girlfriend cheated...

[Steadfast]

The only one who's fooling themselves is you if you think a woman can do anything she wants and get away with it, simply because she's a female. The time for coddling women is over. New age. Get with the program.

Ahh...fooled again JMK, RM, Mr. Harris or whatever new alias you decide to create. Problem is, you're not intelligent enough to craft a new writing style and your prose is as weak and argumentative as ever. Major time waster.

Edited August 11, 2011 by Steadfast

[Tim Drake]

I'll try to keep this as simple as possible. I've been working two jobs to try to make ends meet for my girlfriend and me, who I have been with since October 2007. It has caused a lot of tension because I'm rarely around to even have a relationship and, for a time, it felt like we were simply roommates. Well, this is exactly how she felt, and with me not being around, she became extremely lonely. So, in one drunken night, she cheated on me. I only found out because the guy she cheated on me with contacted me after she found out she was pregnant, he told her to move in with him, and she rejected him. She quickly came clean to me and all the aforementioned issues with lack of intimacy finally came to the surface.

 

Right now, we're separated. We love each-other dearly, and I know she feels absolutely horrible about what she did to me... heck, I even tried blaming myself for catalyzing this whole issue with working too much, but she refused to put the blame on anyone but herself.

 

Problem is... she's pregnant. She used to talk how she'd be fine with an abortion in the event that we got pregnant, but she's saying that now she's pregnant, she has all these emotions for this child that's not even here yet. She hasn't made a decision whether to keep it or not yet, but I'm trying to figure out things for myself. By her keeping the kid, it means the guy she cheated on me with will forever be in the picture, despite her not wanting to be with him. Also, by her keeping the kid, it means that I will have to have a central role in the child's life; perhaps even like a father figure. She'll need me to love the child, but I don't know how I could love the permanent sign of her one night of infidelity. I want her to just abort and we can pick up the pieces from there; but with the child coming, it just seems too complicated to be able to stick around.

 

So there it is... I don't know where to go from here. I love this girl... she's my life and I have done so much for her. She despises herself for her selfish act, and I believe it to be genuine. I also believe her love for me to still be genuine and true. How do I handle this train-wreck of a situation?

 

OP dump her. If the child is yours, take care of it. If it isn't more power to you.

[Tim Drake]

Good for you.

 

 

 

Still doesn't excuse what happened, and he has a say in it. Just because she's a woman with a child doesn't give her the right to do whatever she wants. That old school thinking needs to go.

 

 

 

He didn't make any mistakes so what are you talking about.

 

I agree David, it's inexcusable.

[Tim Drake]

Ahh...fooled again JMK, RM, Mr. Harris or whatever new alias you decide to create. Problem is, you're not intelligent enough to craft a new writing style

 

First of all, how do you know David has multiple accounts? What evidence do you have?

 

And you're off-topic.

 

But to entertain your frivolous accusations, you're saying that if he had a "new writing style" (typing actually, and I don't see what's the point of getting worked up over how someone presents their posts:rolleyes:) that you would be okay with having a troll, just to ease your conscience.

 

It's safe to say that type of mentality your "intelligence" needs some grooming don't you think?

 

and your prose is as weak and argumentative as ever. Major time waster.

 

Now you're going overboard. If his "prose" was weak and argumentative, why do you keep responding to him? Just goes to show that if you feel he's being "immature," (when he's really not) that you're immature also. If it's a major time waster then maybe your best bet would be to not respond, simply because you don't agree with someone else's point of view.

[road]

How do you the it's not your kid?

 

At birth if the paternity test shows it's the OM's then tell GF goodbye, and let the OM and GF raise their kid.

 

Until then if the GF is able to go NC with the OM then sit tight and wait till the birth. Then you can decide to stay with the GF. By the way even if it is your kid you only have to be the dad. You still can end the relationship with the GF.

 

Let time work to your advantage.

[Tech_E]

Tim Drake aka RepairMinded, welcome back.

 

Given the fact that the OP hasn't come back he's likely made up his mind (with any luck).

[pie2]

I don't think that the OP wrote that he outright TOLD her she had to get an abortion, he just implies that he would like to see her get an abortion. I do believe that he knows that, that choice isn't his.

 

I agree, I don't think he demanded that she get an abortion. But to me, his thought process and reasoning for wanting a child to be aborted is selfish.

 

However, we want to label him as evil for ever suggesting it, but if a woman actually does it, then it's looked upon as her exercising her right at pro-choice. so unbalanced...

 

Regarding your second point, I definitely agree that women seem to pretty much hold the all the cards in this very unbalanced situation, and it's not fair! BUT..."we" don't want to label the man evil and claim women's lib for females. I don't want anyone to abort a baby, unless the woman might die or some other abberant situation. I'm pro-adoption!

[rafallus]

I agree, I don't think he demanded that she get an abortion. But to me, his thought process and reasoning for wanting a child to be aborted is selfish.

 

Sure. But "selfish" doesn't always equate to "wrong" or "morally bankrupt".