fauxleather Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 2 months since broke up, 6 weeks of NC from me, 3 weeks since she broke NC with me and I replied her in a rather neutral and objective tone. All these weird signs and things she's doing, I'm sick and tired of analyzing them. I'm limiting the amount of friends in real life I can talk to about these things because the more I talk, the more I never get out of it and the more I feel that I'm becoming like a distraught being. It's been such a ride. Sometimes I feel like I want to move on and I'm convinced I'm determined enough to do so. Other times, I just want to collapse and cry all over again cause I'm filling myself with so many distractions but it's really not working at all. It's as if my brain functions too god damn well. I'm working, studying my full-time degree, exercising, hanging out with friends, and I reach home only to sleep. I can only sleep 5-6 hours cause that's just the way it is, anymore and I'll just wake up. I wake up and I fill myself with activities again. I can do everything and anything and I still have no problems tugging her at the back of my head. It's freaking annoying. Amazing how one bloody annoying person can do this to you. She wasn't even that amazing, I don't get it. This is stupid. I SO miss the times when I can smile and laugh genuinely. But now I can't do it. I'm trapped in my own past and I can't get out.
Author fauxleather Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 Hey Sedated, thanks for replying. I know what you mean man. The dreams are the worst parts. Sometimes I know I'm dreaming, but I wake up and I smile genuinely. I smile cause, I was really happy for that period of time. It's sad that your happiness is bounded to something which is unreal but yet somehow, there really isn't anything you can do about it besides let time do its healing. To be honest, I'm not even sure if time can completely heal me. Because I really loved. And I don't think it's possible to really have zero traces of feelings for a person you really once loved. I just hope that I'll heal up fast and be normal again, because life has lots for me and I don't want to be held back by ONE silly person that seriously isn't worth the trouble at all. I SO want to continue playing mind games with her cause I know for sure she didn't break up with me entirely for someone else but rather more of combination of her wanting to give up on me and me being an ass at times. But unfortunately, I don't think emotionally I'm up for it yet but I'm afraid I'll miss the opportune time. On the surface I look as if I've moved on. My friends come to me and say, "Hey! You look much better already. Told you it's nothing, plenty of girls out there man." But deep down inside, I look at myself and realize how so screwed up I am and it's sad. Mourning over a relationship is really a full-time job and I so want to quit.
bubcake Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Remember that line in Lord of the Rings when he says: "The wound will never fully heal". I always felt it was all just a metaphor for heart break. For me, it still felt bad after 5 months, then after a year. Around a year later, I started to feel better, but it was a horrible daily experience feeling that numbness. Nothing I could do could stop it. It's been 2 years now, and I still feel it if I think about it. The good thing is that I have no wish to, but it's still there to some degree. Don't try to bury these things,
Author fauxleather Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 Quite frankly I cannot imagine going on like this for a year. I don't know how long I can hold on. It's so frustrating and I find myself very stupid for feeling like this. It's already over, jeez. I need to get over it.
GolightlyD Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 2 months since broke up, 6 weeks of NC from me, 3 weeks since she broke NC with me and I replied her in a rather neutral and objective tone. All these weird signs and things she's doing, I'm sick and tired of analyzing them. I'm limiting the amount of friends in real life I can talk to about these things because the more I talk, the more I never get out of it and the more I feel that I'm becoming like a distraught being. It's been such a ride. Sometimes I feel like I want to move on and I'm convinced I'm determined enough to do so. Other times, I just want to collapse and cry all over again cause I'm filling myself with so many distractions but it's really not working at all. It's as if my brain functions too god damn well. I'm working, studying my full-time degree, exercising, hanging out with friends, and I reach home only to sleep. I can only sleep 5-6 hours cause that's just the way it is, anymore and I'll just wake up. I wake up and I fill myself with activities again. I can do everything and anything and I still have no problems tugging her at the back of my head. It's freaking annoying. Amazing how one bloody annoying person can do this to you. She wasn't even that amazing, I don't get it. This is stupid. I SO miss the times when I can smile and laugh genuinely. But now I can't do it. I'm trapped in my own past and I can't get out. I dated a girl for two dazzling months, then the bubble broke and the next two sucked and that was 6 months ago AND I AM STILL HUNG UP ON THIS GIRL, frankly. I figured out the other day that she is like heroin. We all know it's bad for you but it's the amazing high (I have never done it but now feel like I have). And someone once said, once you taste it, it keeps calling you back...
Author fauxleather Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 I dated a girl for two dazzling months, then the bubble broke and the next two sucked and that was 6 months ago AND I AM STILL HUNG UP ON THIS GIRL, frankly. I figured out the other day that she is like heroin. We all know it's bad for you but it's the amazing high (I have never done it but now feel like I have). And someone once said, once you taste it, it keeps calling you back... Wow. I dated this girl for 3.5 months only as well, and we barely known each other for 1-2 months before diving into a relationship. It's funny how the shortest thing can hurt you the longest. But I kinda came into the conclusion that a majority of us here are feeling the pain because we freaking got dumped. It's too difficult to accept that absolute rejection from someone who once not only just readily accepted you into her life, but wanted you so badly to be a part of it. 6 months down and still hung up yea...I wonder when will we ever get out of this.
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