Help my girlfriend has a bad attitude and is emotionally draining me!! what to do?

[joeman694]

Alright here goes

okay ive been dating this girl for like... a year!! everything was going great then her friend moved it was an older girl friend!!! she bcame really depressed so i did my best to be there for her and support her but for the last couple months shes become really mean and bitchy or when i tak to her on the phone shel sound really depressed and hen i ask her whats wrong shell say "... nothing" i dont know what to do shes either being rude and mean or shes just not talkting to me i know that she has a communication problem but i am very patient and try to never be short or anything with her now its gotten to the point here im just really emotinally drained and i dont know what to do!!! i am going to move out ofstate to go to school and shes says shes going to come with me!!! i dont knwo what to do to much to say not enough time in life!! i dont know what to do im t im last thread!

[miz_barby]

Well if you don't feel the same for her anymore because of all this or if you're feelings have changed and you don't want her to come with you......you OWE it to her and to Yourself to be honest! Even if you feel like you still want to be friends with her but aren't interested anymore romantically then you should just let her know before you go to college and before she comes all that way with you...there things will probably get worse because you will be into your work, making new friends, and trying to move on with your life and she will be there (assuming you let her come along) probably clinging to you as a life support, needing a lot of your time and energy and since you are going to clearly be busier (with it being college) she will probably become more depressed and with a worse attitude than now! However it may be none of this maybe she is scared she is going to loose you too and doesn't know how to deal with it but it isn't your responsability to drag her problems out of her...she needs to open up...either way you have a big choice to make and you need to do it soon before it becomes "a little too late"

[Becks84]

First of all, have you tried talking to her about everything you have told us in your post? You are obviously unhappy at this point, and she deserves to know it, even if the truth may upset her. You dont want to go on this way and then out of the blue call it quits and leave her miserable and confused.

 

You said she is not a good communicator...hmm...I wish had advice on this part of your problem. She's just going to have to open up. You two can't go on this way and go away to school together without fixing things between the two of you, or perhaps even ending things.

 

Keep us updated! Good luck

[joeman694]

first of all thank you i appreciate your words to the fullest thank you i dont wanna break up with her at all i just dont know if i should take that time to help her or let hjer figure it out by her self i love this girl with all my heart and there is nothing i wouldnt do for her its just really hurting me when whe says those things then she gets mad at me cuz i dont do the same to her im more calm and know how to communicate better thanx for the help it means alot i want her to come i am really serous about that i have tried talking through everything with her and sometimes shell talk sometimes she just wont even respond which is very frusteraing then i feel awfull about my self cuz i get jelous sometimes to.... for example last night we went over to visit oneof my friends all day shell barely talk to me ,,,,, when she does she wont look at me barely and she wont respond that much but when we go out with my friend she is really responsive to him andmakes eye contact and is really nice to him!!!! girls are weird she told me she was being fake but... i just dont inderstand!!!!

[befuddled11]

A little off topic, and I mean no offense...but it's really poor net etiquette to write a post and not use ANY punctuation. It's really hard to read a sentence that never ends. Try some periods and commas...periods and commas are your friend, really.

[masked_man]

A carriage break (paragraph) or two would help us to read as well

 

As to the topic at hand. I think you will have to sit her down and have a "straight up" talk. Tell her how you feel about her, but also tell her that her current behaviour is pissing you off no end. Ask her what is happening, and how, in light of her conduct, she expects you to feel and react. Then she may begin to see things from your point of view.

 

I know it is difficult "confronting" someone you care for, but considering all the changes about to take place in your life, you really need to clear the air with her as soon as possible.

 

Good luck

[magda]

Say the truth, "I love you, but you treat me crappy lately and never talk to me. I'd like you to come with me, but not if you're going to continue behaving sullen all the time. Because if you do, I'll have to break up with you pretty quick-like, once I grow back some balls. So you're going to need to can the 'teen angst' crap and act like an adult who loves me. Oh, and I need it to start now as in yesterday or it's thankyou as in goodbye."

[joeman694]

Sorry about the punctuation

 

anyways dont your think your being a little rough on me.....first of all when you care for someone in a time of confusion should you be there for that person....no matter how they treat you?

 

And in the process if your hurt shouldnt you be understanding.....grow some balls........well. i don t think that this is a matter of balls... but i dont know how to handle someone who acts this way i have been told that i am consistently caring and everything i try to be understanding and everything but it does make it difficult when your emotions are clouded by difficult times.....

 

i believe that in a relationship you should be caring considerate and understanding at all times no matter what.... they always say that nice guy finishes last...right?

 

 

well whe do i finish i just wanna be there for her then keep growing together in our lives! do i need to toughin up? or be more calm and understanding???