Can't figure him out!

[Misar7]

Gonna be long sorry! Ok me and my ex finace had been together for 8 yrs. During the 8 yrs we broke up about 5 yrs ago and he got into another relationship..it only lasted a few months and he was back and we worked it out and things went good. Well about 4 months ago he calls me up, not in person he did it over the phone breaks up with me and says I deserve better I would be happier with someone else and he thinks we should just part ways. Well, I did not protest at all I said ok if that is what you want but, I love you and I want to be with you and I had no idea anything was even wrong in our relationship, this is coming out of nowhere. It was a strange break up!

 

Then about a month later he starts calling me & texting me then before you know it we are hanging out a lot and sleeping together again..but no talk from either of us about a relationship, now in between that time I had been talking to an old friend who is in the military, just as a friend nothing more he knew about it seemed cool with it. Well about 2 months ago he did start to seem bothered by it and make some comments and asking questions about it all, and wanting to know when he was coming back and did I plan on dating him. I said I wasn't sure I was seeing where things went but we are just friends, I want to be with you but it isn't what you want and he never responded and I didn't wanna push it cause things were going so good with us, and in the back of my mind I thought we were gonna get back together soon.

Well then he starts talking about buying a nice house and starting a family with me but still no mention of getting back together! Then one night he was trying to convince me get pregnant and I rejected him and he became like sad and wounded..but seemed to get over it ..then 2 wks ago once again he was trying to talk me into getting pregnant and I said I would love to start a family with you but, we need to discuss working on our relationship and marriage, get stable before having a child and he said yea I know that will come later we have 9 months before the baby gets here. (Let me add that we had 2 failed pregnancies that were planned in the past together that broke both our hearts.) Once again I said no I can't take the chance of getting pregnant right now with us like this, we need to work on us.

 

Well he didn't have much to say after that, but continued calling me twice a day everyday as he had been the last 3 months. Well then just 6 days ago he started getting all weird and then just stopped calling stopped texting..so I tried calling him and txting him, I was getting no replies until Friday night he called me and I asked are you ok you seem distant and like you are ignoring me, so I thought maybe he just started seeing someone but at same time that fast?? He was just wanting to get me pregnant 2 wks ago!! Well he denied seeing anyone but continued the strange actions and acting almost mad at me. But he said he was not mad at me at all.

Well last night my intuition kicked in high gear and I just knew something was going on and he denied it at first but, then finally told me he had been seeing some girl the past 6 days and was now staying with her, and he was very rude about it to me. I said wow that was fast! Then in the midst of telling me this he said where are you in your cycle do you think you could be pregnant, I said no my period has not started yet and I highly doubt I am as I told you no and took precautions.

He said ok well please let me know if you are or not as soon you know.

 

That was it we have not talked since last night. I am confused and who is this new girl and why are they moving so damn fast..it's really strange! I am still in love with him and I just don't know what even happened with us! But I told him that I wished him the best with his new gf and I didn't wanna interfere with anything so best we no longer talk or hang out, and told him goodbye and no hard feelings. I then had a long hard cry alone.

I don't know what to do I don't know what he is thinking! I seen a picture of the girl on his facebook last night learned that was her and she is very attractive. I then deleted him off my facebook. None of this makes any damn sense!

 

I also learned recently that he had a talk with a friend way before we broke up though and was telling them that he felt as if I was not happy with him, and that I was not attracted to him and they just told me about this talk here recently, and I felt horrible and I have never said anything to him about my attraction to him and he never mentioned it to me! But I don't feel bad anymore now that I know he shacking up that fast with some hot chic!

Edited August 8, 2011 by Misar7

[Misar7]

So is no contact the way to go in this situation? Or should I try to talk to him? He is being very stand offish and not so nice right now...not sure what to do.

[luvsickpuppy]

Wow that's a toughy, I've been reading a lot, that no contact, helps bring back together, when its wanted, and get over when you need to, it seems to be the best policy, but idk if I could. You seem a lot more cool than me, I would have freaked out lol. Best of luck

[Misar7]

Thank You, I think no contact is what I am gonna do..Oh I don't know I am just trying to figure this all out the lines are all blurred and it seemed so sudden he moved so fast with this other woman I mean 6 days... when he was trying so hard to get me pregnant. So confused!

Edited August 9, 2011 by Misar7

[Misar7]

So I found out all about the new girl..she is 23 he is 30 she has tats and piercings total opposite of me! A real pot head loves to drink and smoke and party he hates all that stuff..she broke up with her live in bf less than a year ago. She works at a gas station where he met her I believe..I don't get it..she is attractive though. I wonder if they will get married.

 

It's ok that no one is responding I just need a place to vent and figure this out.

[Misar7]

lol..Well it looks like no one has any advice or anything to say about my situation.

[lalalandman]

hey, just leave him behind. If that's the road he wants to follow, then by all means, go the other way, and don't look back. If he wants to change his mind, well, who knows where you'll be by then. Maybe long gone.