jbounds Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 So glad to find this site! About 3 weeks ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I completely lost my mind. We have 2 kids and I have been the sole financial provider for all but the past year. She is 35 and I am 37. She began texting a 65 year old buisness man in our community about 2 months ago.It has become sexting in the last 3 weeks. I do not know if it has gone further and dont want to know. She now says she wants a seperation to see if we can work it out and says we should date other people. She also says she can not move out until january. I honestly believe a divorce is the best solution but I cant start the healing process while we are under the same roof. I object to her dating while I cover the majority of her living expenses. I have offered 2000.00 per month until divorce is final or seperation ends. I have also offered to pay a deposit on a rental house for her. I need her to love me again or leave. We do not currently own a home and her income is approx 3200 monthly. We have no real assets and our only debts are her car payment and mine.Any advice would be great.
John Michael Kane Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 So glad to find this site! About 3 weeks ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I completely lost my mind. We have 2 kids and I have been the sole financial provider for all but the past year. She is 35 and I am 37. She began texting a 65 year old buisness man in our community about 2 months ago.It has become sexting in the last 3 weeks. I do not know if it has gone further and dont want to know. She now says she wants a seperation to see if we can work it out and says we should date other people. She also says she can not move out until january. I honestly believe a divorce is the best solution but I cant start the healing process while we are under the same roof. I object to her dating while I cover the majority of her living expenses. I have offered 2000.00 per month until divorce is final or seperation ends. I have also offered to pay a deposit on a rental house for her. I need her to love me again or leave. We do not currently own a home and her income is approx 3200 monthly. We have no real assets and our only debts are her car payment and mine.Any advice would be great. So she's cheating and wants to still live in your house, while you foot the bill. That crap about "dating" other people is total bullsh*t. She wants to screw him and hold onto you at the same time. If she wants a divorce, pack her things and leave them at the curb, since she wants to "find herself." Bet you she won't like that.
imagine Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Expose her. Write to every body that will help. Do you want her or not?
itllgetbetter Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 I'm prefacing this with: I'm a strong believer in working things out in a M. Question: why would you pay the deposit on a rental house for her? If she wants to leave, let her leave, but, why should you foot the bill for that? In terms of spousal support, you mention paying her 2K/m. Did you get legal advice on that amount? You don't want to potentially set yourself up for a situation where you initially pay her 2K/m and later want to reduce it, only to have her say in court that you were previously paying 2K/m so you should continue to do that. You say that a D is the best solution, but, perhaps if you can forgive her for what she's done, you can repair the M. However, if she wants to continue with her behavior, then that's a problem. If you spoke to her and said that you want her to stay and work out your issues but under no circumstances is it acceptable for her to engage in inappropriate behaviour with another man, what would her response be? Best of luck to you and the kids in dealing with this situation.
Tech_E Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Scortched earth time my friend. Lawyer up and FAST. Rid yourself of this cheater. Don't stand for this. I know you can't just up and toss her out, but you can bloody well take actions to terminate the marriage and you should do so. In house 'seperation', what a load of crap.
reboot Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Agree. No way no how should you have to put up with such crap, and you sure as hell shouldn't be financing her affair. If she wants to leave, bye, and let her OM pay for her expenses. Consult an attorney TODAY.
Chi townD Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 If she makes 3200 a month and you two have no real debt to speak of, she can find an apartment for that amount and still survive on the remainder. Lawyer up and quick! You don't have to live by her rules. Oh, and let people know the REAL reason on why you're seperating. Don't let her tell the standard, " Oh, we haven't been getting a long for a while...blah...blah..."
Author jbounds Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 update...I have stayed at my parents house for the last 2 nights. My plan is to cover the remaining bills for august and move to an apartment sept 1st. I will give her 2000 on the first of september and thats it. She can figure out how to make it from there. I can not finance her lifestyle if it does not include me. She believes she will be able to afford the house we now live in. I wish her luck.
Chi townD Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Good for you! Way to take back control of your life!!! How did she react to the arrangement you've made for your self? Reality of what she caused creeping in yet?
itllgetbetter Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 jbounds: I'm confused as to why you left the house when she's the one that's interested in a man who's old enough to be her father. As well, why give her $2,000? Isn't that rewarding her bad behavior? It's possible I'm missing something and there's a legitimate reason for giving her the $2,000. Also, it sounds like she's got the kids but you're the one that's a more capable parent - I don't imagine she's going to give them too much time and attention when she's busy with the OM.
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