rafallus Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 i was poking fun and calling her out about never calling me back and cutting me off. i probably did sink the battleship with that one though.It's very easy to come across very differently than you intended to, if texting/talking online (no in-person contact does that). Sassy humor is especially prone to that. Learned the hard way.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 dude, she was all over you and you acted disinterested. you told her to meet you at the bar to hang out and then you left. she texted you often at the onset and you let the days go by and did nothing. she moved on and right now she is with some other guy that did not procrastinate. Yes, if I were her, I'd have come to the same conclusion as you did above. Even if I didn't have another guy to fall back on I'd take it I wasn't his first choice and probably move on regardless.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 It's very easy to come across very differently than you intended to, if texting/talking online (no in-person contact does that). Sassy humor is especially prone to that. Learned the hard way. I will quickly ditch a man who talks about 'type' or shows even a hint of possessiveness... ESPECIALLY if he has been jerking my chain on reciprocation. "It feels like, hey, I don't need to be there for you, but you are supposed to be there for me when it is convenient..." Nothing gets a guy a boot faster than that attitude.
Professor X Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Way to much beating around the bush here...
Imajerk17 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 A lack of leadership on your part. You needed to set the date on the first time you and she talked on the phone. And it needed to be at a different place than the bar the two of you met. Your text "From cuteness to coldness..." actually sounded bitter.
Author fetish1980 Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 i think everyone is really misunderstanding here. i sent that text: from cuteness to coldness after a whole 10 days had passed since i last called and talked to her. She said she'd call me right back once getting out of the drive thru and never did. I don't see how i didn't show leadership when i suggested the place where we could go and hang out. She works odd hours at CPS. She wasn't easy to get a hold of. We kept playing phone tag with eachother. I have a job too! fetish
Professor X Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I don't see how i didn't show leadership when i suggested the place where we could go and hang out. She works odd hours at CPS. She wasn't easy to get a hold of. We kept playing phone tag with eachother. I have a job too! fetish The whole point of waiting the first 2-3 days after getting her phone number is to show that you are not desperate.. Thing is, she broke it by texting you the next day. That should have been your queue to just go for it, she came on strong and you didn't bite. You were just beating around the bush way to much son... Way to much. Sometimes, when the moment present itself, you just forget the rules and go cease it.
Author fetish1980 Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 thanks professor X for your point of view. I still think everyone is misinterpreting what really happened. I called myself going for it, i just didn't have a solid plan in mind yet because there's alot to this city that i'm unfamiliar with. I guess i can say i learned several lessons on this one though. 1. Always have a solid plan, date, and meeting place (not just simply suggesting a date without a solid one in mind). 2. Always be available to answer my phone when they call (even if i'm at work or at the gym) sarcastic;). 3. Don't hold a phone conversation longer than 10 minutes no matter how well the conversation "seems" to be going. Save it all for the date. 4. Don't try to poke fun her ways trying to get a rise out of her to respond to you. It's not everyday that a hot chick goes out of her way to talk to me. I guess i've had to accept that this is just one that just got away. I know there's other fish out there but this opportunity may not present itself for me again and now all i can do is kick my own a$$ for it. fetish
rafallus Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I called myself going for it, i just didn't have a solid plan in mind yet because there's alot to this city that i'm unfamiliar with. And this is why I called it wishy-washy. Either you make specific plans or not. Don't beat around the bush as others said.
Imajerk17 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) thanks professor X for your point of view. I still think everyone is misinterpreting what really happened. I called myself going for it, i just didn't have a solid plan in mind yet because there's alot to this city that i'm unfamiliar with. I guess i can say i learned several lessons on this one though. 1. Always have a solid plan, date, and meeting place (not just simply suggesting a date without a solid one in mind). 2. Always be available to answer my phone when they call (even if i'm at work or at the gym) sarcastic;). 3. Don't hold a phone conversation longer than 10 minutes no matter how well the conversation "seems" to be going. Save it all for the date. 4. Don't try to poke fun her ways trying to get a rise out of her to respond to you. It's not everyday that a hot chick goes out of her way to talk to me. I guess i've had to accept that this is just one that just got away. I know there's other fish out there but this opportunity may not present itself for me again and now all i can do is kick my own a$$ for it. fetish Well, yes to 1, not really to 2, not necessarily to 3, and go about it a different way (if it gets to that point) to 4. Waiting a few days to call since you met actually wasn't bad--you were busy. I'd say that you made your big mistake was really, all these back-and-forths without getting a second date set up. You had a prime chance the first phone conversation. There was also a blown chance that time you were "trying" to meet each other at that bar a second time. Put all of these together and well, you know... Edited August 11, 2011 by Imajerk17
Author fetish1980 Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) Thanks Imajerk for your reply, What people don't realize is that there was no reason for the back and forth. She was as much to blame for that as i was. When she texted me that first day after the night we met, i tried to get her to come out to a lounge with me (that night), but she said she was going to stay in for the night. The next day, she texted me while i was at work just saying "Happy Sunday" I texted her back saying "Happy Sunday! I'm going to call you later tonight". She replied " Cool". I called her that night, no answer. The next day (that monday), i shot her a text syaing" Good morning Ms. Lady. How are you? Did you see where i tried to call you last night?" I had a meeting to be the next early morning so i missed her text at 10:00p that night saying " Hey, are you sleep?" I didn't get it until the next morning. Long story short, the next day, was when i finally got a hold of her and that was the 45 minute conversation. I know i asked for perspective and i appreciate it all, but i'm just chalking this one up as that the girl obviously had a flighty personality, almost like ADHD (maybe even split personality) and is the type to get bored quickly. Not untypical behavior for a hot female. Don't really think it has anythinng to do with what i did because i did pretty much everything that everyone is saying i failed to do. Maybe that's my fault that everyone is misinterpreting this because i left out alot of details in my opening post to keep it as short as i could. Did i call her 3-5 times a day? No. Did i flood her with text messages every hour or several times a day? No. But i do know that i showed genuine interest and went for it from the very first night. fetish Edited August 11, 2011 by fetish1980
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