Mark1 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have a crush on my college professor. She is 43, looks about 33, and is incredibly intelligent, funny and pleasant. She went to Harvard, and watches football. (How awesome?) She is divorced, but occasionally she has reffered to a "partner." (im assuming this means boyfriend, but once you get to that age, you just say partner, is that correct?) She has a 12 year old son, too. I go into her office hours about once a week. We talk politics, class, sports whatever. Its awesome. I feel comfortable telling her personal things and asking for advice. She helps me a lot on course work too. Last week she came into my work when I wasn't there, she left a note saying she stopped by, which was nice. Anyone have any experiences with student/professor thing? Should I just get this fantasy out of my head?
Arasae Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Hi there, My words of advice: WAIT UNTIL SHE IS NO LONGER YOUR PROFESSOR. Legally, she can't date you until she is not longer in a position of authority. By pursuing the interest while she is still your teacher, you risk getting in trouble for sexual harassment (onegoal's threads, anyone?) and she risks her job. If you do want to pursue something, you MUST wait until that's the case. Patience is your best friend. If you do decide to wait, I would approach her after you're finished, be completely honest, and then choose to honor WHATEVER she says--especially if it's bad news, as it most likely will be. Most teachers experience student crushes on a fairly regular basis; you don't want to be that one student who pushes it too far. I had a crush on a teacher once; lost contact, got back in contact, I was honest with him, and then we had a relationship. It was glorious; if I'd pushed it AT ALL as a student? Never would have happened.
Author Mark1 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I hear ya. I just would hate for her to not want to talk to me again (even if I asked her after I was in her class) because she's been a great help to me.
Lilmisus Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I agree, waiting is the ONLY thing you should do right now. Continue talking to her and keeping this friendly student-teacher relationship going, but don't push it and don't even try flirting with her. Once she is no longer your professor, or maybe even after you've gotten your degree from the school, let her know your feelings. Who knows? Her "partner" and her may split up at that point leaving it wide open for you. But please don't pull a OG here and hand her your heart on a silver platter...not yet anyway. By the way: you tell her age, but what's yours?
Author Mark1 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I agree, waiting is the ONLY thing you should do right now. Continue talking to her and keeping this friendly student-teacher relationship going, but don't push it and don't even try flirting with her. Once she is no longer your professor, or maybe even after you've gotten your degree from the school, let her know your feelings. Who knows? Her "partner" and her may split up at that point leaving it wide open for you. But please don't pull a OG here and hand her your heart on a silver platter...not yet anyway. By the way: you tell her age, but what's yours? Im 22, graduating in Dec. And def wont pull an OG, LOL.
Author Mark1 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 For all you know, her partner might be a woman. My friends and I have considered this, but we don't think so. Plus I think I recall her referring to her partner as a 'he'
Cee Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 She's practically married. Partner is a term for a serious relationship. It means that they have a long-term commitment. People who don't believe in marriage (or not legally allowed to marry) refer to their mates as partners. You have an uphill climb and I don't recommend pursuing her. A friendship is possible and she can serve as a mentor. She can write a letter of recommendation in case you want to go to grad school. Friendships with professors can be helpful. Sometimes life isn't black and white - as in girlfriend or nothing. She could be a teacher and guide for you. And who knows, maybe she has some single friends. Good luck.
Author Mark1 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 She's practically married. Partner is a term for a serious relationship. It means that they have a long-term commitment. People who don't believe in marriage (or not legally allowed to marry) refer to their mates as partners. You have an uphill climb and I don't recommend pursuing her. A friendship is possible and she can serve as a mentor. She can write a letter of recommendation in case you want to go to grad school. Friendships with professors can be helpful. Sometimes life isn't black and white - as in girlfriend or nothing. She could be a teacher and guide for you. And who knows, maybe she has some single friends. Good luck. This is where it is right now, I know Im gonna get a glowing letter of recc from her (she loves talking to the class about something I said or did, or my paper), I think I will have to be okay with this.
P&R Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I was worried this was a onegoal thread when I first saw the title.
Author Mark1 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 I was worried this was a onegoal thread when I first saw the title. After reading it.....am I just as bad?
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