NicoleM Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I have been seeing this guy for a month now and things were going great until last Tuesday. He used to say Nicole have a wonderful day every day before I went to work or have a good night everyday and would say I get depressed when I don't see you Nicole. That all stopped Tuesday:sick: His texts have kinda stopped but we still went out Thursday. I thought for sure Thursday he was going to dump me. His mind was all over the place he didn't say much said he wasn't feeling too good and took me home. Friday he didn't say anything at all and and bragged on Twitter how he couldn't wait until he went out tonight. Talk about a slap in the face! I texted him saying hey Randy I feel like there is some weirdness going on and he said Nicole there is no weirdness I care about you very much and I hope we will be in each others lives for a really long time. Huh?? Brag about going out on Twitter ( not with me) and I find out he has Okcupid profile ( which he totally kept under wraps) I didn't even know until my cousin called me and said you might want to check this out and I looked and low and behold it was him saying how he was looking for a nice lady to treat right. I of course can't tell him I saw that or he would accuse me of snopping and since we aren't in a relationship I guess he can do whatever he pleases but why sneak around and why say things I like I hope we are in each others lives for a long time? I am confused!
wilsonx Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 you said it yourself, you are not in a relationship. You have this gut feeling that he really does not like you by his actions and from what you posted, I believe what you are saying. Why don't you walk away? Trust your own intuition. Be the person that just walks away.
Author NicoleM Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 I like him. I don't necessarily want to walk away and he says he cares for me. So while we might not be in a relationship I do know that he cares about me very much. I would even consider a FWB because that is how much I like him and being with him. I just meant why doesn't he just dump me and we go into the friends zone. I'd be cool with that:bunny: He could easily be suffering from G.I.G.S.
aussie_bloke Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I just meant why doesn't he just dump me and we go into the friends zone. How can he/why should he dump you when you are not in a relationship? He is obviously happy with the benefits of playing things the way he has been and not getting into anything deeper. He has a dating profile that he is keeping updated, I know it sounds harsh but it really looks like he is using you until he finds something better. Stand up for yourself and give him the ultimatum, get together officially and have a proper go at it (ditch dating profiles etc), or walk away from eachother before you cause yourself even more pain then you are in now. Best of luck
geegirl Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I like him. I don't necessarily want to walk away and he says he cares for me. So while we might not be in a relationship I do know that he cares about me very much. I would even consider a FWB because that is how much I like him and being with him. I just meant why doesn't he just dump me and we go into the friends zone. I'd be cool with that:bunny: He could easily be suffering from G.I.G.S. First of all, an FWB arrangement is between two people that have sex with each other with no emotional tie whatsoever. An FWB arrangement will never work if there are feelings involved. Secondly, if an FWB arrangement is fine with you, you can't be questioning whether he likes you, if he likes you, if he cares, shocked about a profile, etc. If you have feelings for him and you are looking to get more out of this, then you're demoting yourself to FWB and most likely will never get far in the process of actually having a relationship with him. The moment you become a woman that a guy can just sleep with knowing you don't expect anything else from him, there you will stay. He may care for you but not enough to give you what you want. People can care for each other but that is not a guarantee that they will want an R with you. And if you give the goods for free without any form of commitment or surety that it has the potential of going somewhere (him caring for you is not enough), then all you will be is someone he has sex with. Please don't devalue yourself by stating that you would stoop to being an FWB just to have this man in your life, in whatever capacity that allows him to have just enough interest in you so that you can bank on a "just maybe". I'll say this again, FWB will not work if you're already confused about his hot and cold behavior. You're already emotional. If you just wanted him as a friend to sleep with, you would not be questioning his motive. You'd just be having sex and enjoying it and getting on with your life. Either you're in a relationship or not. Anything is between is going to come back and bite you ten fold.
radiodarcy Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 gee girl said it best. it would be better for you to disengage with this guy now than enter into a FWB situation and feel even worse about his behavior later; since by then you will be physically and emotionally attached. even if he does have GIGS - - that's no excuse for the substandard treatment he's been giving you - and will continue to give you so long as you allow it.
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