mo mo Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 There is a common belief that as people age, they are more mature. I think it is false. What do you think?
wezol Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 It's false in my opinion too. Maturity comes from many things, how you were raised, life experiences, learning from mistakes, being held accountable for your actions, etc.
smudge21 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Agree with Wezol here. Your life does affect your maturity, and I can give two examples: Two girls I know, both nearly 22, one had the happy pampered home life and never really wanted for anything. Still never even had a job and spends most time deciding what to have at Starbucks. Sweet girl, but totally so innocent and child like in her behaviour. The other girl had a pretty bad childhood when her folks left her alone and she was forced to look after herself. Now at 21 she's already very successful in sales work up and down the country (a tough job for anyone to do), has her own place, done singing, acting, dancing, modelling, travelled a lot and is always the life of the party. I also know one guy who still lived with his parents up until 30, and you could tell his maturity level instantly.
GivenUp0083 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I'd attribute maturity to experiences more than just age. Maturity is not a 'natural' development, but a 'nurture' development as social experiences are would allows us to mature in our thinking and social behavior. I'd say people who have been through good, and most importantly: bad experiences, are ones who have matured the most. Bad experiences can break or ruin a person, but those who overcome adversity are shown to be the ones to build the most character.
Author mo mo Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I bring this up because sometimes friends criticize the age of the women I go after. I'm 30 and I have dated many women in their early 20s. When issues come up they instantly say "you ought to go for someone older, around your age" This might sound like good advice, except I know of plenty women that are around my age or a little older that are still immature. The difference between them and the younger ones though is that there is a much higher chance the older ones have been through a lot of crap and have bad emotional scars.. which usually reveal themselves in shocking ways. My policy is to go after who I am attracted to and evaluate maturity after some convos and outings.
GivenUp0083 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I bring this up because sometimes friends criticize the age of the women I go after. I'm 30 and I have dated many women in their early 20s. When issues come up they instantly say "you ought to go for someone older, around your age" This might sound like good advice, except I know of plenty women that are around my age or a little older that are still immature. The difference between them and the younger ones though is that there is a much higher chance the older ones have been through a lot of crap and have bad emotional scars.. which usually reveal themselves in shocking ways. My policy is to go after who I am attracted to and evaluate maturity after some convos and outings. You've done nothing wrong, I say do what makes you happy. This isn't about the maturity of the women you are dating. The reason WOMEN might say to you "you should go for someone older" is because they are jealous, and they don't want to face the reality that their value is dropping faster than the value of the dollar. They may look at you in disgust and say "how can he go for someone that much younger?" Maybe it's because they didn't pass him up like THOSE women passed up some great guys in their life time, and now no one wants to deal with them. You'd be surprised at how little you want to do with a woman if she is NOT attractive.
youngskywalker Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 LOL, if you could actually be a fly on the wall and hear how 'most' men talk about women when there are no other women present you would understand that the majority of men do not mature with age.
Author mo mo Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 You've done nothing wrong, I say do what makes you happy. This isn't about the maturity of the women you are dating. The reason WOMEN might say to you "you should go for someone older" is because they are jealous, and they don't want to face the reality that their value is dropping faster than the value of the dollar. They may look at you in disgust and say "how can he go for someone that much younger?" Maybe it's because they didn't pass him up like THOSE women passed up some great guys in their life time, and now no one wants to deal with them. You'd be surprised at how little you want to do with a woman if she is NOT attractive. surprised? hahahah, i'm not surprised.. at all
sweetjasmine Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 There is a common belief that as people age, they are more mature. I think it is false. What do you think? I think it's generally true, with some outliers which we tend to notice a lot more than we would those who are towards the middle of the bell curve. The human brain doesn't finish growing and changing until the mid-20s. A 21 year old's brain isn't like a 30 year old's brain no matter how much more serious life experiences the 21 year old has had.
PelicanPete Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Of course it's false. Maturity has something to do with experience and a persons emotional intelligence, which is different in everyone. It is ignorant to measure a persons maturity with their possessions. Having your own place and driving your own car doesn't make you a emotionally mature individual, it just shows that you can afford it. With that logic Bill Gates must be the most mature person that has ever lived . Having responsibility isn't how you indicate maturity, how you deal with the responsibility is.
carhill Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I look at it like wine. With age, it can develop complex and wonderful flavors and be a true gift to the palette or it can turn to vinegar. Age does give one the opportunity to mature. Whether that happens is up to the individual.
Severely Unamused Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 There is a correlation IMO. But you know how it goes, correlation does not imply causation.
Author mo mo Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 You've done nothing wrong, I say do what makes you happy. This isn't about the maturity of the women you are dating. The reason WOMEN might say to you "you should go for someone older" is because they are jealous, and they don't want to face the reality that their value is dropping faster than the value of the dollar. They may look at you in disgust and say "how can he go for someone that much younger?" Maybe it's because they didn't pass him up like THOSE women passed up some great guys in their life time, and now no one wants to deal with them. You'd be surprised at how little you want to do with a woman if she is NOT attractive. I'd just like to add that earlier this year I dated a woman that is a few years older than me, still quite attractive, and yet, she was not any more mature than any of the younger girls I have gone after..
Author mo mo Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I look at it like wine. With age, it can develop complex and wonderful flavors and be a true gift to the palette or it can turn to vinegar. Age does give one the opportunity to mature. Whether that happens is up to the individual. This is precisely how I feel. I don't expect younger people to understand some of the challenges I have gone through, but if they have an open mind and respect wisdom, then it could all work out in the end.
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