Derf Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 She says she needs a break to figure her life out, be alone. Not to drift away but figure out if and when we can get back on the same page. I've been seeing this girl for 9 months, and things were incredible for the first half. The last few months she has requested space to focus on her self and her daughter. She had just eneded an 8 year relationship with the father of her daughter and never had time to herself. So I understand taking time to breathe a little so the past few months we only saw each other once a week and sometimes less than that. It has been difficult for me and I may have made it hard for her to take her space without making her feel guilty. Now she resents me a little wants a break to sort things out, but says she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. It's just something she has to do. From the beginning we have been completely open and honest with each other and had complete trust. Its tough because we are so great together, the emotional and physical connection has been amazing, but we started fighting quite a bit just because we are not in the same place and she says she can't give me what I need right now. It scares her to think of losing me, but with out a break it will never work. To make things more complicated she is still close with her ex for their daughters sake and they also work together. I do trust that she is over him and will not get back with him, but know that he still loves her. Her father took off when she was her daughters age and doesn't want that for her daughter. So I can respect what they are doing. My worry is, she wants space from me and not him. I just don't know how much time to give her. She says she might need a couple months, and isn't sure what's going to happen. I want to hang on, but it's also killing me not know what she wants exactly. She also said that she understands if i move on, not to wait around for her. I explained that i love her very much and want her to be happy and in a good place so we can move forward someday. And i will not hold this "taking space" against her. It's only been a week, but a long one.
Chi townD Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Give her time and the space that she asked for. However, you need to go NC with her. She needs to miss you and to see what life will be like without you in it. To see what kind of impact you had being with her.
bigdgsr Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 Going through the exact same thing right now. We were together for about 11 months. The only thing you can do is go NC and work on yourself. I'm only on day 4. I hope everything works out for you.
Frank13 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 She is blowing smoke, but I think you have figured that out. At best she has another guy (the father) on her mind and you are her backup plan. At worst she is hoping you go away. The clue is she told you not to wait around. Dump her and don't look back. If she tries to get back together, tell her "you wanted your space, now let me have mine".
shortee143 Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 My ex told me he needed time alone and to be single...stupid me, thought he would come back, but nope, 2 months later, he was happily seeing someone else. Def go NC if you can do it, and if she realizes what she is giving up, and comes back than that is wonderful! But do not wait for her...you take the risk of having a major letdown come your way. I know it is hard as heck, but give her that space...dont bother her...but do your best to not wait for her...even though I know you are going crazy wondering what is going to happen. If you wait and hope, and she comes back you'll be a happy camper, but if she doesnt, you will be hurtin'. Use this time the best you can to focus on you, and help yourself realize YOU be will ok, whether she comes back, or not!
arbrne_vet Posted August 12, 2011 Posted August 12, 2011 Save yourself the grief, the heartache, the self respect...... I mean this with all sincerity and respect towards you my friend. She just plunged a knife in your chest. YOU can pull it out, and move on, or you can let her twist it around. Which one will allow you to heal faster?
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