rosie72 Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 My partner is certain he is leaving me..says his love for me has gone, though says our life together is good in all other ways. I thought i had accepted that he was leaving (it has been weeks after all, but he hasnt left the house yet), and we even began talking about the practical aspects of our split, but thenyesterday i broke down in tears because i'm not not dealing with it all. My mental health is bad right now, and he was upset and gave me a hug, and told me of course he still cared about my feelings, hated seeing me upset etc. He held me for a long time and it felt so good. Later, just as he was about to go out, i asked him, please dont sleep in the spare room tonight. I said to him, cant we just give this some more time? he hugged me, and quietly said 'yes'. Last night he came to bed with me and we ended up having sex. It was very weird to say the least, especially as sex wasnt my intention! Today he is very quiet, and maybe he is regretting what he said to me. Even if he stays, i have no idea where to go from here. How to heal all the hurt and try to begin again. i dont know what to say to him, or how to act. I think i messed up and i forced his hand. What should i do?
blakjak Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 I say, let him leave. Don't fight it. Don't have sex with him. Let him leave. It might be tough, but you won't heal until you have some time away from you. If he really cares, he will miss you and try to get back into contact with you.
English-Rose Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Let him go then go to your doctor and seek counselling. Don't do this alone. Really feel for you and your son. You must get help, you can't let this beat you. Don't have him stay out of guilt. Let him go and he may come back. X
Author rosie72 Posted August 12, 2011 Author Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) i know i must let him go, so why cant i? English-rose - i did actually go to my doctor, i have a prescription for prozac and a referral for counseling. Even through all this i am taking steps to look after myself at least. I odnt want to take medication tho, ive been on it before and it makes me numb - i think i need to heal properly not just cover it up. The day after he said he would give us more time, he ignored me all day. The next morning i asked him - he denied making any 'big declarations' about trying again. Another discussion ensued.. same old stuff, ending again with a question mark over evrything. It leaves me again in that state of swinging from tiny hope to absolute despair. I believe i will not be able to help fighting to keep him until he's out the door, packed and gone. I know i shouldnt but thats just the way it seems to be. I vow i will leave him be, then two days later i am churning it all up again and asking for another chance. Its a crazy repeating pattern. its because he is waiting to tell our son once he is settled into his new school, so i have another month or so of this! its a living hell day after day. My mind is on it almost 100% of the time, and when i imagine the future without him i have terrible anxiety attacks. Its awful Edited August 12, 2011 by rosie72
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