JohnP82 Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 9 months. This is the longest relationship I have ever been in so as things progress it has all been new territory for me. The problem that I'm coming into is that we are about to become long distance because she is starting grad school this week. Albeit, she's only going to be about an hour away. Yesterday we had a very rational discussion about long distance and what that can do to a relationship. The usual fears, I think, growing apart being the greatest concern. This program is going to be pretty intense with us maybe being able to see each other twice a month with phone conversations/skype and texting everyday. I just don't know what to expect or how to feel. Everything is so confusing. To top it off I think I'm starting to fall in love with her and I really want to say it. I just don't know if I should if I believe that a break up is going to happen. I know that sounds silly, but this is all new to me. I've never told a girl I love her. It just sucks that as we're hitting our stride, things may be about to fall apart.
Orianne Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 After dating for the better part of a year, I see no reason why you shouldn't tell her that you love her. If you don't, you run the risk of bringing the relationship into stagnation. Obviously, you guys have already spoken about her going away and she didn't break up with you. This is a good sign. I wouldn't put any energy into worrying about break-up, as that has a tendency to make people insecure and clingy, and that WILL ruin a perfectly good relationship.
Author JohnP82 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 Thanks elisee8d for the advice. I agree with your beliefs about insecurities. I learned the hard way how insecurities can ruin a relationship a few years ago. I admit that I currently have some, but I trust her.
Author JohnP82 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 So I couldn't hold it in anymore. Truthfully I've been almost about to say it for about a month. I told her that I love her. She said Thank you. I don't know how to feel. I certainly didn't anticipate on her response nor did I say it expecting her to say it in return. I knew that I wanted to tell her and I mean it. Right now there is a pit in my stomach and I can't fall asleep. I just feel really awkward now. Definitely not what I expected for the first time saying I love you.
thatone Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 it's no different than when you first asked her out. she could've said no. you got your answer, time to accept the fact that she is ready to leave and the feelings don't go both ways. but then again, the writing was probably on the wall and you just didn't see it. i mean, people drive more than an hour to go to work every day in many cases. if she has to move to go to class (which is less time than a job), she was telling you something right there, you just didn't hear it.
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