nyrias Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 ...precisely because she doesn't have a conscience 2 tell herself that she "may not." How so? Maybe she had morals? Maybe she had values? Maybe she wants 2 restore her integrity? I highly doubt some random rhetorical questions on the internet would be the tipping point for her to restore her morals & integrity.
Holding-On Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 #2 is your "IDEAL guy" at the moment because you are an alcoholic. Think about it. #2 represents the easy way, the hook, the high. He's going to help you relapse over and over and that looks very tempting because NOT drinking when you are an alcoholic is hard. Not drinking beats the alternative. And I think you know that. If you were truly sober and wanting to be sober all the time, would #2 be your ideal man? I see no point to continue seeing #1. You don't find the sex to be as appealing. He isn't someone you really want. It is purely selfish of you. He is NOT your possession. I know you like the fantasy of everyone approving of you through your choice in husband (marrying for status) but he is a person. Try to imagine you are him. Try to imagine actually loving him which would involve leveling with him and letting him go. You are recovering from being dependant on alcohol. You have not yet learned to live single, not dependant. You know you are not ready for marriage. This happened to me in my early twenties. I was engaged to the sweetest guy. Everyone loved him but I was not ready and he was not the right person for me to be my true self with. He was quite sad for a while but now.. He is happily married, I am happily married (to someone else). It all turned out okay. Be the better person. Let #1 go.
reboot Posted August 10, 2011 Posted August 10, 2011 In reality, it's perfectly OK to be with both, SO LONG AS you aren't leading either of them to believe you're being exclusive with them. Of course, since that's not the case, that would mean calling off the wedding at the least.
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