susanl Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Well this one is a new one to me and everyone has been great with my other problems so here goes. Dating this great guy will (well thought) probably get married in the next 6 months--found a house to buy--it was actually the house his ex is living in. No this doesn't bother me because he has a 13 and a 15 yr old and this was there home originally too--and I also believe that a home is where and with whom you make it--so that being said. I have a great relationship with his kids and I love him to no end. But tonight when the 13 yr old daughter found out we were buying the house she went over the edge. Now don't misunderstand this is a big step for me but I love him and we have a great relationship and he has custody of his son and he and i get along great and my kids 19/17 think he is great. But here is the problem she the 13 yr old doesn't want her dad to get married, doesn't want to share him etc---and I kind of understand this but I don't want to loose this guy. So my question is do I just back off, do we buy the house, do I continue like nothing has happened, do I stop doing all the things I do for him and his kids----WHAT__SOMEONE PLEASE HELP---I am a basket case tonight I don't want to loose him but I understand he cares about his daughter because I have a 17 and 19 yr old but how and why can a 13 yr old ruin my life--yes I know that sounds selfish but--- thanks for anything anyone can offer me to cope with this and remain sane--thanks Link to post Share on other sites
livingthelife Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 You know " true love never dies".. By now you should be able to expect certain things from Teenagers.. having successfully raised two of them yourself.At that age, hormones are raging.. she is confused, scared and unsure of all the things happening around her. She is yearning to stabilize what she can. Why would you have to end the relationship over this??? My next question is why would you want to live in a home where the ex and your partner lived? Would it not be better to have a fresh start? If you are getting the house at a great cost savings maybe it is worth it... if not, I would rethink your position on " a home is what you make of it"... Not all change is bad. Some change is invigorating. Maybe with a new home.. maybe her own room she can decorate.. something to look forward to she will change her mind... Your best bet is to be the best friend you can be to her. Be understanding of what it is like to be that age... Maybe get her into some counseling where she will be able to vent her feelings to an unbiased person.. sometimes that does a world of good. If he loves you.. your love will conquer this..... Sometimes you just have to have faith... Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
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