arbrne_vet Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I was directed on here to read some of 'downtown's posts. i was amazed, relieved, saddened by what i read. it was her. 99% of it. The six months or so were unbelievable, the next couple years were great. the past 10 months have been HELL! I have been waiting for the old "her" to come back, and after reading all of this, i realize she never was. I have seen snipets here and there of her the past 10 months. after reading what i have, i know she never was there. this woman went from an angel to a horrible horrible person. she did things and said such nasty horrible things to me. i saw this "angel" throw things across the room, accuse me of cheating on her, break things in front of me, hit me, and then the next day act as if nothing has happened. NEVER in the past almost 4 years of this relationship has she EVER once apologized to me for anything she has done. it has been all my fault, or i made her do it. I felt as if i have been loosing my mind. i have done everything i can do to try to make her happy, and NOTHING works. i could never understand why. Sooooooo...... it all makes sense to me now. i have started NC and am not sure if i will ever hear from her again or not. I miss her, i still love her, will probably never be as close to someone as i was her, but it is time for me to accept reality, and move on. I have read several of downtown's posts, and have to read them over and over to pull myself away from the 'tar baby' so to speak. My son has even made comments about how immature she is, and the child like things she says. I am relieved, yet sad. I know now it was not all my fault. yes, i can look at myself and say what i have done wrong, but she never could. Thanks for reading.
Nohbody Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Perspective changes over time. Not unusual to blame yourself, then blame the other person, then find some middle ground. So it goes.
Mack05 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Downtown is top class. Glad you enjoyed his posts
Author arbrne_vet Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3398735#post3398735
NursingGirl Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Thanks. Oh, it's about BPD. Yep, very resistant to change!
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