dreams19 Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Hi I am new here. I just wanted to get some opinions. 12 years ago I met the guy who I lost my virginity to and was my first love. We dated for 2 years. He broke up with me. I was devastated. We were both 20 at the time. He went and sowed his oats and I cried for the next year over him. For the last two years of college he never really left me alone. He would date other women and when it was over, he would come back to me physically and emotionally. This went on, until we graduated, I confessed to him the night before graduating (while high) how much he hurt me over the years and he said he was sorry. That was that, thinking I will be moving back home and will never hear from him again. Fast forward- I moved to FL, and lived there for 4 years, in between dating other men and I lost my parents too. I am now 31 years old, living back where the ex is from. The whole 4 years that I was away from him he had other loves, relationships, but he always would talk to me via email or IM. He never really ever "left". So now I live 15 mins away from him, we had a reunion about 2 years ago. We hooked up once again and this time I had a scare and thought I was pregnant. I wasnt. it was so intense and emotional we decided it wouldn't work, I was the typical girl thinking, he came back and he was the guy thinking this will never work if it didn't work before, so again we went our separate ways. Recently we have started communicating again. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and he hasn't been with anyone for awhile. We just started to have sex again, and although I am sure neither of us wants to admit it, sex is amazing, emotional and fulfilling between us. Now it has been 11 years and it honestly is better then anyone I have EVER slept with before. He def makes it all about me, and spends time talking and joking about life afterwards. My question is: Am I joking myself that he may still have feelings for me, maybe even love me???? How do I know it isnt just about sex???? Are we just FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
limelily Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 He either does in fact love you or else he loves the idea of you. I would say after 11 years of knowing him, go ahead and ASK! Be straight with him. If it turns out he just likes the idea of you, let it all go and find someone that will love YOU. After 11 years of going back and forth, its safe to leave it if its not going anywhere. And hey, if after 11 years this guy is in love with you, go for it-sounds like it would be a good love story! See what he thinks and feels about this whole thing! 11 years is a long time...are you willing to sacrifice another 11 years doing this same dance with him? Time to get serious or get lost!
Nohbody Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 If you want to know, he's the only one that can really answer for you. So you risk losing what you have if he doesn't. Is that worth it to you?
Author dreams19 Posted August 11, 2011 Author Posted August 11, 2011 The thing is he thinks it wouldn't work if it didn't work then. I said to him we were 19 Years old....we have been through life...I've lost my parents my rocks and he has been through some terrible relationships. I just don't get why he can't admit he loves me. His actions are different then his words. When we make love it is making love. He doesn't even care if he gets off he cares about me and waits for me to feel good. I am treading lightly....the thing is I know him better then himself. Everytimt I getclose he gets weird but this time around although he said he doesn't want a relationship....but yet he keeps coming around telling me how beautiful I am and how amazing i am....im in love with him why can't he just. Say it????
limelily Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Everytimt I getclose he gets weird but this time around although he said he doesn't want a relationship....but yet he keeps coming around telling me how beautiful I am and how amazing i am....QUOTE] I think thats solid evidence right there. He doesn't want a relationship this time around. I think you need find another man that can satisfy you the way he does AND want to be in a serious relationship. Stop wasting your time. You've wasted enough.
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