Case of the ex

[Aussie]

Case of the ex..

 

I am new here and close to tears, any advice would be appreciated.

 

I met my boyfriend a couple of months ago. I really like him and I know he feels the same!

Everything is wonderful between us and I feel so happy. But I have one problem, his ex.

This will sound terrible, he logged on facebook on my phone and never logged out of it! I decided to quickly look at his messages (yes, wrong I know) but I found messages from his ex! Pretty much all of them since they met. I read a lot of them. Which I regret!!

They broke up just before we met and I found out that they were still having a sexual relationship up to the week before we met.

 

He never once told me this!!! She told him she felt he was using her and deserved better so she didn’t want to talk to him anymore and that he should delete her number??? This was like 5 months ago and they have kept in contact.

 

He agreed and said he couldn’t give her what she needs. I think that means a serious relationship. They lived together and he told me that he couldn’t deal with it as he felt too young to be so settled with her. He also wanted to open his own business and he said she was getting in the way as she wanted a lot of his time.

 

Anyways, I read his messages and he is totally playing me down to her!??? He won’t admit that we are in a relationship together. When she asks he just keeps saying ‘oh it’s nothing serious etc’ or ‘we are just seeing each other’. This is so hurtful. He should defend my honor! I am his girlfriend now, not her. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt her but he could just tell her. He also tells her private things in his life still!

The last message he sent her he said that he is with me because he sees me twice a week and can go do all his other stuff that she never let him do! He says he was lonely after they broke up and that he is with me to help him deal with it!!!!! WTTTFFF!!! Why is he telling her this? He does say nice things about me I guess.

The worst part is that I do only see him once or twice a week so he is not lying! Thats what I want too as I am busy but now I am questioning his motives for being with me.

He used to spend every night with her. I am in tears now. I don’t know why he is saying this to her.

I know he doesn’t want to get back with her, because I can see in her messages she is totally still into him.

 

I don't think they meet up as I can by their messages so I know he is not cheating on me or anything.

 

What do I do?

 

My head tells me this is trouble but my heart tells me I love him.

 

Do you think he was saying this stuff to make her feel better? Or is it true!!

[dreamingoftigers]

It's big trouble and they are still too enmeshed.

 

No guy can create passion for one person while still having a close connection like that for another.

 

Drop him. He failed the dating audition.

 

Then log out of his facebook.

[Aussie]

Thank you for your reply!

They don’t talk all the time. Just like once a month. But every time I am mentioned. She always asks things like ‘how is your girl’ and he just shrugs it off and says he doesn’t know. Makes me sad.

They don’t talk about sexual things. But in one message he did say how good the sex was with her. I think she was making it clear that she missed it too but he didn’t offer to meet her, instead mentioned that he can’t discuss these things as he is seeing me but if he wasn’t with me he would love to. I guess he could have met her if he wanted but he didn’t. That is reassuring. Or is it?

She seems really mad at him after their last conversation and blocked him from facebook and everything. I can’t check her profile to see what is going on in her life.

I wish I never saw those messages and I never would have even guessed he still spoke to her.

Do you think it could work out for me? He treats me well and cares for me. Maybe he was just being nice to her?

I’m so upset and don’t want to tell anyone my friends.