All the Qs about women, let's talk men

[LoveandSuch]

I have become quite jaded toward men in general. I used to have the mentality that the majority of men had good intentions when it came to relationships. I now feel as if I have to drop kick ever clown I come in contact with.

In the couple of months, my eyes have been widened, a close friend who is going through a terrible separation, encouraged me to read men's message forums to gain wisdom of how some men think.

I was shocked at how f'up these men were. I was also satisfied that I never fell for any of the BS I had read. Is this really how men view women and dating?

I feel if a woman has standards she is viewed as a stuck up whore not worth pursuing. Do men really value women as these men do?

Now if a man grabs my hand I freeze up at this kino attempt and give the WTF stare! LOL

I am flirted with and given attention all day and I used to think of it as just friendliness and fun. I now have this jaded view after reading those boards and end up drop kicking left and right what I now perceive as clowns.

Then there are the many men who just do the glances on a consistent basis but never put forth any attempt of a thoroughly thought provoking or genuine attempt of knowing you, just the same glances of interest over and over again.

I even had one man use the sleaziest of game playing, in retrospect, of using my child!!! Showed a general interest by asking about them, but it was really just BS, looking back at it, they did not give 2 ****s about them, unforgivable, but a great lessoned learned.

Are there good men out there who do not think like these men do? Do these men's tactics and views hurt the chances of good intentions by good men being miscontrued by us and we drop kick them too soon?

[Jynxx]

Nope, no good men out there. Every single one of us is a total psychopath that only cares about himself and getting laid.

 

(hint: if you put "I was shocked at what I read, are there men who don't think like that?", maybe clarify what you read and how those men think)

[YeahDotDotDot]

Maybe those good men are too busy being hurt/used by b*tches. If it's all a game, and people aren't playing fair, there are winners and losers who may not realize it just yet. And maybe you have to lose many times before you become a winner.

[ptp]

I am a below average looking guy who has never garnered much female attention, though I have had a few GFs.

 

I am definitely less experienced than most men my age. I used to think this was a bad thing and that it sucks that I have not been with more women.

 

After reading the negativity on LS and reading how so many people are bitter about the opposite sex, I am starting to change my view.

 

I am not jaded, don't have emotional baggage and certainly have not been hurt by b****es.

 

Maybe it is a good thing to be less experienced.

[Sanman]

Exactly what behaviors are you talking about? We need details if you want us to answer a question. All I see is someone who read an online message board and now is paranoid at deception at every turn.

[Movingthrough]

Obviously this can be a lets just say "emotional" thread. If it makes you feel any better there are good guys out there, but we are not in the scenes that you are talking about. We arent on the boards talking about "game" etc etc. I consider myself a mature guy, im successful and feel like i could bring a lot to a relationship, but just like you feel towards males, i feel towards women. While the typical view on men can be, "all trying to play games, just want sex, will do anything to win you over" etc etc, the view on girls from men are "will play games, will never admit that hes more then just a friend, will blame when they are caught in the wrong" etc etc.

 

My point is i was hurt from my breakup, and personally i feel a lot of woman dont know how to deal with their emotions and wont let go of one thing until they have another, then when confronted will avoid all confrontation by lying. The reality is like you posted, men do it too, both sexes are going to have this vision of each other because of their experiences in dating.

 

I date girls, so naturally im going to be more biased on how i think they act, you date guys, so you are going to have your thoughts on them too. Like i said, we all do it but nowadays each sex seems to be getting their own stereotype.

 

Keep looking and know that not all guys are sh*theads.

[just_some_guy]

Every time I see a thread that's along the lines of "..do women all..." or "...are all men..." it almost always points at some internal conflict with the questioner.

 

Look, all men and all women are *individuals*. Every individual is a complete story all to themselves.

 

If one's personal experience with the opposite sex seems to be riddled with some monolithically bad experience, perhaps the problem is internal, not external.

 

Attraction to the the opposite sex (or potential partners if one is gay or lesbian) comes from the *subconscious*. Unresolved conflict in the subconscious mind doesn't "go away" or stay hidden. It exerts small influences in our daily behavior and demeanor. These are the signals we give off to others, usually without any notice in our own minds. The subconscious will also draw us to people for reasons we don't quite understand sometimes, or even to people who bring us into conflict or trouble.

 

So, ask not what is wrong with "them" but ask your greater self, (or higher power, the universe or God), "what are you trying to teach me? What do I need to learn from this?"

[YeahDotDotDot]

I am a below average looking guy who has never garnered much female attention, though I have had a few GFs.

 

I am definitely less experienced than most men my age. I used to think this was a bad thing and that it sucks that I have not been with more women.

 

After reading the negativity on LS and reading how so many people are bitter about the opposite sex, I am starting to change my view.

 

I am not jaded, don't have emotional baggage and certainly have not been hurt by b****es.

 

Maybe it is a good thing to be less experienced.

 

You sound like a winner to me.

[ptp]

You sound like a winner to me.

 

You look like a winner to me.

[LoveandSuch]

Nope, no good men out there. Every single one of us is a total psychopath that only cares about himself and getting laid.

 

(hint: if you put "I was shocked at what I read, are there men who don't think like that?", maybe clarify what you read and how those men think)

 

Okay! I thought that when men were interested in a woman, he would only be thinking of being a gentleman. A , "TRUE," gentleman.

How I thought men were, intention wise, is quite shockingly different then what i have read them posting. They are using manipulative techniques, they are out sarging (WTF), they have plates spinning and f'ing all them, great way to spread herpes and much more. They talk about women as if we are skanks, easy, and if we do have values, intelligence, and if we are not falling for their games, we are disposable garbage, and the advice is to forget the b*tch and go hunting for more p*ssy.

There are various techniques mentioned from PRETENDING to be caring, MANIPULATING them , and then F-CLOSE them. Wow! Makes a woman swoon.

It was interesting to watch this new guy, talking loudly, acting as if he was all that interesting, and watching women laugh at his unfunny jokes, and innuendos. I looked at him and was thinking, what a F'tard. I am happy though, when they are so apparent, I can just go cold, and play dead to them, and this makes them very uncomfortable. I think they are so into themselves and into the game, that they are hyperaware, especially to the fact when someone gives them the, you are a F'tard steely cold stare.

[YeahDotDotDot]

You look like a winner to me.

 

Yes, I was reading instead of listening...

 

But anyway, I was mostly focused on the last part where you said 'maybe it is a good thing to be less experienced.' I wholeheartedly agree.

[Nexus One]

From all the single guys I know, I and another good friend of mine are the only two guys I know that want a relationship instead of just sex with women.

 

I was talking to another friend yesterday. He told me that he wasn't into relationships as he thinks they're too complicated and he said he's one of those guys that just wants to have sex and when he's done just wants to leave immediately.

 

Personally I think women have more to offer than that. I want something meaningful with a woman, but lately I feel I might be in the minority.

Edited August 6, 2011 by Nexus One

[dasein]

"Good intentions" is code for "conforms with my agenda or not," "f-ed up" is code for "interested in his own agenda while not having enough interest in my agenda." "Clown" is code for "man with a normal sex drive approaching women because he finds them attractive" "Drop kick" is code for "act rudely like an entitled princess unless he's good looking or rich enough, if he is, then see how high my ankles can go up the headboard of his bed." "Thought provoking or genuine attempt at knowing you" is code for "approaching a level of absorption in mememe that is close to my own level of self-absorption."

[somedude81]

Okay! I thought that when men were interested in a woman, he would only be thinking of being a gentleman. A , "TRUE," gentleman.

How I thought men were, intention wise, is quite shockingly different then what i have read them posting. They are using manipulative techniques, they are out sarging (WTF), they have plates spinning and f'ing all them, great way to spread herpes and much more. They talk about women as if we are skanks, easy, and if we do have values, intelligence, and if we are not falling for their games, we are disposable garbage, and the advice is to forget the b*tch and go hunting for more p*ssy.

There are various techniques mentioned from PRETENDING to be caring, MANIPULATING them , and then F-CLOSE them. Wow! Makes a woman swoon.

It was interesting to watch this new guy, talking loudly, acting as if he was all that interesting, and watching women laugh at his unfunny jokes, and innuendos. I looked at him and was thinking, what a F'tard. I am happy though, when they are so apparent, I can just go cold, and play dead to them, and this makes them very uncomfortable. I think they are so into themselves and into the game, that they are hyperaware, especially to the fact when someone gives them the, you are a F'tard steely cold stare.

You are talking about the PUA scene.

 

Do you know why the vast majority of men turn to pick up?

 

It's because they have had no luck at all getting women the "right" way.

 

Can you really blame a man who has been shunned by women his entire life that he starts to learn "game" and maybe he'll get a fighting chance?

[LoveandSuch]

From all the single guys I know, I and another good friend of mine are the only two guys I know that want a relationship instead of just sex with women.

 

I was talking to another friend yesterday. He told me that he wasn't into relationships as he thinks they're too complicated and he said he's one of those guys that just wants to have sex and when he's done just wants to leave immediately.

 

Personally I think women have more to offer than that. I want something meaningful with a woman, but lately I feel I might be in the minority.

 

You are in the minority. It could be possible that many good men are taken. I had a male who used to hate me. Made it quite obvious to me. It was not a game. One day out of the blue we were cool, and friendly, at his doing. A quiet mutuality and friendliness, if that makes any sense. He is exactly my type. He is taken, sans, I would never try to overtly flirt or attempt to take things further. He would probably tell a friend he hates me. Lol. But, he is a good guy. Unavailable. But, I can tell he likes me, although maybe just as friends, because at times if someone says something or talks out loud to him about something personal, he looks to me, in the eyes, quickly, as if looking for approval or to see what I think. It is strange.

I do like men. I am, however, extremely jaded. I have to tone this newfound fact down, because I do not want it to cause me trouble, by overtly being rude, therefore obnoxious in my knockdowns.

[Jynxx]

You are talking about the PUA scene.

 

Do you know why the vast majority of men turn to pick up?

 

It's because they have had no luck at all getting women the "right" way.

 

Can you really blame a man who has been shunned by women his entire life that he starts to learn "game" and maybe he'll get a fighting chance?

 

+1

If a guy has it easy with woman, they like him and he's naturally good at attracting them and keeping them around, do you think he would spend his time analysing his technique on an internet forum? People who were denied and missing out on what they are biologically programmed for found other people with the same problems on the internet, started a community and figured stuff out together, analysing and studying what behaviour worked and what didn't. Can you blame them? Can you blame someone who is starving and broke for stealing a bread?

[Anela]

 

Personally I think women have more to offer than that. I want something meaningful with a woman, but lately I feel I might be in the minority.

 

I'm afraid that you do seem to be in the minority.

[LoveandSuch]

You are talking about the PUA scene.

 

Do you know why the vast majority of men turn to pick up?

 

It's because they have had no luck at all getting women the "right" way.

 

Can you really blame a man who has been shunned by women his entire life that he starts to learn "game" and maybe he'll get a fighting chance?

 

So I am assuming you are a PUA participant. Who do you think are going to be the actual women that fall for the BS and allow a man to treat her with push-pull, what ever BS, it is going to be BPD women and all the other crazy women, who are the only women apparently by reading the message boards, that these men can actually game, sarge, f-close, and use.

It is a pretty ****ty way to live and view life, particularly women.

Thank you for collaborating and cementing my thoughts, that because you have been shunned by women, that you are now taking this fact, as a reason these men fall back on these idiotic, thoughtless tactics of using women.

I can tell you a quality woman will never fall for these tactics or be quick to learn she is being played and will drop kick you fast and hard.

[rafallus]

So I am assuming you are a PUA participant. Who do you think are going to be the actual women that fall for the BS and allow a man to treat her with push-pull, what ever BS, it is going to be BPD women and all the other crazy women, who are the only women apparently by reading the message boards, that these men can actually game, sarge, f-close, and use.

It is a pretty ****ty way to live and view life, particularly women.

Thank you for collaborating and cementing my thoughts, that because you have been shunned by women, that you are now taking this fact, as a reason these men fall back on these idiotic, thoughtless tactics of using women.

I can tell you a quality woman will never fall for these tactics or be quick to learn she is being played and will drop kick you fast and hard.

 

Nope.

 

Not every guy using PUA is a player, some are guys who do want to get a gf, but couldn't before. Or guys who were doing fine already, but still want to improve. I'm posting on other forum (TAF), so I'm telling you as it is. You can check it out on your own, if you don't believe me.

[Anela]

"Good intentions" is code for "conforms with my agenda or not," "f-ed up" is code for "interested in his own agenda while not having enough interest in my agenda." "Clown" is code for "man with a normal sex drive approaching women because he finds them attractive" "Drop kick" is code for "act rudely like an entitled princess unless he's good looking or rich enough, if he is, then see how high my ankles can go up the headboard of his bed." "Thought provoking or genuine attempt at knowing you" is code for "approaching a level of absorption in mememe that is close to my own level of self-absorption."

 

Good intentions = treating a woman like a human being, instead of a breathing, responsive blow-up doll.

 

F-ed up = well, the same as the above. A user, who sees nothing wrong in manipulating women.

 

Clown = ditto the above.

 

Drop kick = booting them when he's grown bored with them, and has found another, or others, to screw.

 

Tought-provoking or genuine attempt at knowing you = just that. Treating you like a human being, with a personality and interests, above and beyond getting dirty in the bedroom/ outside a bar/ in a bathroom somewhere.

[Anela]

You are talking about the PUA scene.

 

Do you know why the vast majority of men turn to pick up?

 

It's because they have had no luck at all getting women the "right" way.

 

Can you really blame a man who has been shunned by women his entire life that he starts to learn "game" and maybe he'll get a fighting chance?

 

I've seen posts from guys who are thrilled with their success, only to end up even *more* jaded, because they see all women as just lining up to give it away.

 

Either way, the women end up being hated.

[LoveandSuch]

"Good intentions" is code for "conforms with my agenda or not," "f-ed up" is code for "interested in his own agenda while not having enough interest in my agenda." "Clown" is code for "man with a normal sex drive approaching women because he finds them attractive" "Drop kick" is code for "act rudely like an entitled princess unless he's good looking or rich enough, if he is, then see how high my ankles can go up the headboard of his bed." "Thought provoking or genuine attempt at knowing you" is code for "approaching a level of absorption in mememe that is close to my own level of self-absorption."

 

Yeah, keep believing what your other oompa-loompas keep telling you. Woman haters are so apparent with their written thoughts. Entitled princesses, golddiggers, stuck up whores, toward any woman who is too good for their games and other BS that you have to offer. Keep spinning plates of dysfunctional targets so your penis can enter their pie holes. This is the goal of the game. I choose not to play.

I do not play checkers, easily jumped and tossed, I tend to play chess, and this seems to be a problem with A-holes.

[ThsAmericanLife]

You are talking about the PUA scene.

 

Do you know why the vast majority of men turn to pick up?

 

It's because they have had no luck at all getting women the "right" way.

 

Can you really blame a man who has been shunned by women his entire life that he starts to learn "game" and maybe he'll get a fighting chance?

 

 

'women' or 'woman'... if your goal is to get as many women as possible, then by all means... use 'game' and manipulation. That is a whole lot easier than becoming someone that is genuinely attractive... and not in a bad way or in a way that makes others feel bad or used.

 

If you are looking for one good 'woman', then you might have to get used to being alone for awhile.

 

I'm a woman, BTW. I'm used to being alone now for long stretches between relationships.. I'd prefer it not be that way, but I have my eye on the prize.. a happy, healthy partnership with someone I care about and who cares about me. I could play men if I wanted to. I'm told I'm very attractive all of the time. I have a PhD (not stupid).

 

There is no reason to be upset about the 'games'. Everyone is looking for something. It's all a dance... It's life.

[somedude81]

LoveandSuch, you seem to have a lot of anger at men and are lashing out at the PUA scene as a scapegoat.

 

Yes there are dirt-bags who use PU, as well as there are dirt-bags who don't.

 

BTW no man decided to just hate women one day. It was caused by negative life experiences with women.

 

Frankly women are complicated beyond belief. Classes how to deal with them should be taught in Jr. High and High School.

[somedude81]

'women' or 'woman'... if your goal is to get as many women as possible, then by all means... use 'game' and manipulation. That is a whole lot easier than becoming someone that is genuinely attractive... and not in a bad way or in a way that makes others feel bad or used.

 

If you are looking for one good 'woman', then you might have to get used to being alone for awhile.

 

I'm a woman, BTW. I'm used to being alone now for long stretches between relationships.. I'd prefer it not be that way, but I have my eye on the prize.. a happy, healthy partnership with someone I care about and who cares about me. I could play men if I wanted to. I'm told I'm very attractive all of the time. I have a PhD (not stupid).

 

There is no reason to be upset about the 'games'. Everyone is looking for something. It's all a dance... It's life.

I'll be 30 at the end of the month and I haven't been in a single relationship. All I'm trying to do is get a girlfriend. But because I'm not very attractive, I have a better chance at getting struck by lightning while fighting a Great White.

 

A big part of PU is self-improvement. And I'm trying to change myself into the kind of man that a woman would give the time of day to.

 

The other part of PU is about learning lines and routines to use on women in bars and clubs. Since I'm not looking for one night stands, I never bothered with that part.

 

All I want to do is meet a nice girl and get into a relationship with her. But every girl I have ever liked since I was 13 has turned me down.

 

Honestly, I'd probably have better luck if I start trying to go for one night stands.