Maroon718 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I were together for 5 years and engaged for 5 months. We broke up because I found out that, over a 3 day period, he had sent and received a total of over 1000 texts messages with a girl that he works with. When I confronted him about it he denied it at first and when he showed me his phone he had clearly deleted the text messages. I told him he was full of BS and he confessed. He said if I didn't trust him, we couldn't have a relationship so then he broke up with me. This was in April. He told me that I could keep my engagement ring and that I didn't have to give it back. He also insisted on us being friends. We still lived together, hung out and slept together on occasion. He stopped texting the previous girl and started texting another girl from his job. When I asked him about her he said they were "just friends" and their relationship was "platonic." Fast forward to June and when I checked facebook one day the girl had changed her relationship status. He confirmed that he and the girl were dating now. I was devastated of course. He still insisted on keeping me as a friend and I tried my best, but it hurt too much. So, 14 days ago I started no contact so that I could heal. I didn't send him a letter or anything, I just stopped answering his messages one day. I have tried to go NC before but I always failed. He would find ways to toy with my emotions or guilt trip me into responding. This is a man who HATES being ignored by me, so I knew he'd be angry. The first few messages he sent during NC, he asked me how I was. I never responded. Then he asked me when he could get his furniture because he was moving to a new apartment and I had agreed to keep the furniture for him while he go ready to move in. I honored our agreement and he came and got his things Friday. That was the only time I responded to his messages. Now, I'm back to full NC and he is still texting me. He is asking to exchange more stuff, but this time HE WANTS THE ENGAGEMENT RING BACK! Since April, he has never said anything about the ring ever expect that I could keep it. Now when I go NC, he all of a sudden remembers the ring and wants it back. He is also asking for pillows, dishes and tupperware. He works 2 jobs and could easily buy these items. Do you think he's just trying to get a reaction out of me? What should I do?
betterdeal Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Sell the engagement ring and give the money to charity.
just_scott Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 he's a ''guy'' of cource he want's some kind of control over you in some fashon [we all want that in a way ] the engagement ring hock it pawn it , sell it use the money to pay an over due bill a nice dinner , something cool for yourself
richhurts Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 (edited) Sounds to me like he misses you and is desperate to get you back not being controlling. The first sign that he wanted to ask how you were doing was truly sincere. Now that he is asking for more stuff is just an excuse to see you again, face to face, in hopes things go well. He really doesn't sound like he wants the ring back but the person it was attached to. I don't care if you are a man or a woman. To spend that much time together means you had to have love at some point and that doesn't go away not even after a few months. What you should do is what you feel in your heart, of course he is trying to get a reaction out of you. But only you know what you want to do with it, the ball is in your court now. Edited August 8, 2011 by richhurts
Author Maroon718 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 (edited) I would have liked to have gotten back together too and for the first 2 months of the break up I begged, pleaded, cried and did all of the things you aren't supposed to do. He always shot me down and said we weren't going to get back together, but then he would say he wanted me in his life. He's still with the new girl too. They've been together for 7 weeks or so. It really broke my heart that he could just hop into a new relationship like that after 5 years. She is the complete opposite of me in every way (race, body type, religious beliefs, political beliefs, upbringing, personality etc). Maybe if i had listened to other people's advice and gone NC from day 1, we'd be together right now. I think by hanging around as his "friend" that gave him the security to pursue a new relationship. I tried to go NC before but failed every time. I finally have the strength to do it. Now, he's starting to act desperate. I feel that he might be angry at me. He was the one who wanted this break up and he made his choice to dump me. Edited August 8, 2011 by Maroon718
Recommended Posts