musemaj11 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? I think wanting relationship from men who only want sex is no less selfish than wanting only sex from women who want relationship. I mean many guys are forced to be in a relationship simply because it is the only way they can get sex and most people see this as acceptable. On the other hand when a woman puts up with being a bootycall because it is the only way for her to have at least some relationship with a man, suddenly everyone thinks the man is a jerk.
phineas Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I just don't want sex, but I have no desire to give my limited free time to a woman who doesn't want to have sex but is demanding my attention. I'd rather sit in piece & watch startrek on Netflix & drink a beer than listen to a chick chirp about her day when sex isn't on the table. Basically, I got 3 nights a week without my kids, 5 if she wants to come over after 9:00 when their gone. I got my own stuff to do & need my own space. If a woman doesn't want sex the one or two times a night I can see her then what is the point of me seeing her? Who wants to be with someone that isn't attracted or doesn't like sex twice a week?
Tasha49 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? I think wanting relationship from men who only want sex is no less selfish than wanting only sex from women who want relationship. I mean many guys are forced to be in a relationship simply because it is the only way they can get sex and most people see this as acceptable. On the other hand when a woman puts up with being a bootycall because it is the only way for her to have at least some relationship with a man, suddenly everyone thinks the man is a jerk. No man is forced into a relationship. If he just wants sex and no relationship then most men will hop over to the right place for their needs--which is at a bar/club. If all you want is sex, then a relationship is not the right place for you. Not only that, but it is also going to be unfair for the girl because while you go all high and mighty getting all the sex you wish to get, you are going to mistreat the girl because working at the relationship will be the last thing from your mind. There is nothing wrong with just wanting to have sex. There IS something wrong if that is all you want in a relationship. You will never have a successful relationship built around sex. Or you are kidding yourself. Someone who only wants sex and not a relationship needs to find girls who want the same or just have one night stands. But wear a condom for crying out loud.
iris219 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? No one hates men for just wanting sex. Women hate being misled and lied to. It’s only wrong if you’re not clear about your intentions or you’re downright dishonest. Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? It's not better or worse. You can want whatever you want, but many women don't just want sex. I think wanting relationship from men who only want sex is no less selfish than wanting only sex from women who want relationship. I mean many guys are forced to be in a relationship simply because it is the only way they can get sex and most people see this as acceptable. On the other hand when a woman puts up with being a bootycall because it is the only way for her to have at least some relationship with a man, suddenly everyone thinks the man is a jerk. So you admit it's selfish to want something from another person when you know it's not in their best interest or what they want? People shouldn't try to change people or manipulate others to get what they want, be it sex or a relationship. That's selfish. No can be forced into a relationship. People only think the guy's a jerk if he's lying about his intentions. When he's honest, people think the woman is stupid for believing he will change.
Tasha49 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Also... just wanting sex will only last for so long. Eventually you will want someone to love you and for you to love them. We are built for companionship for the most part. No one wants to die alone. No one wants to die without loving/being loved.
spiderowl Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I don't think there's anything wrong with just wanting sex as long as a guy is honest about that right from the start. As a woman, what really pisses me off is guys who aren't honest, who lie and cheat to get sex because they know most women are looking for more. Also, I have a profile on a dating site and it specifically says I'm interested in getting to know a guy properly first and then be in a loving relationship NOT interested in just sex or a casual relationship. Yet, guys constantly contact me who are only looking for casual sex. We end up having these conversations at cross-purposes until I realise they wouldn't know an emotional connection if they saw it. Now that's really annoying. They are so focused on sex as their goal, they can't even read! A woman may find it hard to understand that a guy can be looking for just sex and not need any emotional attachment. It seems so cold. They may challenge a guy who says he only wants sex because it seems so unbelievable to them. Maybe that's what you are experiencing. As far as I can see, if a guy is truly honest that sex is all he wants and he says so up front before doing the deed, then I can't see anything wrong in that.
Pierre Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? I think wanting relationship from men who only want sex is no less selfish than wanting only sex from women who want relationship. I mean many guys are forced to be in a relationship simply because it is the only way they can get sex and most people see this as acceptable. On the other hand when a woman puts up with being a bootycall because it is the only way for her to have at least some relationship with a man, suddenly everyone thinks the man is a jerk. There is nothing wrong with wanting sex. However, if you hurt others to have sex then there is a problem.
somedude81 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 There is nothing wrong with it as long as you are honest & upfront about your intentions. Exactly what I was going to say.
AThoughtfulMan Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 There is nothing wrong with wanting sex. However, if you hurt others to have sex then there is a problem. Exactly. It's important to be up front with your motives so that you don't seriously hurt a woman. One of the most despicable things a guy can do is make a woman think he's genuinely interested in her but only wants sex from her. I've seen other guys who do that and I've witnessed the effect it can have. Those guys make the rest of us look pretty bad.
dasein Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 One of the most despicable things a guy can do is make a woman think he's genuinely interested in her but only wants sex from her. Disagree. Wanting sex is the primary way men show interest in women. When a man approaches a woman, his motives are very plain. One of the most despicable things people can do generally is try to assign blame based on an unrealistic expectation of THEIRS, and try to extend that expectation such that everyone is liable for 1) anticipating what people want, and 2) being obligated to state the obvious from the start. If someone wants a relationship it is THEIR responsibility to say so. There is no assumption in modern U.S. that expressing sexual interest means expressing interest in a relationship. People who want a relationship can and should speak up if that is their expectation.
Author musemaj11 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 The reason I bring up this subject is that because a lot of women seem to feel that they are entitled to a relationship from men. They complain how men only want sex and not a relationship as if it is a bad thing that men only want sex while on the other hand wanting a relationship is what is good because that is what they want as women. No man is forced into a relationship. If he just wants sex and no relationship then most men will hop over to the right place for their needs--which is at a bar/club.No offense, but that is a pretty dumb thing to say. Thats like saying if a woman wants a relationship, she can simply go on eHarmony and she can find a relationship easy there ...
Cypress25 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 One of the most despicable things people can do generally is try to assign blame based on an unrealistic expectation of THEIRS It's not unrealistic to expect the person who wants to have sex with you to like you. Once upon a time, people didn't have sex with each other unless they liked each other. If you just want meaningless sex, hire a hooker. Why I would want to have sex with a guy who doesn't even like me enough to date me is beyond me. Just because some men are pigs doesn't mean women should expect that behavior from all men.
Cypress25 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 They complain how men only want sex and not a relationship as if it is a bad thing that men only want sex The reason this is generally seen as a bad thing is because it means the man has no interest in her as a person. And that's insulting. You're basically saying you don't like her personality, you just like her vagina. Of course that hurts a girl's feelings; it seems like a rejection. while on the other hand wanting a relationship is what is good because that is what they want as women. Wanting a relationship is not considered better just because it's what women want. First of all, plenty of men want relationships too, believe it or not. Second of all, wanting a relationship means you like the girl, you care about her, you're genuinely interested in her as a person. You don't see her as just a vagina. Thats like saying if a woman wants a relationship, she can simply go on eHarmony and she can find a relationship easy there No one said it would be easy. But why do you expect it to be easy? Like I said before, if you want easy sex, hire a hooker. Just because you want something doesn't mean other people should be willing to give it to you easily. And by the way, a relationship is not something that you give to someone. It's something that both people participate in. It requires a little time and effort from both people. Women who want a relationship are usually willing to put in the required time and effort. But men who just want sex expect to get it with no effort on their part.
Author musemaj11 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 (edited) It's not unrealistic to expect the person who wants to have sex with you to like you. Once upon a time, people didn't have sex with each other unless they liked each other. If you just want meaningless sex, hire a hooker. Why I would want to have sex with a guy who doesn't even like me enough to date me is beyond me. Just because some men are pigs doesn't mean women should expect that behavior from all men. You are the kind of women that Im talking about. You are incapable of looking from the other point of view. Just because Im only interested in sex, doesnt mean Im a pig. As long as its mutual, who are you to say that anyone is a pig for wanting something that you dont like? The reason this is generally seen as a bad thing is because it means the man has no interest in her as a person. And that's insulting. You're basically saying you don't like her personality, you just like her vagina. Of course that hurts a girl's feelings; it seems like a rejection. I dont want to have sex with a monkey. I wouldn't want to have sex with a woman if I dont see her as a person. DUH! Wanting a relationship is not considered better just because it's what women want. First of all, plenty of men want relationships too, believe it or not. Second of all, wanting a relationship means you like the girl, you care about her, you're genuinely interested in her as a person. You don't see her as just a vagina.And many women want sex and nothing else as well. So once again, who the hell are you to judge? No one said it would be easy. Except thats exactly what she insinuated that if you want sex, you can simply go to a bar and you will get it! Edited August 7, 2011 by musemaj11
Flipper Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 i'm a guy with an extremely high sex drive and even i want more than just sex... if someone only wants sex (like lots of guys i know) than they are typically rejecting the person before that person rejects them
Severely Unamused Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 There is nothing wrong with it as long as you are honest & upfront about your intentions. Yep. People don't like being manipulated and lied to. Crazy world huh?
Els Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Your analogy is a little flawed. Very flawed, actually. A person who wants sex without an R is not like a person who wants both from a partner who only wants sex. A person wanting sex without a R is exactly like a person wanting a R without sex. Neither are inherently 'wrong'. But either of them would be seen as a jerk if they were to lead their partner on into thinking that they wanted both, while they did not.
Flipper Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 when i was in high school, there were a few girls i wanted only sex from because i didnt like their personality... but that was then, now im grown up and i dont feel the desire to sleep around like that
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 The OP's original post sounds a little whiny... more like, " why do I have to explain myself to anyone? I should just be allowed to want sex only and everyone should be ok with it because I said so... I'm an ok person and it is those yucky women who are impeding my right to getting whatever I want without making any effort at communication or making the least amount of effort to see if our goals are in line..." someone call the wha-wha-wha-mbulance. If all a guy wants is just sex, there are plenty of women who will accomodate them if they actually are good at it (sex, that is). If a man isn't good at sex, then yea, I can see why they'd be tempted into tricking a woman by pretending to want a relationship... doesn't change the fact that behavior is skeevy. Lying that is.
grkBoy Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? I think wanting relationship from men who only want sex is no less selfish than wanting only sex from women who want relationship. I mean many guys are forced to be in a relationship simply because it is the only way they can get sex and most people see this as acceptable. On the other hand when a woman puts up with being a bootycall because it is the only way for her to have at least some relationship with a man, suddenly everyone thinks the man is a jerk. Nothing wrong with "only wanting sex". It only becomes "wrong" when a man or woman lies and manipulates others into giving them sex under false pretenses...like claiming they love this person and want a RL. If you can be honest and such, but people will bang you anyway, then good for you. If the only way you can get laid though is by lying to the person, then it's wrong.
Cypress25 Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 You are the kind of women that Im talking about. You are incapable of looking from the other point of view. What, the kind of woman who frustrates you because I would never have sex with a guy who just wanted to get laid? Look, some women have self-respect, get used to it. I understand your point of view, I just don't agree with it. I'm trying to explain why just wanting sex is generally seen as a bad thing. Obviously, enough people see it that way to motivate you to write about it. Just because Im only interested in sex, doesnt mean Im a pig. As long as its mutual, who are you to say that anyone is a pig for wanting something that you dont like? It's not because I don't like it. It's because you're looking to use women to satisfy your base desires with minimal effort. Basically, you want to treat all women like free hookers. If you can find a woman who will agree to that, good for you. But many women don't like being treated that way, and I think that's what you're complaining about. I dont want to have sex with a monkey. I wouldn't want to have sex with a woman if I dont see her as a person. DUH! I have no doubt that you know the difference between a monkey and a human. But I didn't say human, I said person. You know, a human who has thoughts, feelings, interests, hobbies, a career, a personality. All the things that you don't care about, because you're just looking for a human vagina to satisfy you for a few minutes. And many women want sex and nothing else as well. So once again, who the hell are you to judge? People are allowed to judge your intentions, actually. That's how they decide if they want to associate with you. You may not like it, but women are allowed to turn you down on the basis that they don't want to be used for sex. They have every right to do that. Except thats exactly what she insinuated that if you want sex, you can simply go to a bar and you will get it! I think she meant you have to go to the right place. Not that it will come easy, but that you would improve your odds by going to a place where you might find a woman drunk enough to sleep with you.
dasein Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 The OP's original post sounds a little whiny... No it doesn't.
FitChick Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 If you make your intentions clear, there shouldn't be a problem.
carhill Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 A lot of people especially women seem to despise men who just want sex and nothing else. But what is inherently wrong with that? Why is wanting sex any worse than wanting a relationship? I personally haven't seen that. IME, a great way to stay single is to be relationship/marriage centric. Wanting a LTR/M is a great way to get rid of women these days. Nothing wrong with wanting sex rather than a relationship. This is the most common thing I hear from women these days, especially married women.
Ross MwcFan Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 There's nothing wrong with it at all. Some people just aren't ready for a relationship, may not feel like having a gf/bf at that time, or they just want to play the field first before settling down. It's just a normal part of life.
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