SillyS Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I think often times, even regardless of family and friends, I try to make calls regarding relationships on my own. And I'd like to break that cycle with some help from any of you that are willing to read my story here, and give me some words of wisdom to help me understand and realize what I should do in the future with regard to him. We met, but most of our relationship was long distance. We became close through msn really, as I had a boring job that required little from me, and he was on leave from work due to serious health problems. We talked a lot, about his health, about his family and about his past. He was very negative about everything, and I tried to get him to be more positive about his future, and his eyes got better and he was able to head back to work after 7 months of leave. I listened to him, and after a while, he told me he loved me and would like to spent his life with me. Up until me, he had never been with any woman for more than 3 months and they had all left him (and used him). He is always the victim remember. Fastforward a few more months, and he started keeping things to himself. He would show how angry or upset he is, but not notify me of the things that are bothering him. I try to be patient through that as well, helping him see that communication is the key if we were to work. I grow more attached to him, and start to love him more everyday. We had some great times, he was always there when I needed him, and after visiting him in xmas and him coming to europe to visit me, I thought things would get to the next level rather soon. But after his visit to Europe, and tells me that he feels that I had been very passive aggressive with him and that I projected a lot of guilt onto him about possibly moving and seeing each other. I never knew that he didn't want to move, but he simply didn't tell me how he felt about things, so I always wanted to influence his decisions, decisions that were already made for us. He started telling me that he didn't want to marry soon, and that his mother helped him reach that decision. None of these were signs for me, because I was started to really adjust and feel comfortable about the future and for me, there was nothing we couldn't fight together. But he was growing more angry with me everyday. He was unhappy at work, had a lot of financial problems, and was moving to add to more stress. But even when I tried to change these traits, and communicate exactly what I was thinking or doing, he would still find ways to find fault with me or hate on me. In all of May, I was getting the blunt of his frustrations and in June I learned to walk on egg shells. I don't understand what happened, where did things change, what happened to cause the change? Then I finished school, and visited him. I burned my arm ironing his clothes, went grocery shopping and even tried to clean the apartment for him. Just trying my best to be there for him in the areas that he was unhappy with. Then I said to him on gmail while he was working, you know sweety, we don't have to see each other for a year till you or I feel ready financially to handle the burden. I was saying to him, that I love and care about him so much that ill wait for him to help relieve stress out of his life. He comes home that afternoon from work, and gives me a changed plane ticket to my parents, and cab fare and tells me he wants me gone out of his life. We had even had a good time on the 3 days I was there. I didn't understand what I had done, and even in all my faults, I don't get why he would treat me that badly after being together for 2 years. Now, I'm trying to move on with my life. But sometimes I think, he was very stressed out and I added to his stress and thus its all my fault. He told me that I hurt him too much, and that he doesn't want anything with me. I will have to talk to him soon about practical things, and I don't know if I should do what he wants and that is cut him out of his life as he has done to me. But part of me says, here is this person that has never been in love, that has never had anyone really care about them all that much, and their fear and anger pushes them to do something they wouldn't do normally. So should I try to be nice to him, and forgive him in the future to pursue a friendship or should I after NC (which i do already), cut my own losses and move on?
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