lonelynyc Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I'm here because I recently discovered accidentally (really, not lying) that my ex has started an online dating profile. I honestly didn't think it would be her style to do something like that, but I guess we never know them fully until we're no longer with them. The thing is, we've been broken up since July 4th but she often initiated contact with me after that and we had been behaving very relationship-like literally the week before I saw the profile. It read like a well-thought out profile that really expressed her interests and what she's about in a nutshell, so I'm convinced she's serious about the whole online dating thing. Even though I'm in the process of reconciling myself to the idea that we're not getting back together, I still love her a lot and NC (only 3 days in this latest go-round) has been tough. I am coming to terms with the fact that soon she could very well have a new man in her life. How did you guys (LS community) react the first time you saw your ex that you still harbored strong feelings for with someone else? How should I prepare myself for the inevitable?
antinko Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Happened to me yesterday! Please see this thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t291815/ Basically, the best thing to do, if you see them in person, is to act cool and try being upbeat. As you'll see in the linked thread, if you read it, I was struggling, and I mean it...struggling to remain civil. I even think it was quite obvious I wasn't impressed even though I was masking it because I don't hide emotions easily. Anyway, try your best to be polite and move out of the way asap. I couldn't move on because my friends were there too and I didn't want to ruin their night out, but neither did my ex move on until later either... It feels like a physical kick to the gut. One thing I didn't mention is that, just before going in (I was behind her), I was having a bit of a quiet 'moment' (tantrum) behind them - I hung back until I was 'composed', then went in properly. I don't think she saw me being pissed... If she did, though, screw it: she knows how much she hurt me. Let her feel awkward. In short, try your best not to look like you care too much... I hope I don't see her again with another person. Tbh, I don't even want to see her again unless she's crawling back to me on the floor begging...
lvm Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I reactivated my online dating profile after my last breakup. Try not to think very much about it. It is not always a sign that she has "moved on". Perhaps she has, but also maybe not. With that said, I sympathize with how hard it is! Yes, it is likely that she is very serious about it regardless of if she is ready. Being serious and being ready are two different things. I've definitely had a few times myself when I started dating that through it I found that I wasn't at all in that place. Meeting someone doesn't make you "ready" for dating; that's something that's on a heart's schedule regardless of our actions.
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