bluenightowl Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Have you ever dated someone for a while or been in a relationship then gotten hurt or dumped, Then within a month or so started dating someone else only to find the past keeps rushing back at you? Either trust issues, or just re-thinking what happened and why it ended. I've been in situations where being single has allowed me to keep my focus better than jumping right back into a new relationship, despite the temporary relief of the new relationship and great feeling of being with someone. Related have any of you found that if you don't deal with the past relationship where you got dumped or hurt if can just follow you around much longer. I've read both perspectives.. One where people say its a waste of time to think about the past, and others who take some time to reflect and make some changes.
thatone Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 the above scenarios are entirely accurate. but they are not necessarily positive or negative, imo. it all depends on how you handle them. the past rushing back to you is a test of yourself. you have to objectively consider the new person you've met, and not project your past issues on to them. it takes mental effort, but that mental effort will make you more observant of any issues with the new person (or lack thereof). the hard part is remembering that it's not all about you, you're supposed to be considering the other person.
FitChick Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 For me it's like after The Big Game when our team has lost. You sit in the locker room analyzing what may have gone wrong and figure out how to avoid the pitfalls in the future. You don't blame the other team. If you find yourself attracted to the same type of man/woman and creating the same patterns, you only have yourself to blame. You need to figure out which beliefs are determining your behavior. The Lefkoe Method can help!
Author bluenightowl Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 For me it's like after The Big Game when our team has lost. You sit in the locker room analyzing what may have gone wrong and figure out how to avoid the pitfalls in the future. You don't blame the other team. If you find yourself attracted to the same type of man/woman and creating the same patterns, you only have yourself to blame. You need to figure out which beliefs are determining your behavior. The Lefkoe Method can help! I think this is a great analogy to a Big Game that one lost. You need time to re-group but just as important make some changes in your strategy. Never heard of the Lefkoe Method.
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