feeling lost

[gb_girl]

Hey so far it's been my 9th day of NC.

 

Feeling so lost nobody to talk to, nothing to do just my bed waiting for me to crawl up again so I tried doing this sight hoping it would help me somehow.

 

So far what I was thinking in the beginning was relief somehow that I don't have to wait for phone calls anymore, analyze his moves what he says or endlessly let his phone ring without him answering or getting any response .

 

But as the days pass by it got difficult finally I am realizing that it's over and he will never make the effort to call even though I said in the beginning I wouldn't wait for any call. Subconsciously, I think you can't help fantasize that he would realize he misses you.

 

I knew he would never call because before when we used to have fights I would be the one who would give in and call him the longest was 4 days now we broke up and it's been 9 days and no effort from him.

 

when we broke up it hurt so much because he said he wasn't happy with us anymore but he still loves me.

 

I'm so lost. I would like to go out and do something but do not have the strength to do any of it. No friends to talk to since I don't want to bug them about my feelings all the time.

 

I know what I should do but it is so difficult

[smudge21]

Welcome to the sight, you'll be suprised how this place can help - go look at other threads and see what others are going through, maybe even offer your own advice.

 

Anyway, first off, it's only been 9 days - I know to you that's a long time considering how close you were, but in reality it isn't. It's barely a holiday. You're bound to be going through all this pain right now as something so important cannot fade so quickly, so don't expect it to. Accept you will feel bad for some time yet, and even when you feel great, you will have the occasional down moment. It's all part of the healing process, we all go through it.

 

You say it yourself that you were always the one to call (odd, in my situation I was always the one to call too) so I gaurantee he's expecting you to make the effort - but you're not going to as that will only set you back and won't change anything right now. For someone to miss us, they first have to miss us.

 

No contact is about healing but it can have other effects to, such as an ex missing us and coming back. I'm not saying that will happen and you shouldn't focus on it, but occasionally I know that by having that little bit of hope, by thinking to ourselves "if I don't make contact they'll miss us" then that can gives us strength to stay NC. Overtime NC does it's job and we no longer think about them coming back as we begin to heal.

 

You say you can't talk to friends, why not? What kind of friends are these that you can't speak to? In times like this we need support and there should be no shame in asking for it.

 

Stay strong. Don't focus on what he may be doing right now, the truth is you don't know and that's the best way. Trust me, ignorance is bliss, so don't go looking for information as that will set you back. I know that for fact. Just remember, you're not alone in your suffering.

[nick01675]

Just dont have any hopes that he wil be back, if u have u will be expecting his call/msg. It doesnt help you to get over.

 

Strict NC ..(I know its very very very hard) but u have to do it..

 

I just broke NC yesterday and i'm back to square 1..