counterman Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 So I had my first date today with that girl who rescheduled on me. It went alright, we clicked well and she let slip a few times that she'll see me "next time". Overall, I thought she was interested. It was a short date and I didn't want to rush anything because she had something important to head to afterwards, so I just gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I told her I was going to call her later that night. I called her a moment ago and it went to VM but I didn't leave a message. Now, I don't want people to slam me for calling too soon because I don't believe in stupid rules. I'm very interested in her and that's that. I'm pretty sure she would see my call...so should I call her again in a few days, leave a message or just let her contact me?
YoungT Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Bro, I'm same way. But rules are there for a reason, Not just for her but you as well. She will loose interest if she finds you to easy. If she doesn't feel to earn your affection or earn your interest she will drop you. Wait at least a week before trying again.
oaks Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I told her I was going to call her later that night. I called her a moment ago and it went to VM but I didn't leave a message. Now, I don't want people to slam me for calling too soon because I don't believe in stupid rules. I'm very interested in her and that's that. You said you would call, and you did. That's more important than any silly rules. She probably looked at her phone in panic "omg he's calling me!" and failed to answer it. I'm pretty sure she would see my call...so should I call her again in a few days, leave a message or just let her contact me? Call tomorrow if she doesn't call first, and be prepared to leave a message this time even if it's just "I said I would call. I enjoyed our date. Call me when you're able to."
Author counterman Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Bro, I'm same way. But rules are there for a reason, Not just for her but you as well. She will loose interest if she finds you to easy. If she doesn't feel to earn your affection or earn your interest she will drop you. Wait at least a week before trying again. Yeah, that's what frustrates me - that if you show interest, she might think I'm easy. I would say based on how our date went I don't think she'll think she I'm easy but of course I can't be sure. Maybe she thinks that she showed a bit too much interest in the date and is trying to play harder to get... who knows. I'll go with that, I'll give it a week and in the meanwhile I'm moving on, unless she gets back to me.
Author counterman Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 You said you would call, and you did. That's more important than any silly rules. She probably looked at her phone in panic "omg he's calling me!" and failed to answer it. Call tomorrow if she doesn't call first, and be prepared to leave a message this time even if it's just "I said I would call. I enjoyed our date. Call me when you're able to." Thanks. I don't like to muck around. I mean, we did have fun and she was laughing a lot and really opening up. She seemed a little nervous but still. Haha, that would be really cute if she did panic It's a bit weird in the sense that the couple of times I met her and the one time I was on the phone with her, she was her usual warm self and honestly, I expect her to pick up or at least return when I call. Another reason could be that she shares a room with other people and I might have called her when everyone was there. Who knows. I'll leave a message next time I call her. I have other things to do, sometimes it sucks that I think about her.
Author counterman Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Just be yourself. If she doesn't like you because you're too "easy" or whatever then it is what it is. Don't try to be someone else. Yep, that's me and if she thinks it's too easy, then she can date someone else. Plenty of other girls to date.
Cypress25 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Maybe she just missed your call. It happens. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7. Sometimes people call me when I'm in the shower. Or when I'm at the gym. Or when I'm busy at work. Or when I'm in the other room and didn't hear the phone ring. Or when I'm in the elevator and my phone has no signal. That's why voicemail was invented. Honestly, some people are so impatient.
Author counterman Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Maybe she just missed your call. It happens. Not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7. Sometimes people call me when I'm in the shower. Or when I'm at the gym. Or when I'm busy at work. Or when I'm in the other room and didn't hear the phone ring. Or when I'm in the elevator and my phone has no signal. That's why voicemail was invented. Honestly, some people are so impatient. Maybe, I was a bit impatient. Sorry, I'm a bit inexperienced with all this... having not dating in a while. What do you suggest I do? Just wait?
Cypress25 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 What do you suggest I do? Just wait? That sounds like a great idea! Give her a chance to return your call. I'm sure she'll call you back as soon as she has a chance.
Casablanca Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 I wouldn't have called her this soon, especially if she had plans tonight...as long as you don't bombard her with calls and texts one phone call this soon isn't going to screw up your chances...she has already either decided she wants to see you again or not and the only way to screw it up if she wants to see you again is to keep pestering her. Call tomorrow if she doesn't call first, and be prepared to leave a message this time even if it's just "I said I would call. I enjoyed our date. Call me when you're able to." This is what I would do
Author counterman Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 I wouldn't have called her this soon, especially if she had plans tonight...as long as you don't bombard her with calls and texts one phone call this soon isn't going to screw up your chances...she has already either decided she wants to see you again or not and the only way to screw it up if she wants to see you again is to keep pestering her. This is what I would do That's a mistake I made, I assumed that she was free that night. The parting of ways was kind of rushed towards the end because she had somewhere to get to urgently, so I didn't get to ask her what time would be good for me to call her. I think calling the day after (today) would have been better. I've learnt that the hard way. I pestered another girl once...and it got me nowhere. Plus, it must have been annoying to her. Now with this girl, she's been really responsive each time I've spoken to her and I really enjoyed talking to her. It was effortless. I would call her today but it is a Friday, she might have plans and the weekend is coming up. I have a lot of things to do as well...
Author counterman Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Well, I'm about to head out soon and it's been a day since the date. I'm not going to contact her today... I want to give her every possible chance to contact me. If she doesn't get back to be by Sunday, I will give her another call and if it goes to VM, I will drop a message.
Author counterman Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Actually, I will call her and leave a message. I don't want to go through any emotional crap the next couple of days.
Professor X Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Actually, I will call her and leave a message. I don't want to go through any emotional crap the next couple of days. Like that will help.. You will go through the "emotional crap" either way, just that in one scenario you will show some restraint and won't come off as desperate. I promise you will be thinking about why she's isn't calling you back until she actually does.
Author counterman Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Like that will help.. You will go through the "emotional crap" either way, just that in one scenario you will show some restraint and won't come off as desperate. I promise you will be thinking about why she's isn't calling you back until she actually does. True, I will agree with you there. So what do you suggest?
Professor X Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Just wait a day or 2. And those "rules" you speak of, are there for a reason, a good reason.. They are for guys like you who don't really know how things work (not trying to be condescending). You must agree, if you call her every hour you will seem desperate, right? This will blow your chances with her - this is why you wait. Besides, you barely know each other, some space is a must.
Author counterman Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 Just wait a day or 2. And those "rules" you speak of, are there for a reason, a good reason.. They are for guys like you who don't really know how things work (not trying to be condescending). You must agree, if you call her every hour you will seem desperate, right? This will blow your chances with her - this is why you wait. Besides, you barely know each other, some space is a must. No, I understand - I will admit that I am inexperienced. My experiences vary in terms of calling after the first date. There were only a couple of girls I called later that night of the first date: one was my ex-girlfriend and the other is this girl. But for future experiences, I will call the day after if I am really interested and not on the day. I agree but it would look really desperate. I will stick to my original plan. If she doesn't get back to me by Sunday, I will call. If it goes to VM, I'll leave a message. If she doesn't get back to me, I would have already asked another girl out. In a way, it's probably best if things aren't too rushed. The last few dates I had were with girls that I ended up not being very interested in or attracted to. This girl and I really click but yeah, I will wait and give us some space. It's healthier too.
Author counterman Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Tomorrow I'm gonna be busy with work but I figure I'll give her a call. If it leads to VM, which I think it will, what should I say? Should I mention about wanting to see her again?
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Rules are stupid. In a caller I.D. world, it's kind of stupid to call and not leave a message too, though. Almost every BF I've had (and I'm not a needy contact-happy girl; I don't even LIKE constant daily contact, whereas some of these LS girls DEMAND it, mind you) has called me relatively quickly after each date to set up a new one. Any guy who said he'd call and waited 3 days would be tossed out---unless there was a good reason for his waiting (like he went away or something) because game-playing is stupid. You call, you leave a message, she returns, you set something up. It's not complicated. Anyone who thinks you're needy for calling when you said you would call is a moron. The most important rule in dating: Do what you say you will. I also agree with everything oaks said below: You said you would call, and you did. That's more important than any silly rules. She probably looked at her phone in panic "omg he's calling me!" and failed to answer it. Call tomorrow if she doesn't call first, and be prepared to leave a message this time even if it's just "I said I would call. I enjoyed our date. Call me when you're able to." Re: What to say in VM "Hey, this is "counterman" -- I enjoyed our date and wanted to catch up again. Give me a call back when you get a chance." Or something equivalent. Don't try to be cute or ramble on. Just ask for a call back, which is what you want.
Author counterman Posted August 13, 2011 Author Posted August 13, 2011 Rules are stupid. In a caller I.D. world, it's kind of stupid to call and not leave a message too, though. Almost every BF I've had (and I'm not a needy contact-happy girl; I don't even LIKE constant daily contact, whereas some of these LS girls DEMAND it, mind you) has called me relatively quickly after each date to set up a new one. Any guy who said he'd call and waited 3 days would be tossed out---unless there was a good reason for his waiting (like he went away or something) because game-playing is stupid. You call, you leave a message, she returns, you set something up. It's not complicated. Anyone who thinks you're needy for calling when you said you would call is a moron. The most important rule in dating: Do what you say you will. I also agree with everything oaks said below: Re: What to say in VM "Hey, this is "counterman" -- I enjoyed our date and wanted to catch up again. Give me a call back when you get a chance." Or something equivalent. Don't try to be cute or ramble on. Just ask for a call back, which is what you want. Thanks for your reply! The reason I didn't leave a VM in my first call was because I didn't expect it to go VM, which is silly on my part. Something I will learn from for next time. I agree with what you say, I don't like game-playing or waiting a certain amount of days to call someone I'm interested in. I actually told her I was going to call her that night because it was relevant to what she was in a rush to and etc. I was wondering, do girls run through the date with their friends sometime after the date on that day? Thanks for the VM message, I'll drop something similar tomorrow.
zengirl Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Thanks for your reply! The reason I didn't leave a VM in my first call was because I didn't expect it to go VM, which is silly on my part. Something I will learn from for next time. I agree with what you say, I don't like game-playing or waiting a certain amount of days to call someone I'm interested in. I actually told her I was going to call her that night because it was relevant to what she was in a rush to and etc. I was wondering, do girls run through the date with their friends sometime after the date on that day? Thanks for the VM message, I'll drop something similar tomorrow. Some girls do. I don't tend to call anyone right away to run through it, though the next time I see my friends I might do so (generally female friends; my male friends and I sometimes talk about our dating lives, sure, but we rarely do run-throughs; that's more a girl thing). I might send a text to a friend or post a happy FB status if I had a really good date. The extent to which girls run down or analyze dates varies a lot from girl to girl, IMO.
Author counterman Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Alright, I called her today and left a VM. Now that I think about it, I might have been a little selfish. She is busy job-hunting and she must be feeling stressed about it... I wish I had been more understanding Is there anyway I can let her know that I care more about her finding a job than me dating her? I should have seen it earlier but was too caught up in my own world that I forgot hers.
Professor X Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Alright, I called her today and left a VM. Now that I think about it, I might have been a little selfish. She is busy job-hunting and she must be feeling stressed about it... I wish I had been more understanding Is there anyway I can let her know that I care more about her finding a job than me dating her? I should have seen it earlier but was too caught up in my own world that I forgot hers. To late. Just wait now.
Author counterman Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 I'll focus on my work and talk to other girls, if she calls me back, good, if she doesn't, oh well. It's a shame cause it's been a while since I really clicked with someone but doesn't mean it won't happen with someone else!
Author counterman Posted August 17, 2011 Author Posted August 17, 2011 Okay, it has been 3 days since I last called her and she sent me a text today... Basically she apologised because her week has been busy with job interviews and working out what to do with her offers, she also added she had lots of fun with me and that she enjoys making new "friends". Now, I was happy to hear from her I must admit and happy to hear that she's doing well job-wise but friends? I don't know. I kind of feel this pang. Was I just friendzoned? I mean, I made it clear that I was interested in her...with the date and all. What should I do?
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