arbrne_vet Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 August 11, 2011 This is my entrance to my exit. The door opening, exiting one place, entering a new. Letting go, NC, whatever it may be called. I feel really sad, down, bummed out, yet not depressed, and have some sense of a new beginning. Have taken this week off lifting. big event this weekend. Will hit things hard starting monday. Trying to get my bench back up to 300 lbs. Not sure if i can hit it again, but will love the challenge it brings. i have many things going for me, and few against me. i will be concentrating on the many things i have. I have packed up everything that reminds me of "her". i deleted her name from my phone, deleted her family members from my phone. threw away the dried rose that has been on my shelf since winter. Several other things i have packed away. The last thing i have to take care of is a gift card to a local restaurant that we were given for Christmas. I have been waiting for "us" to use it for a special occasion. Well, that special occasion is tonight, and i will be taking my son out to dinner. I guess it really does become so much easier when you accept the end, and that it really is the end. Part of me wants to cry, part of me is excited for what is to come. I know one thing, the hurt, the lonely nights, the wondering if she will come see me, if she will explode and go crazy, etc, etc, etc, has ended. These things will no longer happen. That is a good thing. 'If a man were to know the end of this day's business ere it come; But it suffice that the day will end, and then the end is known. If we meet again, well then we'll smile, and if not then this parting was well made.' De Oppresso Libre
Author arbrne_vet Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 August 12, 2011. I feel really really pissed off today, and am not quite sure. Not a violent pissed, just pissed. Maybe i am pissed because i have put up with this crap for so long, i don't know. anyway...... took my son out to eat with the gift card, his gf wanted to come along, so we went and got her. nice place. i had all you can eat ribs.... oh my, it was sooooo good! had a great time, good conversation with my son and his gf. got a call this morning. have to be in a parade tonight for this weekends big event. don't really want to go, but am part of the team, so i will be there. looking forward to tomorrow!
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