john1988 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 6 months now but im worried about one or two things. The first time she met my friends she got extremely drunk as she was nervous and ended up dancing and flirting with another guy on the dance floor and just the other day we were up at one of my mates the other day again she got extremely drunk and started sitting like a slut, acting flirty and being disrespectful to me I thought infront of everyone. She claims to be madly in love with me but I've had a similar thing happen to me before which ended in an ex cheating on me several times behind my back and it destroyed me. I don't want it to happen again i worry now what shes up to when im not about. This new girl is a doctor and I guess at times I feel slightly intimidated, she's also had a cancer scare recently and that's why I've excused her actions somewhat however I have mentioned it she seems apologetic but doesn't do much about it. Basically I love this girl but I'm terrified that she'll break my heart are these red flags I should worry about? Has anyone been through anything similar or any advice you can give me would be appreciated
smudge21 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 6 months is long enough to sit her down and have it out with her. She says she loves you, so clearly you have a right to express your feelings. That said, I've dated women who are very flirty (one was a table dancer, so it was part of her job) and even though she acted that way and enjoyed the attention, she was 100% loyal during our time together. I guess it all comes down to trust and respect - you need those things if the relationship is going to survive so talk to her.
rafallus Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 With people like that you need to play hardball, so they won't dare to disrespect you in your face. And if they still want to do it behind your back, you know they were no good.
Woggle Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Is somebody who gets drunk on a regular basis and can't control themselves worth the trouble.
Yookie Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 What is "sitting like a slut?" Legs open? Sounds like she has an alcohol problem. Does she act slutty sober too? Is she fully aware of her behavior while drunk? She might not remember everything. Give her all the embarassing details and try to find out if she realizes she has a serious problem and most important, is she willing to get help.
creighton0123 Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 The solution is simple. Communicate with her that you feel inadequate when she drinks in excess, that doing so is not good for her long term health, and that you would much rather be able to go out with her and have fun while not drinking as much. If she can't do something as simple as have two less drinks when you both go out together, she is either an alcoholic or doesn't really care about you as much as she claims. Asking a significant other to drink less when out at social events isn't an unreasonable request. You should also respond in a consistent way and drink less as well, otherwise you run the risk of flipping the roles.
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