Carm Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 (edited) "I'm confused about us" line that is.....Title is wrong. Will try to keep this short. I could sense my bf of 9 months or so hasn't been himself in the last 2 weeks so I asked him if he was happy with us. He said he wasn't overly happy, there are a few things that had been bothering him and he wondered if we were compatible enough to be together. Some of things he listed was that I'd like to live in the city, he in the country. We raise our kids differently, he misses smoking pot once in awhile while I'm not into that. He said he's confused.....what does that mean to a guy?? I've told him, he's already hurting me so please be honest with me and let me know if he's really not confused and really knows he doesn't want to be with me. In other words, is he letting me down easy? But he's insisting that he needs time to sort things out. I don't like this feeling so I told him the only thing worse than wasting 9 months of my life is wasting 9 months plus one more day. He needs to sort things out and if I'm around and still interested then we can try again BUT I feel like hell right now. Have I done the right thing? Do I need to give him space and NOT make contact with him? What's the right way to handle this? Edited August 7, 2011 by Carm Wrong heading
Ajax Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I think you handled this appropriately. You should only be with someone who wants to be with you. If he's "confused," and he may very well be, it doesn't bode well. When you're boyfriend/girlfriend needs time to figure things out, it's time to start distancing yourself from them and reestablishing personal boundries.
thelovingkind Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Anything along those lines - feeling confused, unsure, weird, distant, off, different etc. - usually means it's dust. This, I think, is because what the person is really trying to express is not that they're confused about whether or not they're in love with you, but that they're confused as to why they no longer are in love with you. The feelings are already gone. They just don't know why.
Author Carm Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 Interesting. I am doing my best to distract myself but feeling really low today. He came last night to pick up some stuff of his and he was emotionally empty. We'll see if he comes back but at this point I'm not so sure.
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