CNE181 Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) Okay, so my boyfriend (now ex) and I went out for six months. I really loved him and cared for him, tried my best to make things work. However, he never really put that much effort into the relationship at all. He never invited me over, he never did any of the planning (we had one date a week if that, which I always planned. I would be the one saying, we both have off, did you want to do something?), and 95% of the time, I would be the first to text, with him always being slow to respond, and some days he would just drop off the face of the Earth completely, not even realizing if I didn't text him at all. I would do so much for him, and it would feel like he really didn't appreciate it all that much. In general, the last few weeks (month or so before it ended) I was just upset all the time about the relationship. I felt like he wasn't into me at all because if he was, he would have put in more effort. So about three weeks ago, we ended things mutually. He wasn't really ready for a relationship (he hasn't been in many relationships), and I didn't want to continue it either knowing I was just going to end up hurt in the long run because I cared more than he did. We both said we'd like to be friends, though. Here's where it gets confusing: we both work in the same place (I know a lot of people will say it's stupid to date in the workplace, but having the ex there hasn't really bothered me, don't know about him), and we share a lot of the same friends there. I have this one male friend (one of our mutual friends) there that I have no romantic interest in, but I talk to/hang out with at work. This friend says my ex was asking about me the other day, asking if me and him have been "talking." This male friend thinks that my ex was trying to see if he (the male friend) was interested in me. However, I see it as trying to check up on me, and to be honest, it's a little irritating, and very confusing. If he wasn't that into the relationship, and things ended mutually, why is he checking up on me like that? Why does he care about if someone else is interested (if that was his true intention of asking, I'm not sure)? Kind of feel like if he wanted things to end, he really shouldn't be asking/shouldn't need to know about that kind of stuff, especially if he wants to be friends. I'm moving on, and trying to be friends (things like that take time though, I realize) but I feel like it will be hard to be friends if he's doing stuff like this. It's just really confusing. Any insight would be helpful... Edited August 9, 2011 by CNE181
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