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First time having feelings after a breakup and I think I ruined it


california15

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california15

(right section to post this?) Well... first guy I started having feelings for after my ex and I tried it, but my dating skills suck as you will obviously see. He and I have been friends since 2006. Best best best friends back then. We stopped talking in 2008 and restarted talking in 2010.

 

He invited me to visit for a weekend, so I flew down and saw him. It was great, hanging out like old times. Then I got drunk the last night and told him that I've always lked him, wanted to be with him and date him and he's perfect and I'd regret it if I never got to be with him etc. To which his sober response was pretty much, "Thanks but we'll never be together ever. I don't like you like that. Nothing is going to change that. We're friends and thats all our relationship is ever going to be. Forget about it."

 

So the following (sober) morning I tried to explain why I felt the way I did and stuff and that I liked him. I cried when I left and I think that freaked him out. When I got home that night I called a few times (because he didn't pick up) and said when he finally did, I said Sorry, that I didn't want our friendship to be weird now etc and he said "It wont be, but stop trying to get in touch with me so much and just leave it alone"

 

And this morning because I felt so bad I sent like 5 texts apologizing and no response. I don't want to lose his friendship over this. He's awesome. I just feel like he's always going to look at me different and be scared to talk to me or see me again because of this. (and thats pretty much what I said in my texts)

 

I just wish I could forget the whole thing and that I could take it all back.

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