Balthizaar Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 If you could help would be much appreciated! i don't normally talk to friends about relationships n that so any advice is great! Ill try to explain the situation the best i can without being to long. I started seeing a girl at work 6 months ago she is 24 im 34, we don't actually work together but bump into eachother several times a day. anyway we start something and all is good flirting, texting a lot everyday, spending time together, having sex you know how goes. Well after about a month she becomes a bit cold and distant i guess because we said we would take things slow as to not burn out, texting became a bit different less flirty and bit cold sometimes, but i just tried to be cool with it as i really starting to like her now. Anyway things pick back up after a while, texting and seeing each other regularly but not too much, and just having fun hanging out together. this continues for quite sometime, but in my gut something is telling me all is not right and in my heart its telling me im falling for her. The reason my gut was telling me something was wrong was the sex had become less and she stopped spending the night at mine, she always had a reason for it though. But after a few months together she has only invited me to her place once??. anyway i kept picking up on signals from her or imagining them and it was making me confused and a bit down n moody. Anyway i obviously cant go in to every little detail but there are signs she cares and likes me too. We sort of had an argument on phone cpl weeks ago it was nothing major bs really but things were said, like i seem miserable and moody sometimes, which im not denying because i have been with good reason, like my nan dying 3 half months ago and financial probs, but part of the reason im down sometimes is because she is so cold n distant often, it makes me sad as i don't know where i stand and not sure what to think. And she said no one wants to be with someone thats not happy and i actually agree on that. Im not a miserable person im quite content with my life its just things happen every now and then. We don't text or speak for cpl days thought best leave it for bit, i call her but she dident answer, she text me but very cold thou so we agree talk in bit on phone. We did but the call was just strange colder than the normal cold, anyway we chat for a bit and i apologized for argument other day she said forget it Ive had fun since then, i was like cool me too just forget it then. But she still seemed different somehow. Well we text each other a bit since then just normal stuff, Ive been giving her some space and having fun with my friends and really cheered up a lot since we spoke, i text her week ago to say hey she replied twice and i left it at that, as last few times ive had to initiate text/call, i don't want to be needy or clingy n that. The thing is we have not spoke or text each other in 7 days, no contact at all, the most we have gone without talking is 2 days. I think she has lost interest in me and is just stringing me along or is just completely done with me now. I hope not because i have got pure, true feelings for her, i think shes really cute and love everything about her except the coldness. This no contact hurts but i cant text her as i need her to contact me because she wants too. Am i doing the right thing with no contact? we just stopped talking, don't know where we stand, do i just move on and forget her? We are back at work next week i would like to know where things are before we go back or could be awkward when we see each other, i guess if i keep no contact il just be polite and smile when i see her.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Yeah NC, if she wanted to be with you she would. She would not be cold or she would at least talk and explain why. You don't want to be with a girl that rolls hot and cold, just cut it now. I know you care about her but you will be so much better off. Good luck
Author Balthizaar Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) Thanks bonpaw2008 i will stick with the NC. When i last called her, she said she didn't want to talk about it on the phone, she only wanted to talk about it face to face! So i guess from her saying that and not even bothering to try is a pretty clear message eh! It would be so much easier if i didn't have to see her when i go back to work, its just Ive never had a girl go cold and weird on me like that before. Just wasn't sure how to deal with it, NC all the way then. Thanks. Edited August 11, 2011 by Balthizaar
Author Balthizaar Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Well its now 11 days no contact, cant seem to stop thinking about her. I guess the fact that we never even said to each other that we were on a break or finished is why its doing my head in so much, we just stopped communicating i need to know something so i can move on. I think Ive done well so far with 11 days no contact, i am quite stubborn thou, so don't want to contact her and keep some mystery, plus i have been having a lot of fun with my friends recently. But Ive been thinking what if she is doing the no contact thing too? she is stubborn like me and can probably resist making contact. Also Ive heard people say like " if she does not contact you first she was not worth it move on" but what if shes thinking or has heard the same thing as-well? I am using no contact for me to heal and get stronger i do feel a bit better, still bloody confused though and do still want to be with her. We have got to go back to work tomorrow as been off for summer break, i am not sure how i will react when we bump in to each other at work? Do i try to avoid her or just be nice and smile? I have a feeling its not going to be easy when we do meet as she is so cute, and that the days no contact Ive done so far will have been for nothing.
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