lalalandman Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) Quick story. My ex treated me not so great for the first 4 years. After dumping me in August for the 5th time and many times cheating, I ended up meeting someone new within a few weeks. This girl ended up moving in. My ex caught wind of this and started harassing. She called and emailed about 8 of my friends saying how she took me for granted all those years and how terrible she was to me. Within a few months me and the girl broke it off in January and my ex was back. It wasn't good. She constantly brought up the other girl and accused me of still seeing her. But she did make some efforts. She tried involving me more with family. She bought some relationship help book. But there was a ton of bitterness still. I will admit, I was pretty damn mean to her. Anyways, she broke it off in May. I tried telling her she was making a big mistake. I told her after everything we should work it out. Rejected. She called after 2 weeks NC and wanted to meet up. In this time, I contacted the other girl. Right before I was to meet the ex, other girl contacted my ex. How I don't know. Anyways, they talked and my ex apologized for accusing me of seeing her for the past 4 months. My ex still rejected me. She told me she doesnt love me and to move on. So 2 weeks later of NC the other girl calls. She apologizes and wants to meet. Nothing happens. Then the ex calls again. Apparently the girl tells the ex we hung out. I told my ex that the other girl means nothing. My ex tells me she loves me but doesn't want to work it out. I tell her I'm at the end of my rope with everything. So after another rejection I change my Phone number and email. Apparently the ex called the other girl to see if she was seeing me. So it's been over 5 weeks of NC and I feel like I want to contact her. I just don't understand why shed break up after all the emails telling me she took me for granted, all my friends she contacted, she basically was responsible for me and the other girl breaking up. Didn't she know it was going to be hard when we got back together?? After everything how could she not want to fight for this the way I did for 4 years? What she thought a measly 3 months would be enough to call it quits? After all the cheating and dumping over the years. Sometimes I think she's just trying to cover up the guilt by telling herself "oh I gave it my all in those 3 months so I can walk away clean" for all I know there was someone else still. Or maybe she was expecting an apology from me? What should I do? Edited August 10, 2011 by lalalandman
wilsonx Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) Honestly, you should move on from both of them. You need to allow yourself time to heal from both breakups. This is why rebounding is such a terrible idea, because you will always still have feelings towards your ex until you take time to yourself to free yourself of that emotional attachment. I watched my best friend rebound with the girl he married (she's an amazing girl dont get me wrong) but he almost trashed his relationship with her because he was hung up on his ex and they were doing the same bull**** you just described was going on with your ex. When a relationship is over, its over. If you want to rebound go ahead but that means you have to have extreme NC with the ex no matter who ended it. If you aren't strong enough to do this, dont rebound. That friend told me straight up that you have to let your ex go immediately after your relationship, otherwise you will let the right one for you slip away. He was right, he found the right one but at the same time he did not take his own advice and almost ruined it. Another thing that I read that I missed the first time... cheating? She cheated on you? If so the relationship is over! Do not allow this ever, kick her to the curb and move on the first time. Have some dignity and self respect for yourself because if you do not, she wont. Edited August 10, 2011 by wilsonx
Author lalalandman Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 Yea I think I am having moments of despair and relapse after 5 weeks of NC. I don't think there is any point in contacting her, especially since she dumped me and I've already been rejected. So keep with the moving on.
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