Is there any hope?

[ditzchic]

I was seeing a guy for about 2.5 months. In the beginning it was hot and heavy. He was way more into me than I was into him. He was moving at the speed of light. I tried to slow things down but all my attempts failed miserably because he kept pushing and I was too impressed and intrigued to stick to my guns of keeping things light. Like seriously, he was planning things months in advance for us, (he had booked just about all of my weekends up until October) wanting to spend entire weekends together at each others places, going on long weekend trips together, wanting me to meet his friends and family. From like the second date!! I really liked him but I just wanted to date him and get to know him! I wasn't ready for that so quickly!!

 

Well to compensate I ended up kind of shutting down on him. I ended up flipping out on him about things a couple of times. Each time he talked me down and made things ok. Then I got very cold and standoffish towards him. I guess as a way to guard myself from him not giving me space and time. Well things went south quickly from there. 3 weekends ago he came to see me for the entire weekend (we live about 45 mins apart). The weekend was rough. It started off with me on edge because of some missing condoms (which he fully explained and I believe his explanation) and just got rougher. I took him out to meet some of my friends, one of my friends was really rude to him. I didn't stick up for him. Someone called him my boyfriend, I denied it in front of him. I take full responsibility for that. I acted like an ass.

 

Over the next two weeks communication between us got weird and cold on both ends. He ended up dumping me. He said he didn't think we were compatible, that we didn't have enough to talk about, that sometimes he feels like he's alone when he's with me. All things that I'm sure were brought on by my standoffish-ness towards him. He told me he would miss me and he hadn't completely made up his mind that he never wanted to see me again and he asked me to hang out with him the next night as friends. I told him no, not the next night. I needed time to process and I'm not sure how I feel about hanging out as "friends" with people I have feelings for. I thought about it and ended up sending him an e-mail the next morning asking if we could see each other sat night. He said he wasn't sure so I poured my heart out a bit and told him I know I acted like an ass and I was really sorry. I was terrified that things were moving so quickly and that was my defense mechanism. I told him I really like him but I didnt know what I wanted and I wasnt getting the time or the space to make up my mind. But I knew that I definitely didn't want to stop seeing him completely. I told him I wasn't asking for things to go right back to how they were and I wasn't looking for him to commit right then and there. I just wanted to talk. He said "No. Not now. Not yet."

 

That's the last I heard from him and that was two weeks ago. I sent him one text since then asking how he was doing and I got no response. I want to try again but I don't want to be that crazy girl, ya know?

 

I need to know how to approach this. I know that I definitely want to see him again. I'm not sure if he is "the one" but I'd like to find out. I'm not at that point yet, but he is the first guy I met in a long time that I think I might possibly, maybe get there with. And I definitely don't want to pretend like we've never known each other. I know the timing isn't right right now. I have issues I want to work out before I can get into something serious with him or anyone so some time apart will be a good thing. But I don't know how to attack this. I'm not sure what to do, how long to wait, what to say when the time comes... I'm a freaking mess about it! I had a feeling from the day he threw down that this wasn't the end but now I'm starting to doubt that. I've never even thought it was possible to miss a boy as much as I'm missing him right now... My doubts about wanting to be with him dissolved the minute I realized I miss him this much. It's like I didn't know what I wanted so I acted like a cold hearted bitch and now I know exactly what I want and it's not in reach... Bah!!

 

Do you think there is anything salvagable here?

[ditzchic]

Really guys. You don't even understand how heartbroken I am over all of this

[Bito]

Write him a letter and tell him how you feel and why you did what u did. Really the ball is in his court though. If he does not respond u have to move on.