Aaliyah1983 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent??
bentnotbroken Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? Is this for the general populous of women or just the dumb married ones you know?
Chi townD Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Hey, door swings both ways here. There are more and more women that cheat and some survey's speculate that women cheat more tham men do. Yet, you'll read stories here about guys trying to keep their marriages together. Cheating isn't gender specific.
Author Aaliyah1983 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 @chi-town d..True but Come on if a man is cheated on It messes with their ego..Im sure if one of my friend cheated on their spouse they would'nt hesitate about it..Usually its the women who stays and puts up with it.
KathyM Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? I think most women would not put up with a cheating spouse. I think that's one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high. I think there are two types of women that knowingly stay with serial cheaters--ones that think that marriage is forever and that anything and everything can be forgiven, over and over; and ones who don't want to give up the security of a marriage.
Woggle Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 @chi-town d..True but Come on if a man is cheated on It messes with their ego..Im sure if one of my friend cheated on their spouse they would'nt hesitate about it..Usually its the women who stays and puts up with it. It hurts just as much for a man to be cheated on. I don't think anybody should put up with being cheated on.
Author Aaliyah1983 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I was speaking in general terms..Its because of what I have seen a majority of the time.
bentnotbroken Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I was speaking in general terms..Its because of what I have seen a majority of the time. Thanks for clearing that up. Maybe expanding the range of people you deal with will change what you see...or not.
Author Aaliyah1983 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 @bentnotBroken..If it were u in a situation like that what would you do? Im sure their are faithful husbands out there.. But i have been single a long time..And I have had MANY married and commited men hit on me..I've never entertained it because its very disrespectful..With that being said i think married women sometimes deal with lots of negative things to keep their marriage.
Memphis Raines Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? they shouldn't be scared. because if they are worried about being alone, they need to know, there are good single men, who were in the same situation with cheating wives, that would be ecstatic to find a good woman who shares the same values of fidelity and a loving relationship.
Chi townD Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Perphaps they don't leave because they have low self esteem. They feel like that can't do better for themselves. Therefore, they put up with the pain and the disrespect for fear of being alone.
bentnotbroken Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 @bentnotBroken..If it were u in a situation like that what would you do? Im sure their are faithful husbands out there.. But i have been single a long time..And I have had MANY married and commited men hit on me..I've never entertained it because its very disrespectful..With that being said i think married women sometimes deal with lots of negative things to keep their marriage. I know as many men who are married who deal with a lot of negative things to keep their marriages and children. It is two way street as someone pointed out earlier. I too have had married men hit on me. Well not so much as hit on me but come right out and say they were willing to help me get "even" with Mr. messy for cheating. I have been around here long enough and other sites to see how many women do the same thing. The OW Mr. Messy was involved with was married. Hell as far as I know the last 3 were married(one asking him to do the deed to get even with her husband) I have lived long enough to know that what women consider male only traits aren't true and what men consider women only traits aren't true either. There are dumbazzes in both genders and I would say they are running neck and neck.
HalfAlive22 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Its not black and white! None of these reasons applied to me,i just refused to ket the "dumb" young single girl win! Plus we loved eachother and I won in the end..
nyrias Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? Not everyone wants to be single & lonely. Obviously some of them prefers half (or whatever percentage) of a man to the possibility of no man at all. This is also culture dependent. I believe in some of the business communities in China, I heard stories that wives are putting up with husband going out to play, and wont make a fuzz as long as there is no other serious relationships.
nyrias Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Perphaps they don't leave because they have low self esteem. They feel like that can't do better for themselves. Therefore, they put up with the pain and the disrespect for fear of being alone. And may be it is true. May be they cannot get better men and have to live with the choice between cheaters or no one at all.
Chi townD Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 And may be it is true. May be they cannot get better men and have to live with the choice between cheaters or no one at all. No, I truely believe that they COULD find better men. However, they may FEEL like they can't due to low self esteem. They don't have the courage to end a toxic relationship and find better connections with someone else.
nyrias Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 No, I truely believe that they COULD find better men. However, they may FEEL like they can't due to low self esteem. They don't have the courage to end a toxic relationship and find better connections with someone else. Not everyone. In fact, the math is quite clear on that. There is roughly a 1 to 1 ratio of men to women. The cheating rate is different for men and women. Thus, there are a different number of honest men and women. And i think more women than men (cheating rate is higher in men than women in almost all studies). Thus, there is NOT enough honest men for every honest women in this nation. So no ... i do not believe your argument is sound. It is touchy feeling and gives hope. But in the cold real world, there are just not enough honest men. Now, a prettier BS will certainly beat the 300 lb fat one who cannot get a date (and don't give me the crap about personality, studies have clearly shown that men respond to physical attractiveness), so a BS needs to correctly assess her own chances at the dating market. However, obviously not ALL OF THEM would find a good men in the end.
David Cain Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Not everyone. In fact, the math is quite clear on that. There is roughly a 1 to 1 ratio of men to women. The cheating rate is different for men and women. Thus, there are a different number of honest men and women. And i think more women than men (cheating rate is higher in men than women in almost all studies). Thus, there is NOT enough honest men for every honest women in this nation. So no ... i do not believe your argument is sound. It is touchy feeling and gives hope. But in the cold real world, there are just not enough honest men. Now, a prettier BS will certainly beat the 300 lb fat one who cannot get a date (and don't give me the crap about personality, studies have clearly shown that men respond to physical attractiveness), so a BS needs to correctly assess her own chances at the dating market. However, obviously not ALL OF THEM would find a good men in the end. And that whole paragraph is false.
nyrias Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 And that whole paragraph is false. Which statement is false? The fact that there are a 1 to 1 ratio of men to women? The fact that the cheating rate is higher in men than women? If those two facts are correct, the math is pretty much self-evident if you are even a primary school education.
David Cain Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Which statement is false? The fact that there are a 1 to 1 ratio of men to women? The fact that the cheating rate is higher in men than women? If those two facts are correct, the math is pretty much self-evident if you are even a primary school education. Again, false.
y2k Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I have been curious about this for a while...I have 3 friend's that have been in commited relationships pretty much all their adult lives...Two of them are Married and one has been with the same guy for 10 years.. Now one of the issues they have in common..Their husbands have cheated on them repeatedly and they keep taking them back everytime.. The reason why It bothers me so much Is because I'm always the on who's shoulder they cry on..I would give them advice..But I'm single and I do believe that single women should'nt be giving maried / commited women advice...Eventhough I think they are silly and foolish for putting up with it..I know it sounds harsh but thats how i feel.. I think that the women who usually become the wife put up with SOOO much bull**** just to keep a man...Why is it so hard for women to love themselves first..Is it because they are so scared of being single and Independent?? Yes. They are scared and those women have a low self esteem. Women who stay with their husbands after their husbands cheated on them DESERVE all the pain and heartache that's coming to them. Women (and even some men) need to learn that when your spouse cheats, it's time to LEAVE and start over. I also get angry seeing these married women who stay with their cheating husbands. Great post.
bentnotbroken Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Yes. They are scared and those women have a low self esteem. Women who stay with their husbands after their husbands cheated on them DESERVE all the pain and heartache that's coming to them. Women (and even some men) need to learn that when your spouse cheats, it's time to LEAVE and start over. I also get angry seeing these married women who stay with their cheating husbands. Great post. Really? They deserve the pain. Well thank God we don't all get what we deserve or a whole lot of us would be up shyt creek without paddle.
Memphis Raines Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Not everyone wants to be single & lonely. after coming off a marriage with a cheating wife, single, but dating, works well for me. and even though i believe in the foundation of marriage, I'll never get married again.
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