Felixtheecat Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I consider myself a hopeless romantic and it feels great when in a relationship. I can swear that it might not be worth the hurt in a breakup though. My ex broke up with me 3 1/2 months ago. I found out from her this week that she's dating people now which made me decide to just let her go. What bothers me is that she says she still loves me, believes in my ability to work on my issues and resolve them, sees all the good in the relationship we had, but doesn't think that we'll ever work out. She just doesn't see the fault in logic there when I mention it. I'm not trying to make this a thread worthy of being in the break up section, but a lot of times I wish I could just abandon my hopeless romanticism. It certainly isn't helping my current situation. I guess all I can rely on is the old saying that if you let something go and it comes back... What do you folks about about hopeless romanticism? Truest route to happiness in a relationship or fast track to strife?
rafallus Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 hopeless romanticism Care to elaborate, what you specifically mean by that?
Author Felixtheecat Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Essentially I define it as someone who is absolutely in love with the notion of a loving kind nurturing relationship. Very story bookish or of fairy tales. Believing in the possibility of "true love". Perhaps almost seeing love as a metaphysical force that can change things. Maybe even more simply put, someone who isn't cynical when it comes to love or romance. This definition isn't definitive. Just my interpretation
babyygirllhi Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I consider myself a hopeless romantic and it feels great when in a relationship. I can swear that it might not be worth the hurt in a breakup though. My ex broke up with me 3 1/2 months ago. I found out from her this week that she's dating people now which made me decide to just let her go. What bothers me is that she says she still loves me, believes in my ability to work on my issues and resolve them, sees all the good in the relationship we had, but doesn't think that we'll ever work out. She just doesn't see the fault in logic there when I mention it. I'm not trying to make this a thread worthy of being in the break up section, but a lot of times I wish I could just abandon my hopeless romanticism. It certainly isn't helping my current situation. I guess all I can rely on is the old saying that if you let something go and it comes back... What do you folks about about hopeless romanticism? Truest route to happiness in a relationship or fast track to strife? Gah, im a hopeless romantic and its only gotten me in trouble Well, i shouldnt say that, however i let myself go completely with a guy who wasnt ready nad it just BIT ME in the ass! Starting to think its best to be a bit logical rather than living in a fairytale all the time ... read mine and give any advice? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t291899/
Edition Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 A few things come to mind... You defined what a "hopeless romantic" is, but I still might misinterpret this, so please correct me if I'm off the mark somewhere. You claim that being a hopeless romantic is something that you want to rid yourself of, but your definition sounded more like a textbook definition than it is your own personal one (even though you said it was your own, I guess it was tough to follow). Do you feel that putting your 100% into the relationship just gets you burned every time? If so, I know that tough. But I'll tell you that marriage is nothing less of 100% from both partners, otherwise there are issues. If you see "hopeless romanticism" as giving it your all, keep doing that! Complacency in a relationship is never a good thing to have. If you are charging head first into relationships hoping for true love and not evaluating the qualities of the person you're with, you are making a mistake every time. If the excitement of a new relationship compels you to bypass any type of filter that you have (known as standards), then you really need to assess yourself and ask yourself what is it that you want in a relationship. Being picky and possibly waiting longer for a quality relationship could be the last time you'll ever have to wait.
Author Felixtheecat Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 A few things come to mind... You defined what a "hopeless romantic" is, but I still might misinterpret this, so please correct me if I'm off the mark somewhere. You claim that being a hopeless romantic is something that you want to rid yourself of, but your definition sounded more like a textbook definition than it is your own personal one (even though you said it was your own, I guess it was tough to follow). Do you feel that putting your 100% into the relationship just gets you burned every time? If so, I know that tough. But I'll tell you that marriage is nothing less of 100% from both partners, otherwise there are issues. If you see "hopeless romanticism" as giving it your all, keep doing that! Complacency in a relationship is never a good thing to have. If you are charging head first into relationships hoping for true love and not evaluating the qualities of the person you're with, you are making a mistake every time. If the excitement of a new relationship compels you to bypass any type of filter that you have (known as standards), then you really need to assess yourself and ask yourself what is it that you want in a relationship. Being picky and possibly waiting longer for a quality relationship could be the last time you'll ever have to wait. I couldn't really find a official definition online so i'm pleased to hear that my definition came across as "textbook". I've never been married, but always assumed that what you said about 100% was the case. I'm not trying to rid myself of my mindset (yet anyway), but I have my doubts about it at times. I think to be a hopeless romantic is to almost believe in something like "God" or ghosts. Even though we can't directly see it, it's power is practically tangible. As I said before, I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship with my ex (not the longest, but long enough too be very serious). Before dating her we were best friends. I know I still love her and she said she still loves me, but she doesn't think that we can ever work as a couple even if we address our baggage. She broke up with me 3 1/2 months ago and i've carried on emotionally in my hopes of reconciling with her. When she admitted to me that she was seeing other people I gave up. I lost hope. It's too painful and i'm too tired to carry on believing in the power of our love right now. I've never been short on work ethic when it came to love. I am so afraid and hurt to reach for her at this point though that it made me question my hopeless romanticism. The ironic part at this point is that really the only effort I can make at getting her back is no effort. Letting her go, which i'm well aware has no guarantees. Where i'm at, at this point is that the test of time apart really will prove to me whether our love for each other and hopeless romanticism can overcome all odds.
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