Cursive Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Thanks in advance for reading into my situation. I've known this guy for years; l met him in elementary school, he is a old friends brother. Now we are in our late 20’s… Long story short, always liked this guy, we've always talked, a couple years ago, our talking turned into something more serious, and although i was dating someone seriously as in living with him and all, i started to fall for him, hard. I ended up leaving by boyfriend at the time, and my friend and i started dating soon after, we dated for a few months, and I freaked out about the whole situation thinking it was too soon, and not what i wanted and ended up leaving him too (surprise surprise) he was really upset and asked for me be back with him, and i was immature and was harsh to stress my point, even not allowing a friendship between the two of us. Now... two years later we started talking again, we discussed our favorite bands and he mentioned one of these bands was going to be in town, and then later on reminded me that they were going to sold out, as it was a small venue. A girlfriend and I decided to go to the show, the same day of the show; he asked me if i wanted to catch up in person, i told him i was going to the show, and we ended up seeing each other, and he was awkward.. he did go to the show with a few girls, and I don’t think anything was going on with him and any of them, as I asked and he mentioned he had a history with one of them. I was frustrated that we weren’t able to talk and I pulled him aside after the show, the girls got tired of waiting, and he told them to go on without him, and we ended up spending some time him after the show, and we talked and caught up.( im afraid I was too open about my feelings for him during this time) we have been texting causally through text, and I think I've been the one initiating contact more than him..Today i asked him if i could talk him up on his offer from earlier and he mentioned he had plans. I told him ball was in his court, and let me know when he was free and he never responded..? I'm confused as i still have very strong feelings for him... and his signals are confusing me .. I must admit I’m use to having the upper hand in the game of pursuit in relationships, and I’m feeling pretty freaking vulnerable and trying to let him know im interested and having a hard hard time reading him. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
AHardDaysNight Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 It sounds like he's not too keen on the relationship. I would back off a little bit.
DuskCrush Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Back off immediately ....your come across as too agressive and stalkerish. Talk to a new guy ...it will balance you out. Goodluck.
thatone Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 your control/insecurity issues drove him away the first time. you blew it. he's not going to chase you, forget it.
Author Cursive Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 I appreciate the feedback, although a bit harsh, I agree with you all. I am going to back off, I deleted his number from my phone to help with temptation. I wish the situation was different and I would have learned my lesson earlier but it's just not the way it played out.
Imajerk17 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Sounds to me that you're getting what you deserve...
FitChick Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 His signals are clear to me. He's not interested. Men are simple creatures. If they are interested in you, they will call, email, ask you out, no matter how busy they are or what time zone they are in.
rightfield Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 His signals are clear to me. He's not interested. Men are simple creatures. If they are interested in you, they will call, email, ask you out, no matter how busy they are or what time zone they are in. We sure are! Exactly right.
thatone Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 His signals are clear to me. He's not interested. Men are simple creatures. If they are interested in you, they will call, email, ask you out, no matter how busy they are or what time zone they are in. for awhile, but if women respond like the OP did they will be gone. I must admit I’m use to having the upper hand in the game of pursuit in relationships, and I’m feeling pretty freaking vulnerable and trying to let him know im interested and having a hard hard time reading him. this is where your problem stems from. men are attracted to confident women just like women are attracted to confident men. as long as your insecurity demands that you think you're in control by playing head games with the men you meet, you're never going to find one that you're happy with. sure, you'll find some that will chase for awhile, but after they get sex they'll be looking elsewhere.
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Hmm. I'm not convinced that he's totally not interested, BUT you sound like you may have been a wee bit aggressive with him and may have been off-putting. He may also be remembering how you treated him in the past and hesitant to go there again. You put the ball firmly in his court. It's up to him to rally it back. Do not contact him again.
Author Cursive Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 Star gazer - I agree with you that I may have been a bit more aggressive than he was ready for, when we did talk, he wrote me back often and in depth so thats where my confusion stems, but I'm glad that I told him where I stand and if he wishes to contact me than he can. If nothing else, I've learned alot.
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