Easyguy14 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 just wondering from both male and female perspectives if someone you're not initially interested in or haven't really thought about can create some attraction on your end. I've heard of it happening but unsure of how true it actually is. if so, how does it work?
vsmini Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Yea - 3 LTR's of mine stemmed from guys I had known through school, work and friends and wasn't interested in at first but knew or thought they were good guys (for the most part they were). Can't tell you how it really worked. I guess I just got to know them better and when I really dug into their personalities the attraction happened. It didn't take a long time - but probably 3-4 actual dates before I really started to feel it. I always go out on 2nd and 3rd dates with guys (unless they are absolute jerks or pigs) even if I don't get that "spark" and I've never regretted it. I'm a poster woman for giving a guy an honest shot. Like I said before - I've never regretted doing so and most of the time it worked out wonderfully.
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 Yea - 3 LTR's of mine stemmed from guys I had known through school, work and friends and wasn't interested in at first but knew or thought they were good guys (for the most part they were). Can't tell you how it really worked. I guess I just got to know them better and when I really dug into their personalities the attraction happened. It didn't take a long time - but probably 3-4 actual dates before I really started to feel it. I always go out on 2nd and 3rd dates with guys (unless they are absolute jerks or pigs) even if I don't get that "spark" and I've never regretted it. I'm a poster woman for giving a guy an honest shot. Like I said before - I've never regretted doing so and most of the time it worked out wonderfully. wow thats rare. are you in your 20s or 30s? so often older women would give more of a honest chance even after not feeling initial sparks on the first date.
vsmini Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 wow thats rare. are you in your 20s or 30s? so often older women would give more of a honest chance even after not feeling initial sparks on the first date. Late twenties. I've actually found some of my older friends (forties +) give the guys the least amount of chances. I don't know the rhyme or reason to it. Some people figure it out early and others never get the chance. My last relationship really opened my eyes up to the myth of chemistry. I love romance and believe in love - I'm not cynical or bitter. But I've seen it with countless other girls and myself get involved with JERKS who treat them awful but stick around because "gee....we have such great chemistry!." Yea - OK.
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 Late twenties. I've actually found some of my older friends (forties +) give the guys the least amount of chances. I don't know the rhyme or reason to it. Some people figure it out early and others never get the chance. My last relationship really opened my eyes up to the myth of chemistry. I love romance and believe in love - I'm not cynical or bitter. But I've seen it with countless other girls and myself get involved with JERKS who treat them awful but stick around because "gee....we have such great chemistry!." Yea - OK. I like your positive vibe. I kind of figured maybe late 20s. its just a natural maturity that you have. maybe its inherent? can I message you privately? Im interested in talking to you about some stuff since we're both in new york and see the same kinds of people Im sure.
vsmini Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 I like your positive vibe. I kind of figured maybe late 20s. its just a natural maturity that you have. maybe its inherent? can I message you privately? Im interested in talking to you about some stuff since we're both in new york and see the same kinds of people Im sure. I don't think you're able to since you're a newer member. I don't give out my personal email since it has my full name in the title and YOU'RE A STRANGER! haha jk. You are welcome to PM me once LS lets you - I think you have to be a member for over a month or so. Maturity came from a few crappy experiences. Experiences that sucked and left me heartbroken but experiences I needed to have and am thankful for. I learned how to grow up, stop using guys as validation badges, ask for what I want, and give what I can. This mixed with my agreement to give dates 2-3 chances landed me in the great relationship I'm in now. *steps off soapbox*
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 I don't think you're able to since you're a newer member. I don't give out my personal email since it has my full name in the title and YOU'RE A STRANGER! haha jk. You are welcome to PM me once LS lets you - I think you have to be a member for over a month or so. Maturity came from a few crappy experiences. Experiences that sucked and left me heartbroken but experiences I needed to have and am thankful for. I learned how to grow up, stop using guys as validation badges, ask for what I want, and give what I can. This mixed with my agreement to give dates 2-3 chances landed me in the great relationship I'm in now. *steps off soapbox* its true I am a stranger. it would be unwise to just hand out info that has your full name in it. your caution is commended. and you were right about being unable to message anyone yet since Im a recent registerer but I will definitely send you messages when I get the chance to do so. you so far have been the most interesting woman to chat with and also surprisingly the only person to reply to this thread.
zengirl Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Can a guy I'm definitely not interested in create interest? No. But there are a lot of girls, myself included, who don't need fireworks on Date 1 or anything. Interest is relative. Certainly learning things about a guy can increase or decrease my interest.
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 19, 2011 Author Posted August 19, 2011 Can a guy I'm definitely not interested in create interest? No. But there are a lot of girls, myself included, who don't need fireworks on Date 1 or anything. Interest is relative. Certainly learning things about a guy can increase or decrease my interest. so since there's an ounce of attraction initially, interest can further grow or decline. makes sense. thanks for your input.
Dust Posted August 19, 2011 Posted August 19, 2011 Yes you can generate interest. If I had to wait for a girl to some how magically be interested in me I’d never get dates. It’s very rare for an attractive girl to just throw herself at me. So yes little things like trying to talk to them, then flirting, and asking them out can set the seeds of interest. Romantic maneuvers like hand holding and kissing can water that seed. Then if things keep working out your relationship grows real fast at first and hopefully the growing pains don’t kill it. All figuratively speaking of course. I’ve had girls who probably thought nothing or little of me, heck were even creeped out by me turned around by my intentions. Bottom line go for what you want in life and don’t be your own cage/ gate keeper. You shape it all through your perception any ways.
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