nyrias Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 There is no pressure to get married anywhere. LOL .. you don't know anything. In India, the pressure is called ARRANGED marriage. In China/Hong Kong/Taiwan, parents will often NAG girls who are not married by age 30 or so. Often they will arrange dates for their children, and put pressure for you to go.
David Cain Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 LOL .. you don't know anything. From what you posted above, you obviously can't tell a cat from a dog. In India, the pressure is called ARRANGED marriage. In China/Hong Kong/Taiwan, parents will often NAG girls who are not married by age 30 or so. Often they will arrange dates for their children, and put pressure for you to go. That's not pressure. Those people agreed to those "arrangements" willingly.
nyrias Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 From what you posted above, you obviously can't tell a cat from a dog. That's not pressure. Those people agreed to those "arrangements" willingly. LOL ... you never have your parents nag you and put pressure on you for anything? What world do you live in? La la land? In fact, here is ONE article (there are plenty ... do u know how to google) about pressure to marry in China. http://www.randomwire.com/finding-mrs-right-in-china
David Cain Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 LOL ... you never have your parents nag you and put pressure on you for anything? I never knew my parents. What world do you live in? La la land? Yes I do. In fact, here is ONE article (there are plenty ... do u know how to google) about pressure to marry in China. http://www.randomwire.com/finding-mrs-right-in-china There are no facts in this article.
nyrias Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 I never knew my parents. Yes I do. There are no facts in this article. More like you need an elementary school reading class. I suppose some pop psychology about your childhood and what-not can explain your extremely unrealistic view of the world, and denial of things like simple mathematics. Do you believe pi = 3?
David Cain Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 More like you need an elementary school reading class. Aww I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings about your little articles. I suppose some pop psychology about your childhood and what-not can explain your extremely unrealistic view of the world, and denial of things like simple mathematics. And I suppose telling us about your own childhood and what-not can explain your extremely warped sense of morality, and denial of things like cheating. Do you believe pi = 3? Do you?
HalfAlive22 Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 I really hate the name of this thread..just sayin
MissBee Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 I know of one married woman like that and I basically asked her a similar question. My shoulder has been very dry lately. I learned that she likes to play the victim and so I told her. Don't think she liked it very much, but she needed it. Basically, if you keep staying with someone who treats you like garbage, I'm going to tell you that you like it. Then, you're going to dwell on whether you like it. From that point, you own the whole thing and I am free because you don't want to give me the opportunity to go any further with my theory. Soooo very true! A similar thing happened with a friend of mine, who for the past 5 YEARS, every month she tells me how she has had enough of her dysfunctional relationship and is done, then the next week she is as happy as a lark it seems and acts like she wasn't just crying about the SAME thing she's been crying about every single day. I would be patient and listen and be a shoulder to cry on, until it began draining me and I realized she had ZERO intention of doing anything differently but just liked to complain and cry and it has carried on for years.... I finally told her the truth...so did a bunch of my other friends...and we noticed she stopped discussing her relationship with us. It got to a point where she seemed to get a whole new set of friends as she wore out her welcome on everyone else's shoulders! Now we're casual friends and I like it that way, as before her friendship was really just about me being her counselor.
YeahDotDotDot Posted August 11, 2011 Posted August 11, 2011 Soooo very true! A similar thing happened with a friend of mine, who for the past 5 YEARS, every month she tells me how she has had enough of her dysfunctional relationship and is done, then the next week she is as happy as a lark it seems and acts like she wasn't just crying about the SAME thing she's been crying about every single day. I would be patient and listen and be a shoulder to cry on, until it began draining me and I realized she had ZERO intention of doing anything differently but just liked to complain and cry and it has carried on for years.... I finally told her the truth...so did a bunch of my other friends...and we noticed she stopped discussing her relationship with us. It got to a point where she seemed to get a whole new set of friends as she wore out her welcome on everyone else's shoulders! Now we're casual friends and I like it that way, as before her friendship was really just about me being her counselor. Not so much a counselor, but an emotional toilet-at least for me anyway. BTW, good for you.
Kelemort Posted August 13, 2011 Posted August 13, 2011 Is it about security? Women typically earn less money than men and have other issues that can keep them out of work (like pregnancy/having children). And this is still a society where mothers impose Victorian-era rules on daughters. So much comes down to how to interact with men and how to attract men and how to be 'beautiful.' We pride daughters on how they look, but not on how they act or on who they really are. When a woman dies, the media spouts off, "She was so beautiful." When it comes to men who die, news stories typically discuss how he was funny, he was charitable, etc. These are how people are valued. Men tend to look at women for their appearances; women tend to look to men for financial security. And there's a disparity in numbers, too: in the dating game, men have the advantage. Women outnumber men. Men are more likely to be gay than women are to be lesbians, and the competition becomes even steeper. All other things being equal, the man will find another woman sooner than his ex-girlfriend will find a man. And that can be a scary thing to deal with - once she steps out, she's letting her past go. But to the extent of that kind of treatment these friends are getting? There is nothing wrong with being a single woman who gives paired-up women advice. An outside perspective can be helpful. The next time a friend comes bawling to you, it's time to be firm. "Jeanette, I am so sorry for what you're going through. But I also think it's time we really talk about your relationship with Sean. Every time you take him back, you're reaffirming that it's OK if he treats you badly and cheats on you. The only way you are going to be able to set this straight is if you start setting limits and stick to them. I think you should leave. I love you and I hate seeing you in this sort of situation." You may have friends who will defend their cheating jerks to the bitter end, even going to the extent of breaking off friendships with you. But at least you won't get a weekly or monthly phone call when the next friend finds out she's got an unfaithful jerkbag again at home.
Goldenspoon Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? Are their husbands/boyfriend black? I am just curious.
bentnotbroken Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Are their husbands/boyfriend black? I am just curious. What does black( or green, white, yellow, tangerine) have to do with anything?
nyrias Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 What does black( or green, white, yellow, tangerine) have to do with anything? Research has shown the marriage & infidelity characteristics change over race.
bentnotbroken Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Research has shown the marriage & infidelity characteristics change over race. Yes, I am aware of that. As well as SES brackets, gender and age.
nyrias Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Yes, I am aware of that. As well as SES brackets, gender and age. Then you answer you own question.
bentnotbroken Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Then you answer you own question. I asked the question of the person who wanted to know the race. I didn't expect you to be able to answer it for him. I wish to know that posters thought process. I am well aware of your train of thought (stats) on most subjects.
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