ShoeGurl1973 Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]There’s been a guy that I have been attracted to for about 10 years. I am now 38 and he is 48. In the past he either had a gf or I had a bf so I never succomed to his advances. I recently ran into him at an old hangout neither of us had been to in over a year. Almost like fate! Within like 10 minutes of finding out we were both single, we were kissing. The next day we hooked up and several more times over the course of the next two weeks. I am so attracted to this man, he is physically everything in a man I love. His personal life (job etc) is a bit of a mess, however. He is very well known in our area and has young women after him all the time, so he’s not anyone I am looking for a relationship with. I merely wanted to experience him physically. I think he is rather unnerved at how we will spend the night together and then I virtually disappear. I don’t call, I don’t text, and Im not chasing him as he is accustomed. My reasoning is that I would be setting myself up for disappointment and heartache chasing a man with so many women around him. I know I am not the only one spending the night at his house. Strangely, however, he was talking about how all these girls just want to get pregnant by him but he can tell that I am sincere with my feelings. I assured him that was the last thing on my mind and then he went on to say that we would have gorgeous children and how his sisters want nothing more than for him to have a baby – he is 48 after all. It was a little odd. Its almost like he wants to settle down and this isn’t what I was bargaining for. (He is right though, we would have gorgeous children.) He made the comment “you know, I am 12 years older than you”. I assured him I didn’t care. I know for a fact he has girls as young as 22 over, by his own admissions. So by bringing this up was he showing that he is considering me for a relationship? He was talking about how he’s tired of waking up alone and that he wants sex to mean something now. He also said that I am a puzzle, hard to figure out, and dangerous. I don’t know what that means. My only guess is that he is perplexed at how I don’t seem to need him, but love being with him. Guys are so hard to figure out. I really find myself analyzing everything and anything and I know I probably shouldn’t. What should I do? Wait for him to pursue me in more of a relationship role, or merely keep on with the weekend hookups? He seems to be uncertain which way to go, as well. Im afraid if I turn more relationshippy on him and start calling/texting he will get scared and bolt.[/FONT][/sIZE]
TBH Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 he's intruiged by you because you dont hassle him with texts and calls, trying to come over all the time et. classic treat 'em mean scenario. works like a dream on someone like him who is used to being chased by lots of women. it may be that he is looking to settle down, who knows, age does funny things to people but i would stay as you are for a while. if he really is into you, let him chase after you. he'd probably enjoy it anyway as he's never had to do it before!
Leumas Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 People are attracted to what they can't have. They want a challenge. Nobody wants to be with someone who throws themselves at them or is too available. They want to chase which is why he is acting the way he is. You are different than the other girls. You state early in your post that you don't want a relationship with him yet by the end you are implying that you do. That is confusing. Figure out what you want and act accordingly as per the above statement.
Professor X Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 If I had to guess I'd say he's a player. *He brags about the younger girls *He wants babies with you (promise of a future) quickly after meeting you. *Buying your mind with states such as "I want to have meaningful sex" (he realizes it at the age of 48?!!? I highly doubt it). * And topping it all of with "I am not sure" - To not sound like he's committing to you. Than you got 2 options now: 1. You keep enjoying the sex and attention you'll be giving him what he wants though), but please keep your feeling at bay, he's a player and as such, you are bound to get hurt sooner or later. 2. Play it hard to get, see if he's real or not, if he's really into you, he'll chase.
Author ShoeGurl1973 Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 Leumas - You are correct, I really didn't want a relationship with him because I know how he is. If, however, I saw a side of him that was willing to give up his "player-ness", I would entertain the idea.
FitChick Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 By saying those things, it almost sounds like he is trying to turn you into one of those clingy women who chase him, which would give him the power in the relationship. Now you have the power because you can take him or leave him. Sort of like a woman who complains that men dump her, then she meets a guy who treats her like gold. She doesn't know how to react because it's unfamiliar, so she creates drama to the point that she gets dumped again because that is what she knows. He knows how to be chased but not how to chase. A bit pathetic at his age.
dizy Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I would run, as far as fast as I can. He seems to be a heartbreaker and it's human nature to want things that they cant get. If you like him for more than 10 years, there is a huge chance that you will fall hard for him if you let your guard down, and it's going to hurt. I mean come on, 48 and maaaaybe he should settle down? if he wants to have babies and to settle, he will propose with a ring.
DuskCrush Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Shoegirl.....it's obvious you want a relationship with him now...why else would you be making this thread and asking these questions. Nothing is wrong with that... Definitely dont do anything that would suggest you want a relationship. If fact do the opposite. Spend next weekend away from him. Make plans with friends. I read in an online article that when you want more from a man or are starting to have expectations tja your vibe changes and he can sense it. Right now your vibe is changing and you dont even know it....you need t get your mindset back to the woman that met him at the party. So, distance yourself and train your mind to focus on something else. Are you talking to othrmen? You should be...dont make this guy the center of your world...
musemaj11 Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) This guy is Kevin Bacon in the movie Picture Perfect. Chances are once he senses that you have fallen for him, he will back off. If I were you, I would just use him for physical purpose and nothing else. Edited August 11, 2011 by musemaj11
Recommended Posts