Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 I forgot to mention she invited me on sunday to go volunteer at this place we used to go every week together. We used to go volunteer there then have our date night. She asked me if I wanted to go next week. Neither of us have been there months and its kind of a special place for us. I was just wondering what you guys thought of that. Is this her trying to work on us? We had broke up for like 2 weeks previously and that is the place we went to reconcile last time. Do you think this is what's happening this time? Thanks again for the replies.
NursingGirl Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Maybe you should ask her. Yes, and if she can't answer, tell her you would rather wait until she CAN answer you and then go no contact. However, according to your last statement that you would be ok with a FWB situation, I think I have given you more credit than you deserve regarding your character and your feelings for her. It doesn't appear that you love her so why do you care how she feels about you? I'm confused.
Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Yes, and if she can't answer, tell her you would rather wait until she CAN answer you and then go no contact. However, according to your last statement that you would be ok with a FWB situation, I think I have given you more credit than you deserve regarding your character and your feelings for her. It doesn't appear that you love her so why do you care how she feels about you? I'm confused. Sex and love are completely different. They do not go hand in hand. I love this girl to death but im also a man. We like naked women and when a hot one offers it up we usually don't decline. That being said I would trade the sex for a relationship without hesitation.
Pierre Posted August 14, 2011 Posted August 14, 2011 Sex and love are completely different. They do not go hand in hand. I love this girl to death but im also a man. We like naked women and when a hot one offers it up we usually don't decline. That being said I would trade the sex for a relationship without hesitation. Men say that all the time, but quite often fall in love after a few rolls in the hay (no different than women). Sex in a vacuum is boring and the only reason to go back to a woman that offers sex in a vacuum is romance. Men that have sex with no attachment and keep coming back for more are generally devoid if something that completes our humanity.
Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Posted August 14, 2011 Thanks again Pierre. I was just wondering what you thought about the post about going to volunteer together. Do you think this is a sign she wants things to work out? It was sort of our special place when we were together.
strawberryshortstack Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Just out of curiosity Shy, did you read the first page with the note she wrote me? I don't know if that changes your opinion at all. Im not saying you are wrong or anything, that note just makes me think she does want to work on things and get her kicks too. I did read it, yes. But those were just words, and words don't always mean anything. I speak from experience. I tried getting back together with an ex once myself. He told me how much he missed me, and how he wanted to give the relationship another shot. He paid for me to fly out to his home. We were intimate, and the "relationship" went nowhere. Once I was back home, the only time he ever spoke to me was when he was horny and wanted me to visit him again, only this time, he didn't offer to pay for the trip. Now, my situation might be a bit different due to the distance, but I'll say this - if you decide to go ahead with this...protect yourself - both emotionally and with condoms. You can't know that she won't be sleeping with other men as well.
Pierre Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Thanks again Pierre. I was just wondering what you thought about the post about going to volunteer together. Do you think this is a sign she wants things to work out? It was sort of our special place when we were together. She is into you, no doubt. But, that does not change the fact that there may be something that bothers her about you. At least she likes you in a sexual manner.
Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Thanks again for the responses. I know there are things about me that bother her...that is why we broke up lol. The main thing was me being lazy and not doing enough for her. 3 months ago I would have disagreed. However after looking back on the relationship she was right. I have made at least the change of not being so lazy. I have my motivation back and am getting my business started that I have been planning for like a year. And the best part is I am doing it all for me. If she wants to come along for the ride then that's great. But im not going to let love get in the way of my sucess this time. The not doing enough for her part I can only show her as we work on things. I used to think I did a lot for her. But after looking back I was very wrong. I feel horrible for that. I always had good intentions but never actually followed through. And she just texted me as I am writing this telling me how excited she is for the first day of school today. I really hope this work out. And even if all she wants is a fwb im hoping, like pierre said, after a few rolls in the hay her heart will end up back in it.
Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 Well we just got finished hanging for about 1 1/2 hours. She was on a break from her classes and brought over some pizza for us. We just sat and talked about what was going on in our lives and she said she missed me. We didn't kiss or anything, just hung out together and talked. It was really nice. A little flirting here and there with her touching my leg and whatnot, but mainly just talked about what we've been up to these last months. When she was leaving she told me she enjoyed our time together and we gave each other a hug for a good 30 seconds. So things went well and hopefully I will have more good news in the near future.
dreamingoftigers Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I think that she might be pulling a "me." She was testing you out after she left that note to feel out your intentions. If you would have said yes to a friendship, she would have asked for benefits next. Since you said no to a friendship, she got shaky and threw in the benefits because she damn well knows those benefits draw you back in She wants her love back. But she doesn't want to invest too much upfront. Plus its awkward because she was the dumper and most dumpees would be pissed. Stay true to yourself. Expect to get tested a little on the lazy thing. :love:
DeusExMachina Posted August 18, 2011 Posted August 18, 2011 I suggest you two figure out and discuss why your relationship failed the first time. Without addressing the reason for the break up civilly and constructively you will repeat the same mistakes over. Probably not what you want to do, but if nothing changed from before and no one is willing to make changes it is doomed to fail again. I wish you the best of luck.
Author just_a_guy__99 Posted August 18, 2011 Author Posted August 18, 2011 I think that she might be pulling a "me." She was testing you out after she left that note to feel out your intentions. If you would have said yes to a friendship, she would have asked for benefits next. Since you said no to a friendship, she got shaky and threw in the benefits because she damn well knows those benefits draw you back in She wants her love back. But she doesn't want to invest too much upfront. Plus its awkward because she was the dumper and most dumpees would be pissed. Stay true to yourself. Expect to get tested a little on the lazy thing. :love: Im hoping this is what's going on. She sent me a text earlier just to tell me she got out of class early and told me about it. We texted back and forth a few times after that and then I let her get to her homework. I sent a text just a few minutes ago telling her good night and maybe I will see her at work if she is still there when I get there. She sent one back back tellin me sweet dreams and it was good seeing me. I hope things continue like this!
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