changes quite a bit and thus is still becoming who they are. While someone in their 30s is more or less who they are going to be. I personally don't see the appeal.
Feelsgoodman Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 all I have to say to this is - LOL. It's okay, I won't hold it against you. Expressing your thoughts clearly with words and sentences is not easy and probably too much to expect from a product of the modern American "education system".
youngskywalker Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Look I get why a guy would be attracted to a younger woman in terms of physical attraction. Having said that someone that young IMO in that age range a person changes quite a bit and thus is still becoming who they are. While someone in their 30s is more or less who they are going to be. I personally don't see the appeal. You've answered your own question. There are men who never grow up so they don't have any problem with dating women who are immature or maturing.
youngskywalker Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 It's okay, I won't hold it against you. Expressing your thoughts clearly with words and sentences is not easy and probably too much to expect from a product of the modern American "education system". What a lame insult.
Author SuperElan Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Ok, I should clarify, a touch (although to me it doesn't matter). He doesn't necessarily ACTIVELY seek them. Sometimes they seek him. However, I've told him it doesn't matter, he's the older person and he's supposed to be the mature one. It's not like two teenagers losing their virginities to each other, or smoking pot behind the high school. I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger, fireworks, drinking before I was 21, etc. ****, I've done some stupid **** sorta recently (2 years ago). But I like to think I've cleaned myself up and I haven't engaged in that same activity since. My point is that it's not a contest to see how long you can go engaging in immature behavior. We're both about 30 and I'd like for him to date age appropriate women, regardless of whether or not they come to him or he goes to them.
CatNtheHat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 It's okay, I won't hold it against you. Expressing your thoughts clearly with words and sentences is not easy and probably too much to expect from a product of the modern American "education system". do you like em young or something?
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