Chi townD Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Not everyone. In fact, the math is quite clear on that. There is roughly a 1 to 1 ratio of men to women. The cheating rate is different for men and women. Thus, there are a different number of honest men and women. And i think more women than men (cheating rate is higher in men than women in almost all studies). Thus, there is NOT enough honest men for every honest women in this nation. So no ... i do not believe your argument is sound. It is touchy feeling and gives hope. But in the cold real world, there are just not enough honest men. Now, a prettier BS will certainly beat the 300 lb fat one who cannot get a date (and don't give me the crap about personality, studies have clearly shown that men respond to physical attractiveness), so a BS needs to correctly assess her own chances at the dating market. However, obviously not ALL OF THEM would find a good men in the end. Recent studies have show that the amount of woman that are cheating have grown to alarming rates in the last couple of years. I still believe that IF you have a woman that is 300lbs, she may have gotten that way BECAUSE of esteem issues. I agree that men do look at attractiveness in the opposite sex. But, so do woman. These women do have a choice when they think that they don't. They have the opportunity to change in their lives. To loose weight, gain back there self confidence and self respect. Once they've achieved that then, game on. They DON'T have to sit back and take it because, "that's their lot in life."
Richard Friedman Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 When a man cheats it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love their wives. They just are horny have poor impulse control. I know men who'd put their life on the line for their wives who still are unfaithful. They find their wives attractive and love them. Just like a bit of extra on the side as well. When a woman cheats though it generally means she's lost all respect/feelings for their husband.
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 When a man cheats it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love their wives. They just are horny have poor impulse control. I know men who'd put their life on the line for their wives who still are unfaithful. They find their wives attractive and love them. Just like a bit of extra on the side as well. When a woman cheats though it generally means she's lost all respect/feelings for their husband. If that is love....peddle it somewhere else and if he will put his life on the line...hurry up so the insurance money can come through.
Cabin Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Considering women initiate 75% of divorces, I would say fewer and fewer women are content to stay miserable in their marriages. I don't know that it's a gender thing so much as a personality thing. Certain people are hardwired to be doormats. Others are hardwired to value commitment above all else. Others are simply too meek to venture into the unknown outside their disintegrating marriage. There are plenty of men who could be described by the above.
ShameOnU Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I believe alot of women stay because of competitiveness...Not wanting to lose their men to the dreaded other women.. So they put up with it because the dont want any other women getting what is theirs.
Damia Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I believe alot of women stay because of competitiveness...Not wanting to lose their men to the dreaded other women.. So they put up with it because the dont want any other women getting what is theirs. For me the above was apart of staying with a serial cheater ,also the hope that he would one day see the light and realize what a great wife he had. Yea I no, in hindsight how stupid could I be! The uncertainty of not knowing if I would be better off with or with out him in the future.Money and lifestyle plays a part. The past also plays a roll ,he was not always the uncaring jerk he is now. As with most things It always looks a whole lot different when you are living it to when you step away and look back on your poor choices. I think there is a saying about walking a day in someone shoes before you judge them. Aaliyah next time your friends cry about their relationships suggest the get a perspective from a good psychologist it certainly opened my eyes
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I believe alot of women stay because of competitiveness...Not wanting to lose their men to the dreaded other women.. So they put up with it because the dont want any other women getting what is theirs. Compete for what a butt stain?
David Cain Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I think you've made some huge generalizations in your post based on two women you know. The reasons people stay or don't stay are as varied as the day is long. Is your scenario correct? Sometimes, but for you to assume it applies to everyone else is ignorant on your part. No, most of that post was on target. You're the one generalizing here.
y2k Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Yes. They are scared and those women have a low self esteem. Women who stay with their husbands after their husbands cheated on them DESERVE all the pain and heartache that's coming to them. Women (and even some men) need to learn that when your spouse cheats, it's time to LEAVE and start over. I also get angry seeing these married women who stay with their cheating husbands. Great post. Really? They deserve the pain. Well thank God we don't all get what we deserve or a whole lot of us would be up shyt creek without paddle. I said that the women who STAY with their husbands after their husband has cheated on them deserve the pain they get AFTER because they chose that route by staying with the loser. If your husband cheats on you, logic says you should dump him because he'll do it again.
Woggle Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Compete for what a butt stain? If other women desire that butt stain it tends to have high value.
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I said that the women who STAY with their husbands after their husband has cheated on them deserve the pain they get AFTER because they chose that route by staying with the loser. If your husband cheats on you, logic says you should dump him because he'll do it again. I read what you said, I understood what you said the first time. I stand by my post.
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 If other women desire that butt stain it tends to have high value. Touche' Woggle:lmao:
YeahDotDotDot Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I said that the women who STAY with their husbands after their husband has cheated on them deserve the pain they get AFTER because they chose that route by staying with the loser. If your husband cheats on you, logic says you should dump him because he'll do it again. I second this notion for myself, but I can not judge someone else who wants to give their marriage a second shot. If there is an affair involved, I would certainly have to think long and hard about trying to forgive. I mean some carry on for years.
YeahDotDotDot Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? I know of one married woman like that and I basically asked her a similar question. My shoulder has been very dry lately. I learned that she likes to play the victim and so I told her. Don't think she liked it very much, but she needed it. Basically, if you keep staying with someone who treats you like garbage, I'm going to tell you that you like it. Then, you're going to dwell on whether you like it. From that point, you own the whole thing and I am free because you don't want to give me the opportunity to go any further with my theory.
nyrias Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Recent studies have show that the amount of woman that are cheating have grown to alarming rates in the last couple of years. I still believe that IF you have a woman that is 300lbs, she may have gotten that way BECAUSE of esteem issues. I agree that men do look at attractiveness in the opposite sex. But, so do woman. These women do have a choice when they think that they don't. They have the opportunity to change in their lives. To loose weight, gain back there self confidence and self respect. Once they've achieved that then, game on. They DON'T have to sit back and take it because, "that's their lot in life." No one says she has to take it. I am only disputing the flawed logic that EVERY ONE of them can find better men. There are not enough better men out there, by very clear numbers. She can always remain single and not taking it at all. The choices are: 1) stay with a cheater 2) risk to be single, and have some chance of a better man (and clearly not certain), and also risk the next one is a cheater. And it does not matter HOW she got to 300 lb. And if you think losing weight is a "choice", well ... obviously there are a lot of women out there exercising the choice of being fat & unattractive. Just read the latest obese statistics. The world is pretty cruel. Sure they have choices but finding a better man is not always an option.
HalfAlive22 Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I said that the women who STAY with their husbands after their husband has cheated on them deserve the pain they get AFTER because they chose that route by staying with the loser. If your husband cheats on you, logic says you should dump him because he'll do it again. So you were cheated on i asewome? And left? I supose your right to sime degree,my husband physically abused me and cheated and i stayed,so when he gave me a cincussion i guess i deserved it,just like he will deserve jail when he kills me :/ right?
Woggle Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Touche' Woggle:lmao: I should do an experiment. Put a man with a turd on his head inside a club and pay some women to make out with him and see how many women want to follow suit. Even give him a wedding ring and watch it double.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I should do an experiment. Put a man with a turd on his head inside a club and pay some women to make out with him and see how many women want to follow suit. Even give him a wedding ring and watch it double. It's mind boggling how many women who ignore you while single suddenly want you when your married. Actually when I announced my engagement I received 3 love letters in a month from women I considered good friends.
Woggle Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 It's mind boggling how many women who ignore you while single suddenly want you when your married. Actually when I announced my engagement I received 3 love letters in a month from women I considered good friends. This is so true. Wearing a wedding ring is a woman magnet. My wife is lucky I would never think about cheating because I have had plenty of chances.
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 To the point of the original post. Women who put up with multiple infidelities usually have $trong incentive$ to $tay in the marriage.
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 I should do an experiment. Put a man with a turd on his head inside a club and pay some women to make out with him and see how many women want to follow suit. Even give him a wedding ring and watch it double. :lmao::lmao: That will be one for the journals.
blissfullyoblivious Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 To the point of the original post. Women who put up with multiple infidelities usually have $trong incentive$ to $tay in the marriage. So true. Some BS claim true love... but I doubt very few are that self sacrificing. It must be soul destroying to know that each and every reconciliation will be false. The remorse that the BS think they see is merely wishful thinking. Perhaps the BS learns to compartmentalise as well...eventually. I see few posts from BS that have WS as serial cheaters. They know what that no sympahhy is available for enablers.
SillyS Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 It's gotta be multiple things. They don't want to let their marriage fail, they will feel like failures and thus this will make them alone to deal with all the complications of being single. It's like a domino effect of things, they care about how this looks to their friends, family, children if they are involved and furthermore its hard for them to come to terms with the fact that they do not have a happily ever after situation. That they made a mistake, and that that mistake sleeps next to them every night or sleeps somewhere every night. Married women, I have a few friends, feel pity on us non-married girls, and they find that their situation or status is above anything we could really fathom. Therefore, advice of the logical kind is sometimes not understood by them anyway. They are simply willing to take a lot more crap from their men, because of the little ring and license they signed and that's a shame to me but that's the truth of the situation.
nyrias Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Married women, I have a few friends, feel pity on us non-married girls, and they find that their situation or status is above anything we could really fathom. Therefore, advice of the logical kind is sometimes not understood by them anyway. They are simply willing to take a lot more crap from their men, because of the little ring and license they signed and that's a shame to me but that's the truth of the situation. Different people value different things. Honesty in a man is not the highest most important thing for many women. In Asia, the pressure to marry and stay in marriage is much higher than here. At the same time, if you are in business, getting a girl is quite easy (i have frds doing business in china, they were telling me stories you would never believe). So lots of wives are putting up with affairs as long as they are not long term nor serious.
David Cain Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Different people value different things. Honesty in a man is not the highest most important thing for many women. Really? Care to back that up with a link? And even if that is true, a woman's needs are not the most important thing in a relationship. In Asia, the pressure to marry and stay in marriage is much higher than here. At the same time, if you are in business, getting a girl is quite easy (i have frds doing business in china, they were telling me stories you would never believe). So lots of wives are putting up with affairs as long as they are not long term nor serious. There is no pressure to get married anywhere.
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